With income upwards of $150,000 a year before taxes, a family in the United States should be able to live a comfortable middle-class life. But for Rachel and her husband, a religious Jewish couple in New Jersey with three children, it’s barely enough to scrape by — even after her parents step in to help.

“I’m a CPA, and I go through my expenses every single year,” Rachel (not her real name) told The Times of Israel. “I can’t make it work.”

It’s not because they live a lavish lifestyle or have an oversized house, Rachel said. It is simply the cost of living in a Modern Orthodox Jewish community: school tuition, kosher food, holidays, and community fees that seem to gobble up more and more of the family’s income every year.

The past year has been particularly expensive, Rachel said. The family’s oldest daughter is in Israel on a gap year program, like many of her peers, at a cost of some $35,000 for tuition, accommodation, and expenses. The other two kids attend Jewish schools where the official tuition price is about $25,000 for each child. After financial aid and benefits, they pay “just” $11,000 for their daughter in high school and $16,000 for a son in elementary school.

Total Jewish education costs for the year, before any other expenses: $62,000.

“People complain about the price of college tuition,” Rachel said, “but we’ve been paying that for years, and that’s before college even starts.”

Factor in the costs of living in a relatively upscale Jewish community, and it’s hard to make ends meet even on a respectable salary, Rachel said.

“How does the community afford to keep doing this?” she wondered. “I’m not sure.”


Illustrative: Yeshiva University students Aaron Heideman, left, and Marc Shapiro study in the university’s library in New York, December 12, 2019. (AP/Luis Andres Henao)

She’s not the only one asking that question. With tuition prices steadily rising in recent years, many in the Orthodox world are trying to figure out how to live within their means and stay afloat without compromising on their religious principles.

“If you do the math, a religious family has to effectively be among the top 3-4 percent of earners in the United States in order to keep up with the costs of living,” said Zvi (not his real name), an activist for financial education in the Orthodox world. “Basic Jewish needs cost a lot of money.”

The costs go beyond education, explained Eli Langer, host of the Kosher Money podcast on personal finances.

“There is also the cost of kosher food, and of living in neighborhoods that have to be in close proximity to a shul,” Langer said. “There are expectations around costly weddings, summer camps, and gap-year programs in Israel. All of this creates enormous financial pressure that many families endure quietly.”

The issue is “a massive story, with so many different cogs,” said Rabbi Simon Taylor, the Orthodox Union’s national director of communal engagement who oversees its Living Smarter Jewish initiative, which provides coaching on budgeting and financial responsibility. And it’s a challenge that resonates throughout the United States, even if it is most strongly felt in East Coast Orthodox strongholds in New York and New Jersey.

“Research has shown that this is the single biggest issue affecting the religious community,” Taylor said. “And we’re looking to create more awareness so we can spread information and financial literacy in as many ways as we can.”


The view of New York City from the boardwalk across the Hudson River (iStock by Getty Images)

Understanding the reality

A seminal 2024 survey of nearly 3,000 Orthodox Jews in the US, conducted by Langer’s podcast, offered a detailed look at the scope of the problem. Some 78% of respondents said finances were a major source of stress for them, and only about half of the respondents earning $250,000 to $300,000 said they felt like they were “making it.” Even above $300,000, more than 30% said they felt financially strained.

Two-thirds of respondents said they carried debt (excluding mortgages), and 62% of people said they relied on parental support for at least one of their major life expenses

Two-thirds of respondents said they carried debt (excluding mortgages), and 62% of people said they relied on parental support for at least one of their major life expenses. Many have low levels of savings and retirement funds.

About 80% of the respondents said they live in the New York Tri-State area, broadly in line with the geographic distribution of Orthodox Jews in the US. Some 82% reported annual gross income above $100,000.

For comparison, the median salary in the US in 2024 was a bit over $83,000, according to data from the US Census, and median salaries in New York and New Jersey, two states with large Jewish communities, are $69,000 and $83,000, respectively. An average family of four needs about $107,000 to cover all of its necessities, according to a 2024 study by SmartAsset.

Orthodox Jews make up about 9% of the estimated 7.5 million Jews living in the US, according to Pew Research.


Jews walk in downtown Lakewood, New Jersey, on November 4, 2022. (AP/Wayne Parry)

The difference can be stark. Shana (not her real name), a religious mother living in Teaneck, an upscale, predominantly Jewish town in New Jersey, said her family feels financially strained on their combined annual salary of $400,000 (or about $260,000 after taxes), even as her non-Jewish neighbors accumulate wealth and buy vacation homes. The family pays $60,000 a year to send a child with special needs to a private Jewish school, $33,000 for their high schooler, and another $18,000 for a third child in primary school. They also pay $21,000 in property taxes and have a $2,000 monthly mortgage, bringing those fixed expenses to nearly $160,000 a year.

Shana and her husband don’t take any tuition assistance, since the schools would require them to cut back on other things they consider essential, like retirement contributions, she said. The couple is also trying to save up for a gap year in Israel and upcoming weddings. They skimp on buying meat because the cost is “astronomical,” and they rarely take vacations, she said.

“We make sure to set aside enough savings so that we don’t feel like we can’t afford to repair the car or things like that,” Shana said. “But if things were any tighter than this, we would start to feel uncomfortable.”

The main cost: Tuition

At the heart of the financial challenge is Jewish day school tuition, by far the single largest and most defining expense for most Orthodox families.

Unlike most American households, which send their kids to taxpayer-funded public schools, many Orthodox families send their children to private religious schools that provide intensive Jewish studies in addition to general classes.

‘Jewish education is a core value for most observant families, and it’s seen as even more essential now with so much antisemitism in the public schools’

“Jewish education is a core value for most observant families, and it’s seen as even more essential now with so much antisemitism in the public schools,” said Zvi. “It’s a key to Jewish continuity and keeping our families in the fold, and many consider it a non-negotiable necessity.”

The data bears that out. According to a 2021 study by Nishma Research, which specializes in surveys of the Orthodox community, only 7% of Modern Orthodox and 1% of Haredi said there was “a good chance they would consider” taking a child out of Jewish day school for financial considerations.


Illustrative: Jewish children at the zoo (iStock by Getty Images)

Providing a Jewish education is seen by many as critical to passing on traditions and identity to the next generation, an idea that numerous academic studies have supported. In recent months, various leaders have also touted day schools as a key to fighting antisemitism.

But prices can quickly add up, especially for families in ultra-Orthodox or “yeshivish” communities where large families are often viewed as a religious ideal.

“The mitzva [commandment] to have kids is very expensive,” said Eli Fried, an investment advisor to religious families. “For people who are God-fearing, we believe that He takes that into account.”

‘It’s basically an entire American salary just to cover tuition costs’

In many schools, particularly in large communities, tuition can easily range from $20,000 to $30,000 and above per child annually. Costs can be a bit lower in some places, including ultra-Orthodox communities in places like Lakewood, New Jersey, but tuition for families with four or more children can easily reach $50,000 to $100,000 per year.

Tuition has risen steadily in recent years as the costs of teachers’ salaries, facility maintenance, transportation and other expenses continue to rise. Competition between schools also pushes institutions to expand programs and services. Many schools operate on tight margins despite the high tuition costs, administrators say.

“It’s basically an entire American salary just to cover tuition costs,” Zvi noted. (This stands in strong contrast to life in Israel, where the public school system offers religious and Haredi education tracks funded by taxpayers.)


Illustrative: An ultra-Orthodox family in New York (iStock by Getty Images)

Aid and subsidies are available in most cases, with schools offering a complex puzzle of grants and communal support to adjust payments based on a family’s financial situation. Often, that means higher-earning families subsidize those who cannot afford the full cost.

“People see it as a communal responsibility, and it’s amazing that there is such a strong safety net,” Fried said. “But it also creates intense pressure, because many of the people doing the subsidizing don’t feel financially secure themselves.”

A world of additional expenses

Besides school tuition, there are plenty of other costs to religious life.

Food is a big one. Kosher food is generally expensive due to specialized production and supervision needs, with kosher meat often costing significantly more than non-kosher meat. And large meals for Shabbat, holidays, and other gatherings add up.

In the Kosher Money survey cited earlier, half of the respondents said they spent more than $400 per week on food, and one-third spent more than $500. For comparison, the average non-Jewish household in the US spends about $270 per week on groceries, according to a 2023 analysis by HelpAdvisor using US Census data.


Moshe Werzberger shops for Passover food and other groceries at a kosher supermarket in the Hasidic Jewish section of Brooklyn’s Williamsburg neighborhood in New York on April 19, 2022. (AP/Luis Andres Henao)

“When you’re cooking for a large family plus guests every week, it adds up quickly,” said Shalom Goodman, who runs a nonprofit that advises families on budgeting within the community.

Housing is also a major pressure point. Because many observant Jews prefer to live within close proximity of community anchors like synagogues, “religious” neighborhoods often command premium prices, especially in affluent communities where even modest homes can approach $1 million.

‘When you’re cooking for a large family plus guests every week, it adds up quickly’

Homes within walking distance of synagogues can often cost 20-30% more than identical houses just blocks farther out, several sources pointed out.

Summer camps, which have come to be considered essential in many Orthodox circles, are another significant cost. Day camps can cost thousands of dollars per child, while overnight programs are even more expensive, parents say.

“There’s an expectation,” Rachel said. “If all your kids’ friends are going, it’s very hard to say no.”


Illustrative: Campers at a Jewish summer camp. (Jewish Foundation for Camp)

Other expenses scale with family size: larger vehicles, higher utility bills and increased healthcare and clothing costs. On top of that are “lifecycle” expenses — weddings, post-high school study programs in Israel and, in some cases, ongoing financial support for children after marriage.

“We’re not talking about a situation where you can simply tell people to spend less to live within their means,” Zvi said. “You can always point to someone taking a nicer vacation or making a more expensive wedding. But even if you strip all of that away, you’re still left with a very high baseline.”

‘There’s a misconception that this is about keeping up with the neighbor’

“There’s a misconception that this is about keeping up with the neighbors,” Fried added. “There is no question that dynamic exists to some extent, particularly in a world where people of all different levels of income are bound by common schools and shuls.”

But the reality is something more nuanced that outsiders usually don’t understand, Fried said. “Just because many of us live among wealthy people and send our kids to private schools, it doesn’t mean we are wealthy ourselves.”

Searching for solutions

For years, Orthodox Jews rarely spoke publicly about financial struggles. That began to change during the COVID-19 pandemic, especially after the Nishma survey cited above identified money as the number one challenge facing Orthodox Jews.

In 2021, Eli Langer launched his Kosher Money show on the Living L’Chaim podcast network founded by his brother, Yaakov. Using initial funding provided by the OU, it was the first show dedicated to Orthodox personal finances, and it hit a nerve.

“I think we were a little bit ahead of our time,” Langer said. “Our conversations help people realize they’re not in this alone, and many have become more open about seeking help.”

Langer has interviewed finance guru Dave Ramsey, Jewish billionaires, and dozens of rabbis and community members, with conversations blending religious and ethical views on money with practical advice on budgeting, investing and charitable giving. The show has “well over 50 million” views and listens across platforms, Langer said.


Kosher Money host Eli Langer with Personal Finance expert Dave Ramsey in an undated photo (Living Lchaim)

“I think one of the most important solutions to the cost-of-living problem is financial education,” Langer said. “When we get people talking and thinking about their finances, they live with more intentionality, and that’s the best start.”

Around the same time as the podcast started, the Orthodox Union launched its Living Smarter Jewish initiative, which offers free financial coaching on budgeting, saving and long-term planning.

“We’re trying to change the conversation,” said LSJ program coordinator Ilana Pleeter. “Instead of just talking about expenses, we want people to think proactively about planning and sustainability.”

With the help of volunteer coaches around the country, the program says it has assisted more than 4,000 couples, including many newlyweds.

‘Instead of just talking about expenses, we want people to think proactively about planning and sustainability’

Much of the advice mirrors mainstream personal finance guidance: avoid debt, save consistently and spend intentionally. But LSJ also tries to address the realities of Orthodox communal life without challenging core religious values such as Jewish education and large families.

“Sometimes it’s an issue of ‘keeping up with the Joneses,’ or ‘keeping up with the Cohens,’” said Rabbi Simon Taylor, referring to social pressures around spending in Orthodox communities. “That’s what we call ‘frum inflation’ — the creeping cost of what becomes normalized in religious communities.”

At the same time, Taylor said, many financial problems stem less from extravagance than from a lack of long-term planning.

He quoted former OU president Rabbi Moshe Hauer: “’A bar mitzvah is not a surprise party.’ It’s something families know about for years, and should start preparing for in advance instead of scrambling when the time comes.”


Rabbi Moshe Hauer, executive vice president of the Orthodox Union, speaks at the group’s Biennial gala, held at Cipriani’s in New York City, in February 2025. (Orthodox Union via JTA)

Rethinking wedding costs

Still, there are movements to cut costs for the community, particularly in regard to communal events like weddings and bar mitzvahs.

It’s not uncommon for high-end events to cost as much as $100,000 or more in some places, creating undue social pressures on less-wealthy families. But in recent years, a new approach has been gaining traction in recent years as costs spiral out of control.

The “Takana wedding” — a term implying a communal enactment — is a standardized option that many Orthodox halls now offer, allowing guests to choose a pre-set, discounted package with standardized menus, a limited choice of music and amenities, and a cap on the number of guests. The key to these packages, sources explained, is volume.

“Everyone still earns money, because the halls make deals with the bands and photographers where they say, ‘We’ll keep you busy every night if you lower your prices,” Fried said. “So now you can charge less, because you might have 10 events in a month instead of one.”


Illustrative: Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn, New York (Mendy Hechtman/Flash90)

Such weddings can cost 50% to 75% less than other events, and have become so popular among ultra-Orthodox communities in Lakewood and Brooklyn that some now come from out of town to make their weddings there, Fried said.

The goal, he stressed, is not only to lower costs but to create healthier communal norms around spending.

“One family cutting back on their own can feel embarrassed,” Fried said. “But if the entire community is doing it together, then it becomes normal.”

A policy push on tuition

Meanwhile, efforts to reduce the costs of school tuition are also picking up, led by a new government policy put forth by the Trump administration.

An organization known as the Teach Coalition, founded by the Orthodox Union in 2013, works to help Jewish schools access public funding streams that have historically gone underutilized. The group operates in seven states that together account for roughly 90% of the US Jewish day school population.

“Any government funding and resources to drive down the cost of tuition — we are front and center on,” said Sydney Altfield, national director of Teach Coalition.


Illustrative: Young ultra-Orthodox Jewish girls seen in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York City on March 21, 2012. (Serge Attal/Flash90)

Until now, the organization has focused largely on state-level programs, including STEM funding in New York, universal scholarship programs in Florida and grants for security, arts and music programs in multiple states.

But advocates are now focused on a newly approved federal initiative known as the Education Freedom Tax Credit, created under the “One Big, Beautiful Bill Act” and expected to take effect in 2027.

Under the program, individuals who donate to approved scholarship-granting organizations can receive federal tax credits of up to $1,700. Those organizations can then distribute tuition assistance and other educational aid.

‘People donating these funds aren’t really losing anything, since they recoup the money through tax credits’

“In other words, people donating these funds aren’t really losing anything, since they recoup the money through tax credits,” Altfield said. “We hope that will encourage giving on a much larger scale.”

Teach Coalition believes the framework could unlock major new streams of philanthropic funding for Jewish education and has made persuading states to opt into the program one of its top priorities.

“This is a program that we hope will not just change the course of Jewish education, but the course of Jewish continuity,” Altfield said.

Moving out of town

With the cost of living so high, some families find that the simplest answer is to move somewhere else.

Ayelet (not her real name) and her family moved to a town in northern Israel seven years ago when they were expecting their fifth child, and they realized they couldn’t afford it anymore.

“A lot of the issue has to do with the number of kids you have,” she said. “With a small family, things are generally cheaper in the US, but there’s a certain point where the numbers flip.”

Housing, food, and consumer items are generally cheaper in the US than in Israel, and salaries are generally higher, Ayelet noted. Jewish education and health care, on the other hand, are covered almost completely by taxes in Israel.


Shloime and Yonina Kaufman, accompanied by their son Nachi, shop for groceries at Pomegranate kosher foods supermarket, August 19, 2008 in New York. (AP/Mark Lennihan)

“There are so many variables affecting each family, like where you live, how many kids you have, how much you make,” she said. “There’s not a clear roadmap that works for everyone.”

Meanwhile, others in the expensive tri-state area are seeking cheaper communities stateside.

Cities in states such as Ohio, Florida and Texas have increasingly attracted Orthodox families seeking a more sustainable cost of living. In some areas, homes cost a fraction of comparable properties in the New York region, and certain states offer programs that help offset private school tuition through vouchers, tax credits or scholarships. Some communities, like Tulsa, Oklahoma, even recruit newcomers with housing incentives and help integrating into schools and synagogues.

‘There’s not a clear roadmap that works for everyone’

“There are many communities across the US that people don’t consider because they’ve never visited, but they are happy to welcome you for Shabbat,” Langer said. Young families, in particular, would do well to get more familiar with these communities, he said.

Still, relocation comes with major emotional and social tradeoffs. Orthodox life is deeply communal, and many families are reluctant to leave behind relatives, schools, rabbis and long-standing social networks.

“Financially, moving might make perfect sense,” said one Orthodox mother who considered relocating but ultimately stayed in New Jersey. “But your entire life is here.”

Smaller communities may also offer fewer schooling options and less developed kosher infrastructure, sources noted.

For now, many Orthodox families are staying put, and they are generally happy. The 2021 Nishma survey found that 70% of Modern Orthodox respondents and 89% of Haredi respondents feel the additional costs of Orthodoxy are “worth it.”

The challenge is not only how to remain financially afloat today, but whether Orthodox middle-class life in America will remain sustainable for future generations.

“We love this community and this lifestyle,” Rachel said about her New Jersey family. “The question is whether regular families can realistically keep doing it.”