While she was refused permanent name suppression, she was allowed to keep her name secret until after she gave birth.
The boy’s parents spoke to the Herald about the case and their fury at her name being kept secret for so long.
Tamlyn May before her arrest for child sex offending. Photo / Supplied
“I want parents to know that predators can come in any sex, any shape or size – in this case, it was a pretty little blonde thing with a lanyard round her neck who groomed us, and had the school fooled,” said the boy’s mother.
“Predators don’t have to be a creepy man in a van giving you sweets and asking you to see puppies, which is the stereotype. It can be a coach, a teacher, anyone.”
The boy’s father said they were “scared” to speak publicly, but felt compelled to raise awareness and alert other parents.
“We’re scared, but there is a greater purpose here. If we can stop it from happening again, that’s for the greater good.
“We just want to warn parents.”
What’s wrong with our ‘loveable’ boy?
He was a cheeky 11-year-old. Mischievous, but never naughty.
And then he started bullying other kids.
“I was getting called into school every other week because he was bullying people. He’d never been like that – he’s always been such a lovely, cuddly, compassionate, empathetic kid,” his father said.
“It was getting worse and worse and worse. To cut a hell of a long story short, basically, he got stood down from school for the second time after a serious incident.”
Tamlyn May in court for sentencing. Her name was suppressed at the time. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
The Herald cannot report the details as it may identify the boy.
“We were really worried about his mental health. He was fine at home but not at school.”
The parents were so concerned that they sought help from their local child and youth mental health service.
May became involved, and the boy’s parents believed she was helping them.
He was not letting any family attend his sports games, but would allow May to go and watch.
“We thought, great, she’s helping him with his mental health – but all the while she was destroying his mental health,” his father said.
“We would be at the park, and she would be there, and we would allow him to go for a walk up the beach with her. It wasn’t as if we weren’t there.
“She was into fitness, and they’d go for runs and stuff like that. We allowed it because he came back so happy, and to see a mentally battered child happy made us happy.
“And she was his teacher.”
In mid-2024, the boy told his father he’d forgotten the code to unlock his phone.
“I’ve done a recovery, and all of a sudden I get this alert saying someone had logged into his Gmail account,” the father explained.
May was sending the boy nude photos as she groomed him. Photo / Getty Images
“You can see the device that’s logged on, what WiFi network it’s on … I saw it was the school, and I recognised her device. I phoned the school and told them.
“Then his mum phoned and said, ‘Get him off his f***ing laptop now.’ She never swears … so I went and got the laptop and took it into the bedroom and said to her, ‘What’s going on?’
“She sent me pictures … the teacher was using a live Google document and typing sick stuff to him, and then as soon as he answered, she was deleting her questions.
“Luckily, his mum was taking screenshots of it all. And that’s how we found out.”
The father took his son to his mother’s, then went to the school and the police.
“This person begged me not to go to the police because it would ruin her teaching career. When she found out I was going to the police station, she sent me and [the boy’s] mum a message saying she was going to kill herself.
“I told the police: you make sure that selfish b**** can’t do it.”
Parents infuriated by bail, secrecy
May appeared in court for the first time in September 2024 and pleaded guilty to the charges in November.
While awaiting sentencing, she was on bail, at one stage even travelling overseas, which angered the boy’s parents.
“I’ve bumped into her … I’ve been sitting at a bar and she’s walked in,” his father said.
“And there’s been two or three times when I’ve had my boy with me and I’ve had to change my entire day because she’s at the same place.
May was sentenced last year in the North Shore District Court. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
“We have to change, and she carries on with her day. And we can’t get a protection order and we haven’t been able to trespass her from places we go because of the name suppression.
“If she was a family member, I could get a protection order out that means she can’t come anywhere near us if she sees us in public. But there are holes in the law that basically do not protect us.
“And it’s not, it’s not like she’s awaiting trial, right, and she’s innocent until proven guilty. She’s pleaded guilty, she’s admitted it. And she’s been out all that time, all through the summer holidays, the Easter holiday … she’s been out in places where other children are, and she’s a convicted sex offender.”
A new law that went into effect late last year requires consent from the victim for a person convicted of a sexual offence to receive permanent name suppression.
But May was exempt from that law because of the timing of her charges and sentencing.
At her sentencing, her lawyer, David Jones, KC, claimed she had been suffering a psychological issue in which she saw herself, as if in virtual reality, as a fellow 11-year-old.
It stemmed from trauma in her childhood, he said, describing the situation as “trauma-bonding”.
“We’re not talking about some sort of predatory behaviour or prurient interest,” Jones told the court.
“She had a real interest in helping young people with behavioural issues. And she was of the same ilk. She would regress back to the age where she was 11.”
‘It’s been scary – but we’ve got our boy back’
Since May’s secret was exposed, the boy is doing much better.
“He’s great. I’m just happy that we’ve got our son back and he’s our cuddly, empathetic boy,” his father said.
“We’ve got him back, and we’re getting him help. He is a very level-headed, normal 11-year-old. We’ve tried hard to keep things as normal as possible, and we’ve been truthful with him right the way through.
“But it’s been scary.”
The 11-year-old was having issues at school and his parents thought May was supporting and helping him. But she was grooming and abusing him.
The boy was not interested in what happened to May, as long as he never had to see her again.
“He said, ‘I hate her … I don’t care’,” his father said.
The father read a victim impact statement in court, in which he called May a “narcissist” and said he did not believe she was sorry or remorseful.
“The only reason she pleaded guilty was that her lawyer couldn’t defend her because the evidence we had was so watertight.
“I think she’s tried to get a lesser sentence … she’s a narcissist, she’s self-centred.”
He firmly opposed May’s name suppression from the outset.
“I think it sucks that somebody can go incognito for the rest of their life being a predator.
“People need to know who she is and what she has done … [female teachers sexually abusing pupils] is something so unheard of in New Zealand, and we want to get our story out there to open people’s eyes.”
He felt a lot of guilt about what happened because he had allowed May access to his son.
“We have come to terms with it now … At first, we hated ourselves because we were like, why didn’t we see it? Because once it does come to light, it’s like, ‘My God, how stupid have we been?’
“But she’s clever. And this is why the offending needs to be reported.
“Child sex offenders are very intelligent people, they will stop at nothing to accomplish their end game, which is abusing your child.
“We thought we were doing what was best for our son because he was in such a fragile mental state … and again, she was his teacher. We didn’t see the warning signs.
“To be fair, the police have actually been reassuring that she is a damn good operator and groomed our son into all of this … she groomed us.”
The boy’s parents were furious May kept her name secret for so long. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
In his victim impact statement, the father said he wanted May banned from areas where children congregate.
“She should not be allowed anywhere near any school anywhere in New Zealand.
“Or any other place where children are, to be completely honest.”
After she was charged, May was still registered as a teacher but was “voluntarily undertaking not to teach” due to “conduct”.
Her teaching licence has now been cancelled.
“We just want all parents to know that, unfortunately, the world is such a place now that you cannot trust anyone,” the boy’s mother said.
“So just be wary and keep an eye on social media – especially things like Snapchat, where police can’t get into and retrieve content.
“It’s a dangerous, nasty world and you have to be vigilant.”
Anna Leask is a senior journalist who covers national crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2008 and has worked as a journalist for 19 years with a particular focus on family and gender-based violence, child abuse, sexual violence, homicides, mental health and youth crime. She writes, hosts and produces the award-winning podcast A Moment In Crime, released monthly on nzherald.co.nz.