Pat Dettman was at a football long snapping camp in Las Vegas with his son, Brock, in January when he first experienced the symptoms.
“I got up to get a ball, and my right knee kind of buckled, and I fell,” he recalled. “Of course, my wife and daughters were there and had a good chuckle because their dad looked uncoordinated and fell. We just chalked it up to being old and clumsy.”
He fell a few more times in the following months, but it wasn’t until April that Pat began to suspect something was wrong. He set a doctor’s appointment for himself — which, his wife Lorraine joked, “never happens.”
“I don’t know what (it is) about men, but men don’t want to go to the doctor,” she laughed.
That doctor’s visit led to a follow-up with a neurologist. And in late August, Pat was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease.
ALS destroys motor neurons in the brain and spinal cord, which communicate with the body’s muscles to control movement. There is no known cure. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, most people with ALS die from respiratory failure within three to five years after first symptoms, and about one in 10 people survives for over a decade.
Casey Lewis, Pat’s friend of 12 years, remembered the heyday of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge in 2014. Lewis, Pat and some other friends and family members participated, recording a video of themselves dumping ice and frigid water on their heads as part of the viral trend to spread awareness about the degenerative neurological disease.
“Nobody even knew what it was, but it was kind of the thing to do,” Lewis said. “When he was diagnosed, we knew exactly what it was. It’s the most ruthless, thieving, unfortunate disease there is out there, that just robs you of everything.”
But that hasn’t stopped Pat from continuing his passion for assistant coaching football at Wasatch High School. Pat has driven a golf cart around the field all season, offering advice to players, repairing helmets and setting up equipment with the other equipment managers.
“He thought about how he can make everything better for the boys … from equipment to events to celebrating little accomplishments in their personal lives to highlighting them on social media,” said head coach Derik Bringhurst.
Pat Dettman at a Wasatch High School football game. Credit: Photo courtesy of Pat Dettman
Lewis recalled a moment two years ago when a student athlete was injured during a game. Tearing up, Pat helped the student off the ground as EMTs rushed to help him.
“Pat is 6-foot-4, 375 pounds, but he’s just a big, giant teddy bear,” Lewis said. “I remember a couple behind me, they were like, ‘Holy cow. Look at that big, giant guy. He’s so emotional about this. It must be bad.’ But the reality of it was that Pat just wanted to make sure this young man was comfortable and had a good experience.”
An army of friends and local businesses, donating time, labor and funds, backed the Dettmans when they remodeled their home for wheelchair accessibility, beginning in September and finishing earlier this month.
A week before moving back in, a power wheelchair the family ordered for Pat arrived. Already, he has minimal mobility in his legs. Lorraine said the disease’s progression has been faster than she expected.
Lorraine recalled the evening they moved back into their remodeled home with the help of friends, neighbors and church members. She had gotten Pat to bed when she went to the bathroom and found an envelope of money had been slipped behind the sink faucet, with no indication of who had left it.
Bringhurst said he wasn’t surprised that so many people have rallied behind Pat since his diagnosis because he’s touched so many people through his involvement in the football program.
The latest act of kindness came from Shane Clegg, owner of Mountainland Auto Sales. When Lewis came in to inquire about purchasing a wheelchair-accessible van for the family, Clegg went ahead and ordered an all-wheel drive Toyota Sienna, complete with a hydraulic ramp.
“I just wanted to help. I don’t know Pat personally really well,” Clegg explained.
Mountainland Auto Sales has launched a GoFundMe to pay for the van’s $82,000 price tag. Mountainland Auto Sales will be contributing $5,000 to the van’s cost and will help cover any deficits in funding.
“Sometimes I feel like, ‘Do we deserve all this?’ People are just so kind and giving. We just feel humbled at all the generosity that people have given us,” Lorraine said. “We just take it one day at a time and try to make the best of little things. We do cry a lot, but we also are able to laugh. And laughter gets us through it.”
In fact, uncontrollable laughter and crying are two of Pat’s symptoms.
“I’ve told people the last three or four months that I’ve hugged people more, I’ve said, ‘I love you more,’ and I’ve cried more than my whole life combined,” he said. “I think it’s changed my process this time of year, to be more centered in family and centered in relationships. Presents and all those things are not as important. It’s just people coming over to visit or sending a text, just reaching out in some way to let them know that they’re thinking of you and your family.”
Related Stories