“5:30am – my sunrise clock wakes me (can’t do alarms).
“Visualisation + gratitude, connecting in and setting the tone for the day, while coconut oil pulling.
“Electrolytes + intention-infused water (I rest paper with my written intentions over the water overnight)”, the post began.
The Instagram story also revealed that Winter then typically eats a single boiled egg intended to protect her cortisol levels, before meditating, affirming and invoking.
She then goes outside for some light stretching, morning sunlight and grounding, followed by full-body dry-brushing and facial massage, before 10 minutes “rebounding”.
On Monday, Emily Writes’ column was published on her website and social media, headlined I tried to live like Chelsea Winter, and describing her own efforts to emulate the celebrity chef’s elaborate morning regimen.
“Early Thursday, I began receiving the same screenshot over and over. It was from influencer chef Chelsea Winter’s Instagram Stories, which described her morning routine. It was so relatable that about 150 mothers sent it to me,” the column began.
“I don’t really know Chelsea Winter beyond the fact that we share a publisher, Penguin Random House, and that one of her cookbooks has probably outsold all three of my books combined. She’s wildly popular.
Author and social commentator Emily Writes wrote a satirical column about Chelsea Winter’s morning routine. Photo / Supplied
“Do I want to be wildly popular? Of course. Every writer does. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
“So I decided maybe I should be more like Chelsea Winter, starting with her incredible morning routine.”
Emily Writes is a columnist, social commentator, and contributing writer for The Spinoff, who has written three parenting books Rants in the Dark, Is it Bedtime Yet? and Needs Adult Supervision.
According to her publisher she makes a living from her online newsletter Emily Writes Weekly, and – like Winter – has two children.
Writes’ column was accompanied by a photo of Winter, with a caption describing her as glowing like the Irish angel from Touched By An Angel.
Emily Writes said Chelsea Winter was glowing like the Irish angel from Touched By an Angel. Photo / Supplied
“Chelsea Winter can’t do alarms. Fair. I’ve never needed one either because I have a child who wakes at dawn,” continued the column.
“Instead of a sunrise clock, which creates a ‘soothing sunrise simulation’ I relied on my children.
“Unfortunately, my sunrise simulation started at midnight.
“My son’s blood glucose alarm went off. I treated the high and went back to bed. It went off again. I corrected it again. Then he went low, so I gave him juice and waited beside his bed. My youngest needed the toilet.”
In Monday’s column, Emily Writes described trying a morning visualisation. Her chosen subject was Alexander Skarsgård abducting her and saying “OMG, you’re so hot, Emily”. Photo / Supplied
The column explored visualisation and gratitude. “I try to visualise Alexander Skarsgård carrying me out of my house, straight into a car, and off to the airport where there’s a private jet waiting to fly us to one of those islands with huts over the water.
“I try to visualise him saying: OMG, you’re so hot, Emily. I am going to [redacted] your [redacted] on your [redacted] with your [redacted].
“Time for breakfast: one single egg. I eat the egg. I am still hungry.”
The column ended, “I’m too tired to write a note for my water tonight, but I already know my intentions for tomorrow.
“They’re the same as every day.
“I’m just going to try to do my best.
“My best isn’t influencer-perfect.
“But it’s good enough.”
In a statement to the Herald, Winter said she has not read Writes’ column, because “something like this just isn’t where my energy is meant to go. I got given the gist, though.
“I understand that many women are carrying a lot – overwhelm, resentment, exhaustion, dysregulation. I’ve been through incredibly difficult chapters myself, and very few people know how hard I’ve worked to come out the other side … I’m living proof of what nervous system regulation and consistent inner work can create in a woman’s life.
Chelsea Winter told the Herald she has not read the column as her attention is elsewhere. Such as her own parenting, and running restorative retreats for women. Photo / Supplied
“My intention on social media has always been simple: to be authentic and … share the simple practices that have supported me through a very challenging few years.
“What people see online is only a moment in time – it doesn’t show the context, the personal work, or the journey that’s brought me to the grounded place I’m in now.
“As a mother of two, my wellbeing directly shapes how I show up for my children. The rhythm I’ve created in my life is not about perfection; it’s about being present, regulated and steady for them, and modelling what it looks like to take care of yourself in healthy ways.
“I know not everyone will resonate, and that’s fine. I’m committed to standing in my truth and continuing the work I feel called to do.”
Chelsea Winter, pictured on MasterChef, which she won in 2012. Photo / Supplied
Winter won MasterChef Season 3 in 2012, has published several bestselling cookbooks and now lives in Taranaki running $6,888 “Nourish & Bloom feminine remembrance retreats” at Flockhill Lodge “offering women both deep immersion, and then the everyday tools to regulate their nervous systems”.
Emily Writes is based in Wellington and writes about parenting, feminism and social issues. In 2015 one of her posts went viral when she wrote about her life with a newborn.
She is also known for her advocacy work for parents of disabled or medically fragile children, through the charity Awhi Ngā Mātua, which she co-founded.
In 2017, Writes experienced backlash over a sexually explicit Spinoff column about fantasising and wanting to have sex with Luther actor, Idris Elba.
She described him as “exhaustingly arousing” then pulled the post down and apologised.
Emily Writes apologised after a 2017 column that detailed her sexual fantasies about Idris Elba. Photo / Supplied
On Tuesday, a day after posting her column about Chelsea Winter’s routine, Writes posted again to Facebook, “Kind of depressing to see women get more worked up about imagined slights towards a 10x best-selling celebrity chef than they do about the genocide in Gaza.
“Since this post is doing numbers, please remember the Aotearoa 2 Gaza mutual aid fund. Here’s what life is like for mothers in Gaza.”
The Herald has approached Penguin Random House NZ and Emily Writes for comment.
Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland-based investigative journalist who won Best Documentary at the Voyager Media Awards in 2022. She worked for the Herald on Sunday from 2007-2011 and rejoined the Herald in 2016 after working as an award-winning current affairs producer at TVNZ’s 60 Minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.