In 2001 it was revealed that Queen Elizbabeth had gotten her first mobile phone. Today, we have learnt that Sarah Ferguson has gone two better and is currently juggling three burners.<\/p>\n
Such is the new life on the lam of the former Duchess of York \u2014 in what sounds like a depressing Bond spin-off, she is reportedly fretting about being tracked and is crashing at the vast homes of a couple of her cashed up ex-boyfriends.<\/p>\n
How does she look? \u201cDishevelled\u201d is the description one of Fergie\u2019s friend gave the Daily Mail\u2019s Alison Boshoff<\/a>.<\/p>\n MORE: Insider\u2019s expose Andrew\u2019s \u2018wasted\u2019 life<\/a><\/p>\n Adding to the chaotic energy is that Fergie is reportedly busy juggling multiple mobiles in her quest to stay hidden. <\/p>\n Said a friend: \u201cShe has three phones and she goes cycling through them because she\u2019s afraid that she might be being tracked. She is convinced that a lot of people wish her harm.<\/p>\n \u201cShe really is low. She seems nervy\u201d. <\/p>\n A friend told the Mail: \u201cShe complains a lot about being broke \u2013 although I don\u2019t know if that is broke in the sense that you or I would understand it. Her friends have been joking that they wouldn\u2019t be surprised to find her selling her old handbags on Vinted.\u201d<\/p>\n MORE: Shock: Andrew paid Queen Lodge with pepper<\/a><\/p>\n Luckily, Fergie has a secret weapon \u2014 or weapons. Despite everything, every Epstein revelation, every email exposing her years of industrial-grade sucking up to him and cadging cash from the convicted sex offender, somehow still has a network of \u201cdiscreet, wealthy friends\u201d willing to lend her the 0.1 per cent equivalent of a semi-inflated air mattress.<\/p>\n Per the Mail, the former duchess has been on a \u201csecret sofa-surfing world tour\u201d which has landed her in various places including what might be an enormous, thousand-year-old Tuscan castle.<\/p>\n From 1997 until the early naughties, Fergie dated Count Gaddo della Gherardesca, 20 years her senior, the only serious relationship she seems to have had in the decades since she and Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor divorced. <\/p>\n And it is to Count Gaddo\u2019s Castle of Castagneto Carducci that some think Fergie might have flown, an even more attractive option when you realise he makes his own wine too. (Denuding an aristorcrtaic cellar? I\u2019d say a stressed out Fergie is up to that particular challenge.)<\/p>\n The evidence? According to one friend, the erstwhile duchess has been \u201cstaying in some place which is like a castle now, and apparently there is an Italian count looking after her.\u201d<\/p>\n Others think a different octogenarian former boyfriend might have found himself on Fergie-sitting duty, the state of wine stores, unknown.<\/p>\n In the 80s, before a certain guffawing, toothy prince gallomped into her life, Fergie dated racing car driver and businessman Paddy McNally, now 88-years-old. The duo are reported to have stayed on good terms, handy for Fergs as McNally is worth more than $1.1 billion and has houses with a multitude of spare rooms in Wiltshire, St Tropez and Verbier. <\/p>\n There has been speculation that McNally has been putting up the one-woman crisis-machine that is Fergie at his Wiltshire property and others suggesting she was staying at his Swiss ski chalet.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not as if she has anything much waiting for her back in Britain. Her career? Torched to the ground and the ashes buried at sea. Her reputation? More toxic than the Fukushima catch-of-the-day. Her daughters? Not willing to take her in, reportedly.<\/p>\n However, people who might want a word with Fergie, and not just a rumpled FaceTime call from a Tuscan tasting room, are British investigators.<\/p>\n Andrew\u2019s sweat glands should be getting a refresher course right now after it was revealed that police are widening their inquiry into the former duke \u201cbeyond the offence of misconduct in public office\u201d and that he \u201cis set to be investigated over other potential corruption offences on top of a scoping inquiry into alleged sex trafficking\u201d, The Times <\/a>has reported. (Andrew has previously denied all wrongdoing.)<\/p>\n