my favorite Hasan Piker TikTok<\/a>. It seems like it\u2019s not until next episode that she gets, to quote Carl Radke, in the mix.<\/p>\nThat leaves us with two newbies: Bailey and Ben. I think they have the most staying power, but they also seem diametrically opposed. Bailey is cute, funny, game, and cried at her very first dinner, which seems like she would be a great addition to this show. Her bestie Levi may be holding her back, and she hasn\u2019t gotten into the established group dynamics. But every time we\u2019ve seen her talk about Kyle and Amanda\u2019s relationship, she has been spot on, which belies a kind of emotional intelligence that is a good trait for any potential practitioner of the reality television arts and sciences. I\u2019m sensing potential, but I\u2019m going to need to see a bit more.<\/p>\n
Finally, there\u2019s Ben. I have to say that for a reality TV vet, I\u2019m not seeing that potential, that drive. Take Lindsay Hubbard, for instance. She shows up first at the singles\u2019 mixer and then at the house for the weekend, and she is reporting for duty. [\ud83e\udee1] She\u2019s asking for the gossip, she\u2019s meeting the new people, she\u2019s asking West about what is going on with him and Ciara. She is pushing story, producing drama, making this mother-fucking show because she has a child that needs to be fed, clothed, and pampered, and she is not going to miss a single solitary paycheck. She is flirting with Ben because, well, he is blindingly hot, but also because she knows that it\u2019s great content that everyone at the network will want to see and she\u2019ll get some more followers for her next Hellman\u2019s mayo deal. (I also love how Lindsay says that now that she has a child, she isn\u2019t a ticking biological clock anymore, so she doesn\u2019t have to search for \u201cthe one,\u201d she can just be a ho again, like in the old days. I am so happy to have messy, hook-up Lindsay back in this house.)<\/p>\n
But we\u2019re talking about Ben. Lindsay (hold on, I\u2019ll get back to Ben) says that Ben is very hot, but she never knows if he\u2019s flirting or not. Bailey and Levi said the same thing a couple of episodes ago: they can\u2019t tell if he\u2019s engaging or if he\u2019s just handsome and nice. I think that is the problem with him on the show in general. Is he just hot and nice and kind of boring? Is he holding something back? He even said that when he was on The Bachelor (in Australia, so it barely counts), the producers had to really draw it out of him. Well, don\u2019t be a trouble for another set of producers.<\/p>\n
So far, Ben\u2019s biggest accomplishment has been in the looks department. Have I freeze-framed several bedroom surveillance camera shots of him in his undies? Maybe. Bailey says that every morning in the house, Ben goes for a little swim and then wraps himself in a towel, and it makes her hotter than Dunkin\u2019 coffee spilled right on your crotch. She also adds that West does this, too, but it doesn\u2019t hit the same way. Okay. Bailey needs to back the fuck up. As far as I\u2019m concerned, West has the perfect body for a man. (I know that West\u2019s mom reads these recaps, so Dr. Wilson, please skip to the next paragraph.) Yes, West may not have visible abdominal muscles. He might not be as lean as Carl, who is in the middle of prepping for the New York City marathon, but I would much rather spoon up against West than either of those guys. What West has are guns so big that Pete Hegseth tried to give him a job. He has a chest so broad and pillowy that I could fall asleep there even on the darkest night. He has a belly that is just enough to say, \u201cI like to stay fit and active, but I like to have fun. And are you saving those pizza crusts, or do you not eat them because the crust is my favorite part, and I will happily provide them with a good and caring home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben may not be as hot or as charismatic as West, but the one glimmer of hope I got is when he returns home from a night out with the boys and says to West in front of KJ and Kyle that Jesse asking for permission to kiss Ciara was absolutely insane. Yes, Ben! Spread that mess. He\u2019s referring to a scene that happened earlier when West, Jesse, Ben, and KJ are all chilling in the boys\u2019 room, and Jesse essentially asks West, \u201cYou don\u2019t mind if I make out with Ciara, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
West replies, \u201cIs that in the works?\u201d<\/p>\n
Jesse says, \u201cI don\u2019t know. If anything, I think it would be drunken for fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
West gives him a look that is so insane that he was just placed on a psychiatric hold for 72 hours. KJ says the question is wild and then West just says, \u201cWhatever.\u201d I don\u2019t think he even registers it as a real question until Ben drunkenly brings it up at night. In the kitchen, all the boys, minus Jesse and Carl, who weren\u2019t there, think it was an insane question. And of course it is. Jesse is going to make out with West\u2019s ex? Someone he clearly still has feelings for? Jesse wants to make out with her? Come on, bro. Jesse\u2019s justification is that he\u2019s looking for something serious, like Ciara, but West isn\u2019t, so West should move aside and let him have a shot. I\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s wild. Are there not enough girls in the house\/the Hamptons\/New York\/America\/the world\/the universe? You need to go after your bestie\u2019s ex?<\/p>\n
The crazy thing is, there is no way that Ciara would ever. Yes, she is letting Jesse get close, and just in this episode, they pose in the universal prom photo stance (boy behind, arms together in front), they cuddle in bed, and they laugh when Jesse makes a joke about her giving him a boner. It\u2019s cute, but it\u2019s giving brother vibes. It\u2019s giving Jesse is an honorary Bed Sore Sister vibes. It is not giving \u201cI\u2019m actually thinking of dating this man\u201d vibes. Also, Ciara would never because she hates the drama. Even if she was attracted to Jesse, I don\u2019t think she would bother because she doesn\u2019t want all of that attention from the house or to create any friction with West, with whom she does seem to be vibing. Also, as West says in his confession, he doesn\u2019t think Jesse can handle Ciara, that she would eat him alive. Based on the preview of the next episode, that seems like the most likely of all scenarios.<\/p>\n
In another instance of Lindsay doing her job, she gets West to tell her about Jesse\u2019s question and then says that Jesse was probably doing it in the room full of the single guys to mark his territory. I don\u2019t think Jesse is that mercenary, but thank you to Lindsay for adding that excellent reading to the table. After his chat with Lindsay, West feels like he needs to bring it up with Jesse. They\u2019re chilling in the pool float, and West, who likes conflict like Elphaba likes buckets of water, brings it up in the most gentle and passive-aggressive way possible. He first asks Jesse if it\u2019s all jokey or not. Jesse says that they\u2019re vibing, they\u2019ve always had a good friendship, and she\u2019s hot. West tells Jesse that all of the boys thought the question was crazy. Jesse tells him that it\u2019s been a long time since they dated, and West again says that everyone \u2014\u00a0but not him, no, never him \u2014\u00a0thought the question was inappropriate. West says, \u201cOn paper, you asked your boy if you could make out with his ex \u2026 most people in my position would think you were a weirdo for asking.\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2019s right. Most of the people do! Just as West is hiding his true feelings behind how other people would react, Jesse is hiding his true feelings behind jokes, like, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be funny if they made out?\u201d But it\u2019s something Jesse is really thinking about. In his confessional, Jesse says he wrote a song about a best friend that he\u2019s falling in love with, how he\u2019s always harbored these feelings, and now they\u2019re growing into something he can\u2019t ignore. The producers ask him if it\u2019s about Ciara, and he laughs and says it\u2019s not. What if it\u2019s about another friend, one he can always\u00a0be honest with, one who he jokes with all the time, the one he had instant chemistry with, the one he\u2019s shared a bed with, cuddled with, discussed plans of their future with. What if it\u2019s about a man with a perfect body who loves pizza crusts? What if Jesse\u2019s song is secretly about \u2026 someone else?<\/p>\n
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