This weekend on our favorite program, Rich Women Doing Things, the rich women did things! They went to the Hamptons and hit on sexy musicians who are about their age but then told stories about how 26-year-olds were asking for their numbers and they just pretended to be 26 too, because who doesn’t want to be 26 again and living in a shitty apartment and worrying about getting crabs? They went on a walk in the park in Beverly Hills, even though those parks are not meant for walking; they are meant for driving by, and the park’s privacy should be respected at this very difficult time. They said that they wanted to sleep with Brad Pitt and then one of the rich ladies said, “Ew!,” that she didn’t want to sleep with Brad Pitt. They talked about their choices not to have plastic surgery and be all boobs and lips and how that strangely made them feel inferior.
All of the plastic-surgery talk happened when the rich ladies, well, two of them, had dinner with returning champion Denise Richards, who just finished having her boobs redone and a face-lift while leaving her husband because he physically abused her. This is a wild and fascinating scene and one of the best that we’ve had in a long time. After the news of the (I guess we still need to say alleged) abuse broke in the press, Sutton and Erika meet their former co-star for dinner to talk about everything. It starts, strangely enough, with Denise detailing her surgeries. Before we start judging Denise for having multiple aesthetic procedures while going through this, she had her boobs done because she ruptured both breast implants while filming Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, so at least that one was medically necessary. The face-lift, though, well, we can’t account for that.
Denise then says that she got the surgeries when she knew there was no hope for her marriage or any way of getting out of it. She says that she could barely walk from surgery, and her husband had to help her to the toilet. When she wouldn’t give him her phone, he hit her across the head. She jokes, “I told Charlie he’s making him look like a saint. Charlie appreciated it.”
That’s what is sort of unexpected about this scene: that Denise is trying to smile through it. She is cracking jokes; she’s being nonchalant; she’s just having a good time with the gals, as if the photo of the shiner that just flashed on all of our screens didn’t elicit a collective “Oh God!” But that’s the Denise we know and love. That’s how she always was on the show, so low-key that the rest of the women had no idea what to do with her. (Accusing her of being a lesbian and then sending her back to an angry and abusive husband is what they did to her.) She knows she’s going to get through it; she knows she’s going to be fine; she knows that weeping and feeling sorry for herself isn’t going to help, at least for her. There’s no right way to react to a situation like this — and no wrong way, either. But Denise’s refusal to cry for this man and to make herself look like a victim, her ability to shrug off things that would crater most of us, is astonishing and admirable. That’s how you weather a career in Hollywood as an aging starlet, sometimes reality star, and part-time OnlyFans model: by not letting any of it get to you too much, as long as you have your health and the love of your three daughters.
It also elicited a response from Erika, who says that someone she was with casually after her divorce from Tom was abusive to her as well. She doesn’t detail what happened (looks like we’ll get more of that next week), but Erika dealt with it quickly after the third instance of abuse. Erika relates this in her own way as well, the way she always handles things. Some might say she’s cold, but she’s taking it head-on, speaking directly and matter-of-factly, but this is Erika in public, at her most guarded. She says, “You have no idea how shameful it is to be the mother of a police officer and have to call 911 and then have to call him and say that ‘you should hear it from me before you hear from someone else’?”
With both of these women, the way we see them reacting isn’t the whole story; it’s the public face of a lot of pain, a lot of terror, a lot of damage done by absolutely despicable men. Sutton’s reaction is probably the way many of us felt. She felt as though women like Denise and Erika — who are so strong, who are fighters — would never deal with this abuse, but the sad reality is that no one chooses it and no one can prevent it, there are just too many fucking asshole men out there, and anyone can have the misfortune of running into one and having to endur this. But talking about it helps, exposing it helps, letting women know that they too can get out of it and thrive helps. If something as stupid as Housewives can shed any light on these stories, then good for Housewives.
I do wish the show had grappled a bit more with its part in all of this, but it did show the women saying they never suspected anything but they didn’t like the way Denise’s ex talked to them. It also reveals him saying he is going to “crush her hand” as they angrily left a party in Kyle’s backyard, which definitely hits a bit different now that we know everything that happened.
All of this is revelatory to Sutton — her look of concern and astonishment at Erika’s revelation, which was also coupled with a look that said, “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped.” In this episode, Boz, Dorit, and Erika all say how Sutton has changed and how she’s much more fun and predictable this summer, and at least Erika chalks it up to her not having her vodka all the time. Looks like Sutton Brown should change her name to Sutton Dry, because they all seem to be genuinely enjoying her this season. I have to admit: I’m enjoying her a bit more as well.
How about something fun? Let’s talk about something fun? Kyle, Dorit, and Rachel in the Hamptons seemed like fun, but it was also a little bit of a snooze. Everyone is getting along and having a good time. Please. If I wanted that, I would go stare at the local carousel for 42 minutes plus commercial breaks. Also, how are they in the Hamptons and not even stopping by Summer House so that they can ask Jesse what happened with Erika Jayne? Instead they’re talking about Erika Jayne’s legal troubles. That’s not fun. That’s terrible for everyone involved. Summer should be fun. Lawsuits? Not fun.
Know what is fun? How much everyone hates Amanda. That is super-fun. That is why we tune in. After her “manifestation dinner,” which I keep wanting to call a lunch because it was in full daylight and there was journaling involved. Amanda is upset that the women didn’t want to participate in her journaling exercise, and I don’t blame them. Who wants to show up to a dinner party and not only get homework but also a pop quiz? This isn’t science class! She also talks to her husband about her ongoing dispute with Dorit and why Dorit may not like her. “Because I’m young and successful and not financially dependent on a man, and she outsourced her financial well-being to a man and it did not go well?” she posits. Ooh, girl. Wait to see what Dorit says about this at the reunion.
Amanda invites Erika over for lunch at her house. Why Erika? Amanda explains, “She is continually interested in my business and my thoughts about manifestation.” This right here is the problem. This show is not an infomercial. It’s not about talking about your business all the time. We’re sick of hearing about your business and manifestation. Maybe it’s as Boz said a few episodes back: that Amanda’s whole identity is that of her job, so she thinks that getting to know her job is getting to know her, but that is not what forms connections with people. It may form connections with clients, but these women aren’t clients.
Erika comes over and gives Amanda some advice. “We want to know about the cult,” Erika says. Yes, we sure do! Amanda tells the story, and it wasn’t even a good cult. They didn’t believe in weird aliens or some freaky doomsday or that some lady would remake their soils by giving them colloidal silver. It was just a Christian cult, the most boring kind of cult. I’m joking, of course — all cults are bad, and Amanda’s story sounds like it really was a cult. This pastor isolated her from her family, controlled every aspect of her life, took her money, and made sure all she did was in service to him. Eventually, she figured it out, though, thank God. Well, we shouldn’t thank God for getting out of cults since he is the reason most of them exist. Who should we think? Science? Sure. Thank science!
After Amanda tells this story, Erika tells her that this is what the ladies want from her, not journaling or advice or opinions. They want to know her as a person; they want to hear her story and feel her emotions. Erika walked with Amanda to her front door and double-kissed her as she got into her Uber and went back home. Amanda closed the door and looked into her big foyer with the children’s toys scattered all over the new floor. She could see the light coming in; she could see the doors upstairs, all open, all giving entry into the lives of one of her children. She thought about her time in the cult, about how that pastor went to each of those doors and closed them, closed them all, kept her in the dark, kept her confined. Now she has freedom, love, all the choices that an adult life affords her, with all of that noise and confusion. Then she remembers the smallness, she remembers the dark, she remembers all the choices taken away from her, and she remembers that’s the only time she remembers feeling truly safe.
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