Handler wrote in the caption.<\/a> \u201cIf you want to vacation with me, these are the rules.\u201d<\/p>\nIn the open letter, Handler shared several strict rules to which she called on her nieces and nephews \u2014 the children of Olga, likely referring to her sister-in-law, and sister Simone \u2014 to follow in order to vacation with her. The conditions included treating her employees with respect, refraining from over-consuming alcohol, cleaning up after themselves, staying off their phones during family time and treating their mothers with respect. <\/p>\n
\u201cOur family is dysfunctional, and that is what families are. What we need to work on, however, is manners,\u201d Handler wrote in the open letter. \u201cThere was a definite shortfall of manners on this trip, and I left this trip feeling embarrassed and taken advantage of.\u201d <\/p>\n
In the letter, Handler also impressed on her eight nieces and nephews that they need to come to vacations \u201cwith an attitude of contribution \u2014 not one of taking.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI want you all to know that going away with me on these trips is not guaranteed. It is a choice I make and it is expensive,\u201d Handler wrote. \u201cA contribution does not mean financial. It means: What sort of pleasantness are you planning to bring on vacation? It is not a free-for-all.\u201d <\/p>\n
In the letter\u2019s conclusion, Handler underscored that she loves her family members, but wants to \u201csee you do better, and I promise to do better too.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need you to thank me all day. I need you to show respect to the situation and appreciate it,\u201d Handler said. \u201cI don\u2019t care how much our family annoys you. It\u2019s the only one we\u2019ve got, and we are stuck together for life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many social media users praised Handler\u2019s rules along with her honesty toward her family members. In one comment, an Instagram user said, \u201csometimes you need to spell it out!\u201d <\/p>\n
Another person commented that they \u201cagree with everything you said\u2026 maybe we need to plaster your letter all over the place all over the place.\u201d<\/p>\n
Several others volunteered to vacation with the star, joking that they would easily follow the set of conditions. <\/p>\n
However, others were not as amused. Some felt it unnecessary to share the sentiments with the public. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhile I tremendously appreciate that you value and respect both your staff and your family, I\u2019m not 100% sure you needed to call out your family publicly like that,\u201d one social media user wrote. \u201cIt\u2019s not wrong to call them out on that behavior \u2014 I would do the same. Exact. Thing. However, I don\u2019t think they needed to be publicly called out in front of all your followers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another Instagram user wrote that it\u2019s \u201cnever a kind thing to shame people publicly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis post was for you, to get acclaim from your fans. It was not something that was intended to make your family relations better,\u201d the social media user wrote. <\/p>\n
In her 2025 essay featuring the letter, Handler said while it wasn\u2019t immediately embraced by her family members, it did bring them closer together. <\/p>\n
Handler had taken a trip to Martha\u2019s Vineyard with her family members during the COVID-19 era and was considering an additional trip to Maine. She decided to make the Maine trip adults-only, and she felt compelled to send her nieces and nephews a message based on the behavior she had previously observed, Handler wrote in her book. <\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve always wanted to show them how to be generous and kind, not only to the people they love, but to strangers. During our Vineyard vacation, I\u2019d realized that they were acting in ways that didn\u2019t meet these standards,\u201d the comedian wrote. \u201cI knew I had to address it, but I had to do it with love and grace instead of my old behavior of yelling, chastising, or threatening.\u201d <\/p>\n
She said her family was better for it in the long run.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was learning that just like my experience in therapy, change in a family dynamic doesn\u2019t happen in an instant; it happens slowly and incrementally over time, until it sticks,\u201d Hander wrote. \u201cI had set a boundary with them, and while the initial reaction was shock, what grew out of it was a mutual respect and appreciation.\u201d<\/p>\n