Gone is the anxiety about sleeping and feeding. Instead she’s felt far more at ease right from the moment she and Barry brought Mackay home.
“It’s such a different experience – I was able to relax and enjoy it,” Heather enthuses. “Even if she cried for four hours straight in the night, I knew it wasn’t going to last forever.”
That confidence, she says, has been life-changing.
Heather felt far more at ease right from the moment she and Barry brought Mackay home. Photo / Babiche Martens
“Last year, I really learned to take things in my stride,” she explains. “It’s funny – I’ve actually had more time to do things I love with two children than I ever did with one. I’ve had weekends away, I’ve been learning to surf and I think it’s because I’ve finally got the juggle down. You just know what you’re doing now.”
Heather is chatting with the Weekly by phone from her bach in the Coromandel, where she’s spent the holidays with veteran political journalist Barry, Iggy and Mackay, with her mum Elizabeth, plus her two brothers and their families. After a big year, the five-week break was just the tonic she needed, and she’s relished the chance to slow down and relax with the people she loves. Heather admits there isn’t a lot of downtime with two little ones. Books and long lunches have been traded for buckets, spades and boogie boards.
“It’s been lovely,” she tells. “The weather’s been great and we’ve just done the usual things you do over summer. We’ve had lots of barbecues, done lots of swimming and lots of trying to surf. Oh, I’ve done a hell of a lot of playing with the kids – I don’t think I’ve ever built so many sandcastles!”
And with little Mackay turning one on January 15, the break has given Heather time to reflect on the year that’s been and soak in the time with her happy little family. Mackay is crawling everywhere and standing up on her own – Heather knows her first steps won’t be far off.
“She’s starting to talk, too. She can say ‘hi there’ and ‘Iggy’. It’s very cute.”
Heather is happy to report that life right now feels settled and happy. Photo / Babiche Martens
Mackay, says her mum, has been a dream baby and she and Barry, who is also dad to five adult children, still can’t quite believe their luck.
“She has slept through the night from the age of 3 months and she eats anything you put in front of her,” she marvels. “And now it’s great because we can use her to encourage Iggy to eat things he won’t eat. We’ll say, ‘Look, baby loves cheese, try the cheese’ and off he goes.”
Iggy has taken big brotherhood in his stride. Heather says Iggy is a kind boy “with a lot of energy!”
She adds, “He’s a bolter, he’ll take off and we have to chase him. He’s very full-on. But he’s also extremely sweet and he’s been nothing but kind to his baby sister. He’s loved her, cuddled her and looked after her.”
And Heather is happy to report that life right now feels settled and happy – a welcome change after some rocky years. In 2023, Barry underwent emergency open heart surgery, with post-operative complications leaving him hospitalised for three months. The couple has endured periods living in different cities and has moved house several times, including relocating from Wellington to Auckland.
“So, comparatively speaking, I have to say that even though life is super busy and challenging, and all that with fulltime jobs and little kids, compared to moving cities and houses, and husbands nearly dying, it’s pretty damn okay!” she tells.
The household functions well with support from a nanny and Heather’s devoted mum. Photo / Babiche Martens
In a typical week when the couple is back at work, they have their routine down to a fine art. With support from a nanny and Heather’s devoted mum – or Oumie as the kids call their South African grandma – Heather says the household functions well. On a good day, Heather will even fit in a session at the gym, something she’s doing her best to prioritise. She jokes that she’d dreamed of “getting shredded” for this summer, but didn’t quite get there.
“It’s still my goal, though. I want abs. I want muscles!”
And as Heather journeys through her early forties, she says this decade is shaping up to be the best yet. Friends had told her that turning 40 was something to celebrate and now she can see why.
“A friend of mine said your forties are a real awakening for women, particularly for women who have children, because all of a sudden you start to know yourself in a way that you haven’t before. And lots of people told me that it is around this age that you stop apologising for who you are – and that has 100% happened. I’m very honest about who I am – all of my flaws, but also the good stuff as well.”
Heather knows it sounds a bit New Age, but she’s learned to be kinder to herself.
She explains, “I’m not perfect, no one is, but I’m trying to celebrate the good stuff a bit more. This stage of life is about really not giving quite as many shits as before. You can’t actually change who you are anyway, so you might as well embrace it.”
Last year, Heather was both amazed and thrilled to take home the top radio honour at the NZ Radio & Podcast Awards in Auckland, where she was awarded the Sir Paul Holmes Broadcaster of the Year trophy. The accolade meant a great deal, she says, particularly because it bears the name of one of broadcasting’s greats.
Heather says she’s found a calm, mindful balance between home and career. Photo / Babiche Martens
“I count myself very lucky to have met him and to have had him impart some of his wisdom on me,” Heather says. “For that reason alone, receiving an award that carries his name feels incredibly special. But it’s also special when you think about the depth of talent we have in radio in this country. Radio in New Zealand is incredibly healthy and stacked with people who could hold their own anywhere in the world. To be recognised among that group… Sometimes I still sit there and think, ‘Did that really happen?’”
Receiving the award fresh from maternity leave made the moment even sweeter. Heather admits that, like many mothers, taking three months off with baby Mackay knocked her confidence.
“There was definitely that fear of, ‘Can I still do this job?’” she tells. “I think I really overhyped in my head how hard it was going to be with two kids.”
As she prepares to head back to work, Heather says she’s found a calm, mindful balance between her two worlds – home and career. When she’s on holiday with her children, she neither longs to return to work nor dreads it. Instead, she’s learned to fully embrace each phase as it comes. Knowing Mackay is likely her last baby, Heather has been especially intentional about savouring the small moments.
“I was reading a book to Iggy last night and in the front, the author’s inscription said, ‘Enjoy it, parents. Enjoy it while it lasts.’ I know there’ll come a time when my boy won’t want to sleep in bed with me anymore. So if he wants to sleep in bed with me now, I don’t hate it, I don’t resent it. I cuddle the hell out of him because it’s not going to be forever.
“One day, both of these kids will be off living their own lives. And I don’t want to look back and think, ‘I didn’t enjoy that.’”