Here are some smart ways caregivers can handle situations that involve untruthful behavior:<\/p>\n
Approach the issue with empathy. Don\u2019t accuse the person of lying or be antagonistic toward them because these tactics are likely to backfire. Instead, sit down and gently ask about challenges your loved one may be facing with their diet or medication protocol, their safety or other issues. \u201cAvoid being too domineering,\u201d Grossberg says. \u201cHave a discussion and keep in mind the importance of their maintaining control.\u201d For your own peace of mind, it can help to remind yourself that the person may not be telling the truth for a good reason \u2014 to protect themselves.<\/p>\n
In some instances, it can help to say, \u201cI don\u2019t feel like you\u2019re being honest with me,\u201d then describe the behavior you\u2019re seeing, suggests Candace S. Brown, an associate professor of gerontology at the University of North Carolina Charlotte. For example, maybe your loved one is insisting they\u2019re eating regularly, but the fridge is still filled with the food you brought over days ago. \u201cSometimes we think older adults are lying and they just forget,\u201d Brown says. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Brainstorm solutions. Talk to your loved one about their concerns and challenges, and explore ways to help them address the issue at hand. Not long ago, Dr. Grossberg saw an older woman who had depression<\/a> and high blood pressure<\/a>; her adult daughter was upset because the woman hadn\u2019t taken her diuretic that morning, though she said she had. With some gentle probing, he discovered the mother was worried about having to go to the bathroom or having an accident when she came to the doctor\u2019s office. They came up with a workaround for situations like this, so that the woman could delay that dosage until after an appointment. The goal, he says, \u201cis to find a way to give control back to them.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n Join Our Fight for Caregivers<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how you can help:<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no perfect solution to every scenario,\u201d Grossberg adds. \u201cIt takes creativity and ingenuity, and open and honest conversation.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n Ask to attend doctors\u2019 visits with them. \u201cConvince your parent to allow you to be there to help them share their story with the doctor so the doctor is in a position to offer the best care,\u201d Jacobs suggests. That way, you can add details and your own observations to what they tell the doctor during the visit. \u201cIt\u2019s a matter of being vigilant in observing how a parent is aging but not jumping in too quickly to take over,\u201d says Jacobs.<\/p>\n