Whenever I visited my grandmother, Laura, at her senior-living community, I felt like a celebrity. She seemed to know everyone, and was so loved — the folks there were all too happy to tell me so.
We often played phone tag due to her busy schedule, which was often packed with social events and parties. Even at her 100th birthday, which took place during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, she was surrounded by love.
She had the slowest drive-by birthday party I’ve ever seen — horns were honking, and she was waving from her home, delighted, as friends paraded by her apartment in their cars to celebrate her.
Her warmth and generosity didn’t stem from wealth but from a deeply kind heart. Even on her deathbed, she prioritized asking about my husband’s job and my friendships, “Forget about me, how are you?”
My grandmother maintained an extensive social circle right up until her passing at the age of 101 — and observing her life taught me invaluable lessons about community and friendship that I hope to carry with me as I age.
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Instead of fearing technology, come at it with curiosity — and use it for connection
While many of her peers (including my grandfather) shied away from social media, computers, and smartphones as they got older, Laura wanted to understand everything.
And by becoming as tech-savvy as she could, she was able to better keep in touch with everyone. She really relished the chance to see photos and learn life updates about friends and family on Facebook.
It’s worth embracing some technology rather than never learning how to use it because it’s “too late.”
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Sure, it didn’t always click; she accidentally had two Facebook accounts — and one of them stated she worked at a wings restaurant she loved, with a hilarious note next to it saying “I never worked there.” However, she approached all things digital with curiosity and excitement.
FaceTime was another advent she embraced that allowed her to keep in contact with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren regularly. Forget the landline, she was thrilled to see us all this way.
At 40, I often feel “old” when I hear about new technology, but I try to adopt my grandmother’s approach of wonder and use it to stay in touch with loved ones.
It’s definitely come in handy for maintaining my close circle of five childhood friends who live on a different coast.
Your social life can flourish when you take on a leadership role
One cherished memory is visiting my grandma as she planned the annual square dance for her senior community. Firmly committed, she approached the task with organized zeal, working through her to-do list leading up to the big event.
From preparing her famous onion dip to sending out all the invites, people trusted Laura would make it a success — and this applied to any gathering she planned throughout her life.
Watching her do this inspired me to take an active leadership role in my social circles. After all, many crave social interactions and frequent gatherings, but it takes a leader to actually make them happen.
From organizing wine nights with new mom friends to serving as my sorority’s social chair in college, I find this to be a rewarding experience, just as she did.
As you get older, keep making younger friends
My grandmother planned so many events and social gatherings throughout her life.
Dyana Lederman
Though Laura valued long-standing friendships that she established as a kid, she always stayed open to new connections.
For many years, she lived in a 50+ community, and whenever people (often decades younger) moved in, Laura was sure to show up with a housewarming gift and extend a warm welcome.
Even as many of her older friends passed away — a sad fact of life — my grandmother continued attending social events, from language lessons to salsa classes, for as long as she could.
This allowed her to consistently meet and befriend people from other generations. Aside from adding variety to her social circles, many of these younger friends lent a helpful hand to my grandmother over time, like taking out her garbage cans when she physically no longer could.
All of her cross-generational friendships have been especially inspiring to me as an “older parent.” I had my first child at 37 and am expecting my second in my 40s. Yet, through social groups, I’ve fostered friendships with younger moms, welcoming their energy and perspectives.
All in all, my grandma exemplified the saying “age is just a number,” and she lived that truth every day of her life.