Wrinkles and Rosé
Season 10
Episode 9
Editor’s Rating
3 stars
***
A series of difficult conversations among the group shows the moment that Kyle and Amanda hit the point of no return.
Photo: Bravo
The reason I started watching Summer House was that the guys were hot. No, that’s wrong. The reason I started watching Summer House is that I met one of the editors who worked on it at a party, and she said it was amazing. The reason I kept watching Summer House was that the guys were hot. Season one Kyle Cooke, Carl Radke, and Lindsay’s insufferable ex Everett Weston were hotter than the Hamptons asphalt. And they just added hottie after hottie: Luke Gulbranson, Andrea Denver, Jordan Verroi. Haha. Just kidding on that last one. But this week we have met our final boss of hot guys on Summer House: West Wilson dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire.
I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about a man in an ill-fitting wig, mountains of polyester, and some character glasses that just get my gonads going nad. This is the best that West has ever looked, including every shirtless scene and every time he’s gotten out of the pool dripping wet. Carl may be putting in “tanlines” in his PornHub search terms, but my new go-to is “football players in booger drag.”
Even sexier than what West is wearing at the party is what West does at the party. Actually, this should show every future Bravoleb the perils of having a themed or costume party because you have to have serious conversations or big conflicts while dressed in the most ridiculous garb. Here is Mr. Doubtfire having a conversation with Kyle Cooke, who is dressed as Herbert, the pervy old man next door on Family Guy. West fulfills the promise he made in the last episode that he had to say something to Kyle about the way he treated Amanda the night before.
West says the perfect thing to Kyle: “I know that there are a lot of layers and depth, but this was the only time I thought, objectively, that you were being unnecessary and that nothing happened, and it was black and white, not the right thing. That can’t be the correct way for you to get shit off your chest, and that was bad.” He unequivocally condemns what Kyle did, tells him that he needs to apologize, and adds that Amanda doesn’t deserve it. But what he also does is tell him that he’s his friend, that he will support him, and that if he needs to unload on someone, he can unload on him. (Oh, how I would like to unload … Brian, stop!) This is how to be a friend, especially how men should be with their other male friends, letting them know that mistreating women is unacceptable and that there is nothing wrong with being in touch with their emotions. (Oh, how I would like to be in touch … Seriously, Brian? Snatch it together.)
The last I checked before starting the recap, the speculation was running hot, but nothing was official. There are lots of difficult conversations at this party, including one between Kyle and Carl, whose dyed gray hair makes him the second hottest guy at the party after West, as Mrs. Doubtfire. Carl tells Kyle that he was upset Kyle didn’t invest in Loverboy and even praises how much Kyle did for him, as well as how much he loves him as a friend. Kyle talks about how awful things are at Loverboy, how he only has three months of payroll left, and that the business is in dire straits. Carl says, in a confessional, that the conversation didn’t go anywhere and Kyle just hijacked it by complaining about his life. I get that Kyle is in a terrible place, that work has taken over his brain, and that his relationship is crumbling like a box of Ritz left out in the rain, but he can’t even ask Carl how Soft Bar is going? Can he find any way to show his dude some support? At least Carl has Bailey to flirt with.
While West is talking to Kyle inside, Mia, Ciara, and Lindsay are talking to Amanda outside. Mia, the newest addition, who I already adore more than expensive Christmas gifts, says it to Amanda, “Stop letting him do that shit to you. You don’t deserve it.” Whoomp, there it is, as an ancient melody says. This is the first time that we see Ciara broach the topic of separation with her, which I’m sure has happened plenty off-camera. She says, “If everything you do pisses him off, then maybe he needs a break from you, and if everything he does is reactive and impulsive toward you, then you need a break too.” She even offers to let Amanda stay at her house and tells her she’s having her back. What a great friend. I love to see women supporting and being there for each other, no matter what.
The morning after the party, Dara and KJ cook breakfast for everyone, which is super cute, and Ben asks Lindsay if he can bring his ex, Sabrina, to her housewarming party. She says that he can, but that’s probably because she didn’t meet a sugar daddy at the party and is hoping that Sabrina might bring her one instead of a plant or a bottle of wine to warm her new apartment. At breakfast, Ciara says that she bought her grandparents’ old house in North Carolina and is going down to sign the papers and start renovations on it. She says her grandfather built it, it was the one steady house she had in her life, and she wanted to keep it in the family. She invites the whole cast down next summer. I’m sure next summer they’ll all be welcome and dying to see what Ciara is up to. That made me realize that they’re the only cast on Bravo who don’t get to go on a trip every year. Send the Summer House-ers down to Ciara’s for a weekend away. They’ve earned it! Not going to lie, I teared up a bit at Ciara’s story, especially when Mia and West both said how proud they were of her for doing something that meant so much to her. It’s nice to see West supporting her.
The episode closes on Lindsay’s housewarming. How big is this house? How much does it cost to warm? How is Lindsay affording all of this?!? Those Hellman’s deals must be in the seven figures! Carl shows up and brings both Lindsay and Gemma gifts and they awkwardly smile at each other, but they’re getting over it, they’re moving on, they’re making peace because they are both professionals. See, exes can prosper on this show even after very contentious breakups. Lindsay doesn’t care about Carl, really, because she has on a metallic floral dress and looks absolutely smashing. There is a small confrontation between Bailey and Dara at the party, which Bailey seems to handle pretty well, but I think we’re going to get the second half of that fight in next week’s episode.
Until then, there’s one last heart-to-heart, and this one is between Amanda and Kyle, who has sobered up enough to talk about their relationship. Kyle apologized the night before, just like West told him, but, when they sit down after breakfast, Amanda wants to know what took him so long and why he had waited to apologize. He says that he was processing his feelings. Processing? Amanda responds perfectly, “Think and process? You walked by me and said, ’Fuck you!’” Kyle said he wanted to figure out why, but we know why. He feels like Amanda doesn’t love him, that she would rather spend time with their friends than with him, that she has hijacked his show, that she doesn’t care that his business is falling apart, that he’s hurt and she won’t soothe him. That is what he is feeling.
Kyle wants to know why Amanda isn’t putting in the work, as if she’s moved on to another relationship or something, but he wants her to know he will do the work, he will go to couple’s therapy, he’ll do anything she wants. Amanda says she’s stuck by him through the rumors and nastiness, as Meredith Marks would say, and all the terrible things he’s done, but she will not be talked to like that anymore; she’s done. She’s absolutely done. Kyle tells her that he just wants to be loved, and she says, “So do I. So do I.” She stares deep and long into his eyes, knowing that love is out there but not from him. She stares out the back window, over the pool and the mess in the backyard, and right through the forest and the Hamptons.
[Takes phone off “Do Not Disturb.”] … This just in, late-breaking news. The rumors are true. West and Amanda are officially dating. Or officially have a “connection,” whatever that means. But the rumors are true. Damn.
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