Detective Bergerac is back this week. The new Bergerac, that is, not John Nettles (Thu, U&Drama, 9pm). And it’s by no means the only British detective series being resurrected. Van der Valk, Dalgliesh, Lynley — they have all been dug up and reanimated in new incarnations. Also coming soon: Dalziel and Pascoe (this time played by Kerry Godliman and Nina Singh) and Lovejoy (no casting news yet). It’s not just British telly — Scrubs and Malcolm in the Middle have just come back, as did Frasier and so many others. Does nobody have any original ideas? Is there no end to the 2020s wave of TV revivals?
No doubt the answer is no, so if we are going to have more reboots and revivals, which should it be? Here’s my list of ten suggestions.
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10. The Professionals
Like The Sweeney, The Professionals is probably one of those that shouldn’t be attempted because a) how could it be improved upon? and b) its unreconstructed masculinity would probably cause it to be cancelled immediately (consider that the new Dalziel and Pascoe will be female). Still, a wisecracking, casually heroic duo of CI5 toughies would be a welcome alternative to all the cosy crime that’s around. Don’t you agree, sunshine? Original series on ITVX
9. Hammer House of Horror
Prunella Gee in Hammer House of HorrorAlamy
Yes, we’ve had Black Mirror and Inside No 9, but how about some straight-up-and-down horror short stories, old school? The success of Netflix’s Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen has shown that there’s an appetite for intelligently crafted nastiness, and it would be a relief to have self-contained tales to dip into rather than five-season behemoths (as per Stranger Things). ITVX
8. The Banana Splits
The Banana SplitsAlamy
Very much a product of late-1960s California, although repeated on British TV until the 1980s, Hanna-Barbera’s The Banana Splits was a zany show mixing the exploits of a musical group in outsized animal outfits (a bongo-playing gorilla etc) with cartoons. The 2019 film reboot was more sinister horror; what we need is a more faithful TV revival. Why? So there’s something for today’s kids to throw down their Roblox screens for and watch every Saturday morning. DVD
7. The Six Million Dollar Man
Lee Majors in The Six Million Dollar ManMoviestore/REX/Shutterstock
Because there’s no TV like this any more — a square-jawed, all-American (but non-Maga) hero being handsome and audacious enough with his bionic abilities to become a pop culture icon for our times (just don’t make him another superhero in a cape). Yes, he’ll work for an intelligence agency, but it will be for the cause of good democratic values, and he’ll be played by Chris Pratt. Sky
6. Rumpole of the Bailey
Leo McKern in Rumpole of the BaileyFremantleMedia/REX/Shutterstock
Perhaps Rumpole is ripe for a revival? He could be played by a great character actor of a more Rumpolian vintage — David Haig, Robert Glenister or Timothy Spall — or perhaps a touch younger: Sam West or Adrian Scarborough. Just as long as they can do justice to the rumpled, claret-swilling irascibility of John Mortimer’s barrister. ITVX
5. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace
Matt Berry, Richard Ayoade, Matthew Holness and Alice Lowe in Garth Marenghi’s DarkplaceChannel 4
The cult reputation of this parody of 1980s horror, set in a hospital situated over the gates of Hell, has only grown since 2004. The titular hero was played by Marenghi, an author of James Herbert-like novels, a self-proclaimed dream weaver (and the alter ego of the comedian Matthew Holness) whose intention was “to change the evolutionary course of Man over a series of half-hour episodes”. It also starred Matt Berry and Richard Ayoade — a revival feels irresistible. Channel 4
4. The Night Of
There was but one series of this gripping 2016 crime drama, and it gave us Riz Ahmed in a star-making turn as an innocent young man put through the wringer of the New York prison system. Why not an anthology series featuring further cases of his dishevelled fleabag lawyer (played by John Turturro)? This great character had more to give. HBO Max
3. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Aaron Sorkin’s 2006 comedy drama about the backstage madness of a sketch comedy show would feel topical with the new Saturday Night Live: UK. Very much in keeping with The West Wing and The Newsroom — incredibly smart characters trading snappy dialogue about integrity v ratings — yet criminally cancelled after one series, this starred Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry. Hard to know who could fit Perry’s shoes but, in short, isn’t a new Aaron Sorkin series well overdue? Buy
2. Zen
In 2011 the BBC1 controller deemed that there were “already enough male crime fighters on TV” and axed Rufus Sewell’s Italian-based detective after three 90-minute episodes. Cue outcry, not least from Times readers. For years. Perhaps that was because Aurelio Zen was rather dishy in his sharp suits (“I think we should have an affair,” is how women tended to end conversations with him), partly because it made you want to book a holiday in Rome pronto.
1. Sapphire & Steel
Joanna Lumley and David McCallum in Sapphire & SteelITV/REX/Shutterstock
The late 1970s/early 1980s sci-fi series starring Joanna Lumley and David McCallum as mysterious investigators — a kind of interdimensional Mulder and Scully — was an eerie oddity, and there aren’t enough eerie oddities on TV. Convince Jodie Comer and Bertie Carvel to take the roles. Which, of course, could be terrible and an indication that it’s time to leave these kinds of classic British series well alone. ITVX
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