Survivor of Hamas captivity Aviva Siegel spoke to Arutz Sheva-Israel National News about her new book, Survived to Tell, describing how the decision to document her experiences began while she was still being held in Gaza.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter just a couple of hours in Gaza, underneath the ground, I looked at everybody, and I said, \u2018At this minute we are becoming history of Eretz Israel,\u2019” Siegel recalls.<\/p>\n
She says that during captivity, she repeatedly told the other hostages that they would one day write a book about what they had endured. \u201cSome things happened, and I said, \u2018We have to remember. It\u2019s going to go into the book that we\u2019re going to write.\u2019 And when I said that, I really meant it.”<\/p>\n
At the same time, she admits that part of her wanted to leave the memories behind. She recounts a conversation with her husband, Keith Siegel, who is also held hostage.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter a couple of weeks, Keith looked at me, and he looked at Amit (Soussana), who was with us, and he said, \u2018What happened on that day at that house? I need to remember.\u2019 So I looked at him, and I said, \u2018Keith, why do you want to remember?\u2019 He said, \u2018I want to remember everything.\u2019 And I looked at him, and I said, \u2018I want to forget everything.\u2019”<\/p>\n
Siegel says she began writing after returning home, when one of her daughters left her a notebook.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe didn\u2019t even say, \u2018Write what happened.\u2019 She said, \u2018Just write whatever you feel like.\u2019”<\/p>\n
For nights, she debated whether to begin. The turning point came while visiting her daughter Ilan and her grandchildren. \u201cThe older one, who was nine, kept coming out of the room because he wanted to stay and listen to what I had to say. So that day I decided I\u2019m going to write a book for him.”<\/p>\n
Aviva returned from captivity after 51 days, while Keith remained in Gaza for 484 days.<\/p>\n
She says that speaking publicly about her experiences became part of her effort to secure the release of the remaining hostages, including her husband, Liri Albag, and Agam Berger.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just couldn\u2019t handle that they were going to be there one more minute,” she says. \u201cI really did everything I could. If anybody saw my calendar, it was from seven in the morning until twelve at night. I used to talk and talk and talk in different places, on the news all over the world, wherever somebody would listen to me.”<\/p>\n
Throughout the interview, Siegel speaks about the abuse she witnesses in captivity, including sexual violence.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t really care what other people thought,” she says regarding reactions to her testimony. \u201cI just knew that I could not keep quiet, that I had to tell everybody the truth.”<\/p>\n
She describes watching what happens to the young women held alongside her and to her husband.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe worst moments of mine were when they did bad things to Keith and the girls,” she says. \u201cI remember myself saying, \u2018Let them do everything to me, but don\u2019t touch them.\u2019”<\/p>\n
Siegel says the details included in the book are written deliberately so that future generations will understand what happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the book, I really went into details because I wanted my grandchildren and everybody that reads the book to really, really understand what happened,” she said. \u201cWhat happened to me as a human being, and what happened to Keith and to the girls.”<\/p>\n
Asked what she hopes readers will take from the book, Siegel says it serves several purposes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think it\u2019s everything together,” she said. \u201cFirst of all, for my family and for my grandchildren to know what their grandparents went through.”<\/p>\n
She also describes the act of writing as a personal victory.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor me, it\u2019s victory to say, \u2018I survived. I\u2019m here to tell. I\u2019m here to tell you and to tell the next generation.\u2019”<\/p>\n
Siegel says she recently told Keith that people will still be reading the book centuries from now.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy book is going to be read in 200 years\u2019 time, and people in 200 years\u2019 time will understand what we went through because of this book.”<\/p>\n
She adds that writing the book also helps her cope with the memories.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can leave some of the stories aside and put them there in the book, but I don\u2019t have to feel them all the time.”<\/p>\n
Siegel says she believes Israeli society must continue speaking openly about the events of October 7 and the aftermath.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor us to really recover, we need to talk about it. We need to talk about it again. We need to understand it,” she said.<\/p>\n
She notes that groups have already invited her to discuss the book after reading it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just want people to understand what somebody 62 years old, who gets kidnapped in pyjamas and taken from my home, went through.”<\/p>\n
Asked whether she spends time thinking about Hamas or revenge, Siegel says that is not where her focus lies.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople ask me, \u2018Are you angry with them? Do you want them to be killed?\u2019 I don\u2019t even think about that,” she said. \u201cI feel like I\u2019m home. He came home.”<\/p>\n
Most of the book, she explains, was completed before Keith\u2019s return. \u201cThe book was nearly finished before Keith came home,” she said. \u201cBut when Keith came home, I couldn\u2019t write. I just couldn\u2019t.”<\/p>\n
She says she made an agreement with herself never to force the writing process. \u201cI needed a pen that writes itself,” she said. \u201cI had to wait until I was ready.”<\/p>\n
Asked how she and her family are coping today, Siegel says recovery is still ongoing. \u201cI want to be good, and I want to tell you that it\u2019s good. I don\u2019t want to just say that because I don\u2019t really feel that yet,” she said.<\/p>\n
She describes the lasting effect her ordeal had on her family. \u201cI see my kids who haven\u2019t gone back to their jobs, and they still don\u2019t know how to go back,” she said. \u201cIt really breaks my heart.”<\/p>\n
She also speaks about the impact on her grandchildren. \u201cThey can cry until today about what we went through, and they\u2019re young,” she said. \u201cI think we\u2019re still recovering as a family, and I don\u2019t know how long it will take before I\u2019ll be able to say to everybody, \u2018I\u2019m feeling good. Everything\u2019s okay.\u2019”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Survivor of Hamas captivity Aviva Siegel spoke to Arutz Sheva-Israel National News about her new book, Survived to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":441283,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[54825,51,29473,85,46,43,73240,22103],"class_list":["post-441282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-israel","tag-captivity","tag-hamas","tag-hostages-in-gaza","tag-il","tag-israel","tag-news","tag-october-7th","tag-swords-of-iron"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441282\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/441283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}