An affidavit. A screenshot of text exchanges. Bank statements. That kind of evidence would’ve been required.
Chris and Jade Hipkins were married in 2020. They separated in 2022. Photo / Katie Kidman
You know that’s true because even now, the media still aren’t reporting what Jade Paul has said. The media are only reporting that she’s said something. No one wants to be sued for defamation by Hipkins because they can’t prove what they report. He’s already made veiled threats to do so.
What’s changed in the past two decades is social media. Now, no one needs to provide the receipts to get their version of how much their ex sucks into the newspapers. They just need to hijack a Labour Party Facebook post and make salacious allegations.
And then, if that post is screen-grabbed and shared as widely as Jade Paul’s was, the media have no choice. They must report something. Not reporting what is being widely discussed becomes an act of suppression.
There will be some who welcome this new, looser media landscape because it circumvents the gatekeepers in the media and democratises news, and to some extent, it’s true.
But it is also dangerous. It means we are all at risk of having our characters and future job prospects harmed by an angry enough ex with a Facebook account.
There are some who argue that the word of an ex-wife should be taken simply by dint of her gender. It’s the “all women should be believed” tosh.
Anyone who’s been in a messy divorce or – even just witnessed one – knows that the last thing you should do is to take as gospel what either side claims. No one has a worse opinion of a person than the spouse they’ve recently broken up with. Divorce has a remarkable ability to turn the love of your life into the worst person you’ve ever met.
There are often stories of terrible emotional neglect. There are frequently fights about money. Allegations of another woman are not unusual.
That doesn’t mean spouses should accept bad behaviour from each other. It also doesn’t mean Hipkins gets a free pass just because divorces get messy. If any of this were proved, there would be real character questions for the man wanting to become Prime Minister in November.
Even without proof, Hipkins should be worried about how voters will react to his ex’s allegations. Because there is another truth about messy divorces: everyone else always seems to pick a side.
His problem is women voters in particular. There are enough women who’ve themselves been through messy divorces and squabbled about money – or watched their mums, sisters or friends do it – that it’s safe to assume some will feel sympathy for Paul’s version of events.
Labour relies on the female vote. Thirty-five per cent of women support Labour compared to only 25% of men, according to this month’s Roy Morgan poll.
Unfortunately for Hipkins, debating whether this is our business is a moot point. The details are out there. We know them regardless of whether they’re of any value to us.
His hope may have to be that enough of us have witnessed enough ugly divorces to know it’s best not to rush to judgment.
Heather du Plessis-Allan is the Drive host for Newstalk ZB.