When ordinary people imagine the unthinkable<\/p>\n
Khachatryan explains that most people are fundamentally prosocial \u2014 they follow social norms and avoid violating other people\u2019s rights. But even prosocial individuals may imagine harming or killing someone in moments of extreme anger.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s usually more in the moment,\u201d Khachatryan says. \u201cIt depends on whether you have a problem with impulsivity.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Even then, many people are capable of stepping back, considering their personal values and consequences for themselves and their families and changing their minds. Whether a person follows through often depends on their access to the means of committing a crime.<\/p>\n
Lack of purpose in life or low self-esteem can also push individuals without a criminal record toward violence.<\/p>\n
\u201cLow self-esteem can have a profound effect on people and lead them to commit serious violence, especially when they are younger, juveniles,\u201d Khachatryan says. \u201c[It] leads to irrational thoughts of how they will feel more worthy.\u201d<\/p>\n
When love turns into codependency and despair<\/p>\n
\u201cEat Pray Love Made Me Do It,\u201d published in 2006, launched Gilbert into literary stardom. The memoir \u2014 chronicling her year-long journey of self-discovery around the world, ending with a fairy-tale love story \u2014 was translated into more than 30 languages and sold more than 12 million copies worldwide. In 2010, it was adapted into a romantic drama starring Julia Roberts.<\/p>\n
But in 2016, Gilbert left her second husband \u2014 whom she had met during her \u201cEat Pray Love\u201d adventures \u2014 after learning of Elias\u2019 terminal diagnosis. The two women confessed their romantic feelings and chose to spend Elias\u2019 final months together.<\/p>\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/100325_AS_-Norair_Khachatryan_006.jpg\")
Extreme anger mixed with impulsivity, low self-esteem and lack of purpose can turn prosocial people into killers, says Norair Khachatryan, Northeastern\u2019s assistant teaching professor of criminology and criminal justice. Photo by Alyssa Stone\/Northeastern University<\/p>\n
As Elias\u2019 cancer progressed, their relationship spiraled. Elias slipped back into active addiction, which Gilbert, addicted to love and sex instead of substances, was facilitating.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a kind of collision of both of our rock bottoms,\u201d Gilbert says. \u201cIf the most degraded version of Rayya was a low-bottom opioid and cocaine addict who became very manipulative and abusive and quite terrifying for me to live with, the lowest version of myself \u2026 is an enabler who has no boundaries, who will do absolutely anything to be loved, who will pay for everything, who will just constantly try to be pleasing, who will allow herself to be abused.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eventually, she devised a way out of their \u201cunmanageable\u201d dynamic: she would give Elias sleeping pills and administer a lethal dose of fentanyl patches.<\/p>\n
The psychology of moral disengagement<\/p>\n
People in all walks of life can rationalize harmful acts, Khachatryan says, through a process known as moral disengagement.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven committing a horrible act they feel like it serves the society,\u201d he says.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Some may justify killing abortion providers, for example, by framing the act as morally right.<\/p>\n
Gilbert herself told The Times that her thoughts of killing Elias brought her relief.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can end this nightmare right now. All you have to do is kill her, and there\u2019s nothing morally wrong with doing that because she\u2019s already dying,\u201d she says. \u201cThere was even a part of me that thought, if the real Rayya were here, she would hate this version of herself and she would be like, \u2018Kill that junkie!\u2019 But that was a minor justification. The real thing was, \u2018You can kill her and in an hour she will be dead and you can have your life back \u2014 you can be free.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Childhood experiences can also shape how people view violence. For example, when children see their father abuse their mother and achieve his goals through violence, Khachatryan says, they may learn that violence is a way to achieve what they want.<\/p>\n
Severe neglect and abuse, he says, can produce anti-social attitudes, anger and a sense of injustice in one\u2019s immediate circle or society and a desire to inflict pain and destruction.<\/p>\n
A newer driver of violence is online radicalization. Vulnerable individuals can embrace violent ideologies, consuming social media content and reading forums. But often, Khachatryan says people susceptible to radicalization have already been feeling empty or lacking purpose, making them receptive to a \u201cworthy cause to fight for.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cIn war, you get soldiers who do horrible things \u2026 commit crimes and sexual assault on a widespread basis just because their commanders tell them, \u2018We want you to destroy this population,\u2019\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
When thoughts become crimes<\/p>\n
Thinking about murder is not a crime in itself, Khachatryan says. But intervention becomes crucial if those thoughts are shared.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf that idea is communicated to someone else, that\u2019s a good time for intervention,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
A prosocial person can often regain perspective and realize how illogical his or her thoughts were when someone intervenes and helps them reflect on their ideas and consequences.<\/p>\n
But once a person takes concrete steps such as paying someone for a murder or buying a specific weapon, Khachatryan says, they may face criminal charges or be civilly committed to psychiatric care.<\/p>\n
Gilbert never crossed the line between thought and action. Instead, she reached out for help from friends and left Elias in their care.\u00a0<\/p>\n
In the years after Elias\u2019 death, Gilbert confronted her sex and love addiction, processed their relationship and eventually decided to write openly about it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI was interested in the truth and I was interested in showing what codependency and sex and love addiction can lead a person into. Even a person who presents as somebody who\u2019s got it all together, which is how I was out there in the world presenting,\u201d she told NPR. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Elizabeth Gilbert, best known for her memoir \u201cEat Pray Love,\u201d has revealed a far darker side of her…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":59689,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[44328,44329,146,85,46,14218,44330,44331,20562,3897,44332],"class_list":["post-59688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-criminology","tag-criminology-and-criminal-justice","tag-entertainment","tag-il","tag-israel","tag-memoir","tag-moral-implications","tag-murder","tag-social-norms","tag-violence","tag-violent-crimes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=59688"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59688\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/59689"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=59688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=59688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/il\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=59688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}