Judge Lex De Jong drew upon his specialty in family law, his work with schools and his own life experiences to explain to Jeannie she was as precious as a young seedling.
Family Court Judge Lex De Jong drew upon his specialty in family law, his work with schools and his own life experiences to explain to a young child caught in conflict between her parents she was as precious as a young seedling. Photo / 123rf
“When I think about what is in your welfare and best interests, that reminds me of planting a precious kōwhai seedling.
“I have to plant you somewhere where you will be safe, where you will be loved and protected, where someone can keep an eye on you to make sure you get everything you need to thrive and blossom until you are old enough to look after yourself.
“I want you to be the best kōwhai tree possible,” Judge De Jong said in issuing a final parenting order in October 2025.
The court was persuaded to rule in favour of Jeannie’s dad.
One in tens of thousands of cases
It was one of 81,605 cases lodged in the court in the past five years under the guardianship category which includes care arrangements, custody and access, and child support.
According to Ministry of Justice data, 49,195 of those cases in the five years to June this year, were granted – meaning a judge issued a corresponding court order.
The remainder were either dismissed or struck out, lapsed, or were withdrawn or discontinued.
The total number of cases lodged in the Family Court last year was 3% higher than five years earlier and 4.8% higher than a decade ago. Photo/123rf
Of the 63,114 applications lodged in the court in the past year (2024-25), 26% were guardianship cases.
The total number of cases was 3% higher than five years earlier and 4.8% higher than a decade ago.
‘Chatty and happy boy’
Tobias*, a chatty and happy boy who was 5 when his parents were no longer able to agree on who he should live with, was among the more recent cases.
In that case custody went to his mother.
Through interviews with child specialists Tobias expressed his love for both his mum and dad, and how he wanted to have equal time with them.
“This would obviously be in his best interests,” Judge Rachel Paul said.
After weighing up background factors, including that Tobias had a younger brother he adored, Judge Paul was satisfied it was in Tobias’ welfare and best interests to live with his mother primarily.
Principal Family Court Judge Jacquelyn Moran says in all proceedings where the care of children is at issue their welfare and best interests is the first and paramount consideration.
But, Family Court cases are often complex and take time to resolve, especially when they involve disputes about the care of children.
Often there are no “winners” and even the children remain unhappy.
‘Not listened to’
Jennifer* told NZME she feels like she wasn’t listened to.
The now 16-year-old says she was afraid of her dad, and what he might do to her, her mother and younger brother.
In her opinion, the Family Court failed in its role to protect her, through insisting on access rights.
She feels if she’d been able to vouch for herself earlier on, instead of lawyers and psychologists calling the shots, things might have worked out better in her favour.
“I think the fact that kids are considered a really vulnerable group, but they aren’t always protected, is really questionable.”
Teenager Jennifer* is critical of the Family Court system she says let her and her brother down when it granted their estranged father access rights neither wanted. Photo / 123rf
She says from her discussions with others going through similar experiences, she does not think her situation is exceptional.
According to one decision a teen went so far as to refuse to board a plane, prompting a court order to put him on one, by force if necessary.
The Family Court judge determined in November 2024 that the teenager should live with his father overseas, believing that was what the young man wanted.
But as time went on, the teen changed his mind.
When it was time to leave the country, he refused to get into his mother’s car and even ran away from home for a time.
In February, a second Family Court judge agreed the teenager should live with his father, issuing a court order to put him on the plane.
Children’s views ‘must be considered’
Judge Moran says judges understand that children are innocent and haven’t been asked to be put in the situations in which they find themselves.
Judges must also seek sustainable solutions that address the issues after applying and interpreting laws written by Parliament, and the evidence before them in court.
The law says children’s views must be considered and decisions made to ensure appropriate arrangements are in place for their guardianship and care.
Principal Family Court Judge Jacquelyn Moran says judges understand that children are innocent and haven’t been asked to be put in the situations in which they find themselves. Photo / Ministry of Justice
“Children must be given reasonable opportunities to participate in any decisions affecting them and to express views on matters that affect them,” Judge Moran says.
“That can be either directly to a meeting with the judge or through a representative such as a lawyer for the child.”
The Family Court, which is a division of the District Court, hears cases across a broad range of topics including family proceedings, family violence, adoptions, child support, marriage dissolution, estates, guardianship, applications under the Hague Convention, Oranga Tamariki, property, substance addiction and mental health, particularly applications for compulsory treatment orders under the Mental Health Act.
Judge Moran is the country’s fifth Principal Family Court judge and the first woman appointed to the role since the court was established in 1981.
She says the majority of cases heard in the Family Court are applications lodged under the Care of Children Act, which outlines that a child must be protected from all forms of violence.
Judge Moran says family violence reaches into every corner of New Zealand society, and Family Court judges regularly see the aftermath.
She says it’s displayed in people from all walks of life, who come to court seeking help, intervention and sometimes protection in their broken relationships.
Young migrant faces family breakdown
Jennifer was born overseas, in a country she describes as having a traditional, patriarchal culture.
She and her family arrived in New Zealand when she was a young child.
When the parents separated Jennifer and her brother were raised by their mum for almost eight years, until she re-married.
She claims the abuse before her father left included violence. When Jennifer’s mum re-married, her dad re-appeared, seeking access rights.
Jennifer says her mother succeeded in getting a protection order, which her estranged father then opposed, but they did not have the financial means to challenge it.
She tried, unsuccessfully, to apply for her own protection order, at first unaware she could even do that.
The application failed for various reasons, including the lack of evidence to prove her father remains a threat.
Finally through some ‘bad years’
Jennifer, now independent but still living with her mum, has come through what she describes as some bad years but is now worried for her younger brother she says has been “forced” to meet their biological father, despite not wanting to.
“My brother has been put through the wringer with the lawyers and the court-appointed psychologist, who have made him spend time with his father whom he has no relationship with.
Jennifer claims the abuse before her father left included violence. Photo / 123rf
“He is forced to attend supervised sessions with him under the guise of ‘having a relationship with his father’ even though he views this man as a stranger in his life.”
She claims it has caused her brother “immense distress”.
When asked what she felt was wrong with the Family Court system, and what needs to change, she says more needs to be done to encourage and enable young people to speak for themselves.
Heard, understood, respected
Judge Moran says it is “vitally important” that people leave the court feeling heard, understood and respected, and that they have had a fair hearing even though they may not necessarily agree with the outcome.
“Using clear, accessible language helps people of all ages to understand court decisions, and it’s not uncommon in the Family Court for judges to directly address children or young people in their judgments, or to include a letter to a young person in addition to the judgment, as it is important that they understand how the judge reached their decision.”
Although the Family Court is essentially a private forum, because of the sensitive nature of matters before it, it remains part of the justice system.
Therefore, decisions must be as open to the public as possible so that the court can be accountable.
Disputes over decisions are not uncommon.
Some succeed on appeal, including a high-profile dispute over a Family Court decision that went to the High Court in 2023.
In 2015, Family Court Judge Peter Callinicos ruled in favour of a woman’s ex-husband after the couple’s separation agreement landed in court.
Justice Rebecca Ellis quashed the decision when she found the judge in the lower court had been unfair.
The higher court ruled the primary cause of the unfairness was the judge’s mistaken beliefs which pervaded and tainted the hearing.
Family Court Judge Peter Callinicos. Photo / Warren Buckland
Justice Ellis also found the judge’s treatment of the woman during the trial was unfair.
Other times, appeals are thrown out.
‘Fractious relationship’
Jeremy* was a newborn in November 2017 when his mum made an urgent application to the Family Court for a parenting order.
She had earlier separated from Jeremy’s father after a “fractious relationship“.
The order was granted, giving the mum day-to-day care of Jeremy, while his dad was allowed supervised contact.
Later, he left town.
In 2019, a new interim parenting order allowed him contact every third weekend, near the child’s hometown, and under the supervision of Jeremy’s paternal grandmother.
Interactions between the parents became increasingly poor. They struggled to co-operate over the parenting and care arrangements for Jeremy, before a final parenting order in 2023.
The child’s paternal grandmother was to oversee visits with the father, but the mother had earlier expressed “no confidence” in the grandmother’s management of contact.
They in turn did not trust the mother’s motivations, and saw her as “fixated” on limiting contact to exclude the father’s family from Jeremy’s life.
Fast forward two more years, to a High Court decision dismissing a general appeal brought by Jeremy’s mother against the lower court’s decisions.
Justice Tracey Walker said in her judgment, when assessing the background and how increasingly the parents had drawn swords, that none of their views about the other were in the child’s best interests.
Anger spills over
There have been instances of violence related to Family Court matters, and against lawyers.
In August 2024 Nelson man Phillip Mant held two people at gunpoint for hours and threatened to blow up a woman with a homemade bomb. The Crown said he was angry with the outcome of a Family Court matter. Photo / Stuff
Various reports have highlighted physical assaults, threats and “systems abuse” or litigant abuse as experienced by victims within and outside of court proceedings.
In August 2024 Nelson man Phillip Mant held two people at gunpoint for hours and threatened to blow up a woman with a homemade bomb.
In the months leading up to the incident, Mant hand-wrote hundreds of pages of notes venting his anger over a recent Family Court matter.
At his sentencing in the Nelson District Court in July 2025, Crown prosecutor Sophie O’Donaghue said Mant had created a “volatile” hostage situation involving a “powerless, terrified female” because he was angry with the outcome of a Family Court matter.
She said the armed home invasion amounted to vigilante action to defy the court and take the law into his own hands.
‘Thought he would die’
Family lawyer Brintyn Smith thought he would die during a savage attack in a lift at the Whangārei Court House in March 2023.
He was left with multiple injuries in the attack described by the judge who sentenced the assailant as an “ambush”.
In a video released in 2024 by the New Zealand Law Society, Smith spoke haltingly of the events after he arrived at court for what he thought would be a regular morning.
Litigant abuse is where perpetrators use the court system itself to prolong proceedings to harass, annoy, harm or psychologically abuse the other party.
The Victims of Family Violence (Strengthening Legal Protections) Legislation Act (2025) which comes into force on February 17, 2026 will provide courts with a new tool to address the tactic by placing restrictions on the abusive party’s ability to take further steps in proceedings.
The Family Court is among others to have come under fire for increasingly lengthy delays in getting matters before a judge.
Family lawyer Brintyn Smith was attacked in a lift at the Whangārei Court House in March 2023. Photo / NZ Law Society
Nelson barrister John Sandston blamed the backlog on increasing numbers of people representing themselves.
Judge Moran says the number of people self-representing in the Family Court is increasing, and while it can slow progress, they are entitled to be heard.
She says judges are very mindful of their circumstances and the challenges they face.
“There is often support available to self-litigants from social agencies or iwi providers and Family Court Navigators, Kaiārahi, can facilitate this contact or provide support in a number of other ways.”
Backlogs would also be targeted by a programme called Te Au Reka – a joint initiative of the Ministry of Justice and the judiciary to streamline the heavily paper-based administration of cases.
Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says the Family Court would see it first, leading to a “dramatic impact” in terms of the general timeliness of the process.
At age 16, Jennifer already has career goals, but they don’t include law.
She’s more interested in politics because that’s where she feels she can make more of a difference.
*Names are fictionalised to protect the privacy of family and young people, and to comply with statutory rules around reporting Family Court matters.
Tracy Neal is a Nelson-based Open Justice reporter at NZME. She was previously RNZ’s regional reporter in Nelson-Marlborough and has covered general news, including court and local government for the Nelson Mail.