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Landman<\/a><\/p>\n Plans, Tears, and Sirens<\/p>\n \n Season 2<\/p>\n Episode 9\n <\/p>\n \n Editor\u2019s Rating<\/p>\n 1 stars<\/p>\n *\n <\/p>\n \n Taylor Sheridan has officially written the strawman to end all strawmen. In many serialized dramas, the climax of a given season lands in the penultimate episode; think of the dramatic battles and major character deaths of Game of Thrones or, further back, The Sopranos and The Wire. But Landman isn\u2019t like most dramas. Tonight\u2019s penultimate episode of season two feels like an anti-climax \u2014 not just a letdown generally, but the diametric opposite of a climax.<\/p>\n Early on, I had reason to think this was a good one. I appreciate that Rebecca\u2019s romantic drama doesn\u2019t get dragged out too long; she shows up at Charlie\u2019s door early in the morning to apologize for pushing him away and openly admits she likes him, which is big for her. I\u2019m not necessarily so charmed by Charlie that I really needed to see him make Rebecca work for it \u2014 nor do I really need Rebecca to have a man in her life in general \u2014 but it\u2019s a cute enough scene, with the two essentially agreeing to a long-distance relationship while he\u2019s on the rig for the next six months.<\/p>\n Yes, the offshore rig is finally launching! The energy is infectious early in \u201cPlans, Tears, and Sirens,\u201d with the main M-Tex crew (Tommy, Rebecca, Nate, Dale, Cami) flying to Louisiana for a somewhat garish but deserved viewing party. Tommy looks very anxious and drained during the trip, still fixated on the low likelihood of hitting gas, but he\u2019s no match for Cami\u2019s perhaps-delusional confidence that this will pay off. She calls it her gut; he calls it greed.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve enjoyed Tommy and Cami\u2019s relationship all season, and that includes the episode\u2019s best and most eventful scene, when the two sit together and watch the rig pass by. Cami is luxuriating in the same rush that drove Monty to pursue big risks, unable to connect the dots and understand that it killed her husband. Tommy tries to make her see this \u2014 after all, he once felt that rush, and lost everything as a result \u2014 but she insists that the purity of that feeling actually allowed Monty to live. (I mean, I guess, but it also did kill him, and it could very well kill her too.) And if Tommy is opposed to big risks, Cami can\u2019t have him as the president of her company anymore.<\/p>\n It\u2019s major news that Tommy got fired, sure, an event befitting of a penultimate installment. But this drama makes up such a small slice of the episode compared to the true main storyline this week: Ainsley moving into the TCU dorms for a summer cheerleading camp.<\/p>\n Even setting aside the obvious \u201cwhy are we spending time on this?\u201d question, the stakes here are confusing right off the bat. This was always supposed to be the season when Ainsley moved away from home for college, but she has been spending more time with her parents than ever. I understand that she and her mom are best friends who emotionally depend on each other, but is it really believable that they\u2019d be so over-the-top emotional about separating for a week? That goodbye scene is totally melodramatic, especially with the blaring score and Angela\u2019s cartoonish, wistful \u201cIf you love something, set it free.\u201d I guess some of this is supposed to be funny, but it doesn\u2019t land either comedically or dramatically.<\/p>\n But the story really gets unbearable when we meet Ainsley\u2019s new roommate, a grumpy non-binary sports medicine student. Let me start just by describing this person in neutral terms: Their name is Paigyn. They\u2019re from Minneapolis and have a smelly pet ferret. They\u2019re vegan, and would prefer that Ainsley not eat meat or, in fact, bring any animal products (including cowhide shoes) into the room. They meditate at noon and hate music. This dorm is their safe space, and they \u201cneed their environment crafted to support their mental health.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2026Yeah. I mean, the description speaks for itself. Paigyn is possibly the Taylor Sheridan strawman to end all strawmen, like Piper Perabo\u2019s Yellowstone character with all the annoying qualities pumped up to 100. In fact, they might be the single worst character he\u2019s ever written, and it\u2019s impressive to accomplish that in one episode (one scene, even). Are we still doing this in 2026?<\/p>\n It\u2019s strange, because if you ever actually meet real trans people, you realize how complex and vibrant and human they are, like anybody else. I\u2019m friends with plenty of variations of the specific made-up demographic Sheridan is trying to skewer, whether you focus on \u201ctrans\u201d or \u201clefty\u201d or even \u201cperson who uses too much therapy-speak,\u201d to borrow one of his points of ire. But not a single one of my non-binary friends gets \u201ctriggered\u201d by the word \u201cpenetrate,\u201d or by the thought of a penis, nor do they insert the phrase \u201csafe space\u201d or \u201cpatriarchy\u201d into every conversation, nor do they insist on banning animal products from their vicinity, nor do they dislike music. They\u2019re normal fucking people.<\/p>\n Maybe I\u2019m taking this more seriously than I should. Sheridan clearly seems to find all this funny more than anything. But it\u2019s in episodes like these that his true worldview comes out, unchecked by any other influences in his nonexistent writers\u2019 room.<\/p>\n I\u2019m actually curious how this storyline will end next week, because you can imagine a less awful version of this. I still find Ainsley\u2019s bimbo characterization confusing based on her good ACT score, but it can be funny to watch her acclimate to an unfamiliar setting. I did laugh when she said, \u201cI will see they later.\u201d I even kind of like the admissions office scene, when Greta pushes back on her request for a roommate change by encouraging her to assert herself and express how she\u2019s feeling to Paigyn about their unreasonable room rules. That scene seems to telegraph a turn in which Ainsley grows up a little, no longer needing her mom to solve every little issue for her.<\/p>\n Then Angela comes barreling in again after a call from Ainsley, demanding that Greta waive the housing requirements and secure her daughter an expensive suite in town for the week instead. Before we know it, Ainsley has left Paigyn and their ferret behind, and she and her mom are on their way to the country club with the cheerleading squad. The two even agree that Angela should stay nearby the whole time Ainsley is in college.<\/p>\n Now, this is very clearly a regression, and I\u2019d be surprised if next week\u2019s finale doesn\u2019t have at least some definitive \u201cgrowing up\u201d moment where Ainsley establishes her independence. Still, I can confidently say that wherever this goes, it\u2019s not worth what it took to get there. There\u2019s nothing satisfying about where we leave things in this episode, with Angela gleefully misgendering Paigyn while blaming the freshman\u2019s unhappiness on their victim mentality.<\/p>\n What is the function of a character like Paigyn in this story? It seems like they were mainly created for Sheridan to laugh at, an easy punching bag for all the things that annoy him about young feminazis and their confusing pronouns or whatever. (I\u2019m surprised he had the restraint to hold off on the blue hair.) Narratively speaking, though, Paigyn should exist to help facilitate Ainsley\u2019s break from her mother, to help open her eyes up to a world outside Odessa. Growing up means reflecting, learning, stepping outside your comfort zone instead of screaming, crying, and throwing up when you encounter someone different. But Sheridan isn\u2019t much interested in reflection \u2014 unless maybe it\u2019s the manly kind of reflection, which basically means an old man sitting on a porch, silently staring at the sunset and thinking about some age-old loss.<\/p>\n It makes me think of the big Ariana moment at the end of this episode, when the asshole who harassed her during her first shift returns to rape her in the back alley. Except this isn\u2019t an \u201cAriana moment,\u201d really; it\u2019s a Cooper moment, focused on the hero who was clearly always going to show up, save her in the nick of time, and nearly beat Johnny to death. The tense music and security cam footage seem to suggest this isn\u2019t over, that Cooper could face consequences for hurting the guy. But there\u2019s no real tension here, especially when we see that Johnny is still (just barely) conscious. More importantly, why are we worrying about Cooper at all? Oh, that\u2019s right, because this is a story about a man visiting his fianc\u00e9e at work and rescuing her from a scary guy, not a story about a woman facing a scary guy at work.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t like the choice to put Ariana through a trauma like this as a way of ginning up some drama in an otherwise stagnant story, and I don\u2019t like the choice to make her a damsel in distress for Cooper to save. It\u2019s a strange way to end a penultimate episode \u2014 but in a way, that makes it the perfect conclusion for a bizarre 56 minutes of television. I\u2019ve only written one one-star recap before this, and that was for Yellowstone\u2019s penultimate episode<\/a>, a dull-as-dishwater showcase for Taylor Sheridan\u2019s ego. This one doesn\u2019t feature a cameo from the man himself, but it similarly feels like a trip into his psyche, with characters stuck in various stages of arrested development right alongside the guy writing them, and I don\u2019t like what I see. Maybe he should borrow Greta\u2019s advice and be an adult.<\/p>\n \u2022 Really not enjoying the T.L. and Cheyenne stuff, either. It\u2019s just an old man\u2019s wet dream on repeat: T.L. hanging out in the pool with a beautiful younger woman, musing about how they\u2019d be together if he were 30 years younger. She gets a little more backstory this time \u2014 apparently her real name is Penny, and she has $162,000 saved up so far to travel the world \u2014 but that\u2019s about it. Maybe they\u2019ll run away together in the finale? Why the hell not?<\/p>\n \u2022 Also, Cooper is still leading his crew and starting to drill again, asserting himself to Boss. Riveting. (For real, what is he learning here that he didn\u2019t learn while working on the crew in season one?)<\/p>\n \u2022 \u201cShe said, \u2018Act like an adult, like it says on my driver\u2019s license.\u2019 Which it doesn\u2019t say anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2022 Okay, I do want an alligator po\u2019 boy now.<\/p>\n \u2022 Ainsley doesn\u2019t know what a ferret or weasel are?<\/p>\n VULTURE NEWSLETTER<\/p>\n Keep up with all the drama of your favorite shows!<\/p>\n Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice<\/p>\n
\n Photo: Emerson Miller\/Paramount+\n <\/p>\n