It’s a number women whisper, fudge – or refuse to admit to altogether. In an age where we openly discuss everything from salaries to sex lives, a question still lingers as one of society’s last taboos: how many people have you slept with?

Surveys indicate the average British woman has around four to eight sexual partners over her lifetime. And while the rules may be different for men, confessing to far fewer or far greater can illicit a withering judgment.

Indeed, we instantly make narrow assumptions about what sort of woman has had many partners – or one who’s had none or hardly any at all.

So it’s no wonder few of us would be brave enough to confess all publicly about our own notches on the bedpost. Yet here, five women dare to share how many people they have slept with – from the one who’s only ever been intimate with her husband to the mother of four who’s been with 60 men.

So can you tell which is which just by looking at a picture of them?

Read on to find out whose sexual history is whose… you might be surprised at the results!

‘I’ve slept with 50 men and one woman – but I don’t regret a single one’

Emma Donaldson, 56, a study skills tutor from Leicester, has been in a relationship for two years. She says: I’ve always told friends I’ve had only 12 partners because it sounds like a respectable number. It’s neither ‘slutty’ nor boringly chaste.

The truth is, however, I’ve slept with as many as 50 men – and one woman. I realise that sounds like a lot; it did to me when I totted them up. But I don’t regret a single encounter.

Over the years, I’ve had 20 relationships of differing lengths, the longest of which lasted seven years.

I don’t consider myself a one-night-stand sort of person – even though I’ve had nine – but when younger I did have about 20 ‘friends with benefits’.

As for the one woman, I was attracted to her as a person rather than being curious about making love to a woman. It was a one-off.

Raised in a traditional set-up with married parents, I’d always assumed I’d follow in their footsteps. But it never happened. Meanwhile, I became too (happily) set in my ways.

I lost my virginity to my first proper boyfriend when I was 18. We split after a year and I had another year-long relationship when I was 19.

The bulk of my notches on the bedpost occurred in my early 20s and late 30s when I was studying for my Masters and then working at the university. It was so easy to meet guys there; no need for dating websites.

I am not someone who views sex as purely transactional. During the post-coital glow, I’d often be convinced we’d get married and have our happy ever after. I’d be disappointed when they didn’t ring me.

That said, there isn’t one person I have regretted sleeping with. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m good in bed, but I don’t believe I’ve ever had bad sex either.

My longest relationship started when I was 27. Outside of the bedroom he was utterly unreliable. No matter how good the sex is, if you can’t count on someone then what’s the point? I left him.

It was then, during my late 30s, that I had a few friends-with-benefits scenarios with men I met at the pub. When you value your independence, you don’t necessarily want someone living with you.

Around that time I also slept with the female friend of a friend. It can’t be compared to making love with a man and I have no wish to repeat it.

I was celibate for my entire 40s – by then an artist, I was focused on my work. It was only in 2021, after the pandemic, that I realised life is too short to shut off from people. I met Dave two years ago. A regular customer at the charity shop where I volunteer, we bumped into each other at a festival and things went from there.

We had sex after our third date. Having a sexual history allows me to compare what has worked and what hasn’t so I know we are compatible. He stays with me at the weekends and for one night a week. I prefer it because I like having freedom.

When I told Dave how many people I’d slept with, he didn’t judge. He hasn’t slept with as many women – if he had, I’d have questions. And yes, I admit that’s double standards.

I know some will criticise me for having ‘been around the block’. I’ve never turned down a guy I have found attractive. After all, life is about seizing the day. That’s how I finally found the right man in my late 50s.

‘My husband and I lost our virginity to each other’ 

Civil servant Jessie Charles, 33, lives in Worthing, West Sussex, with Shaun, 33, her husband of nine years, and their two children, aged five and four. Jessie says: The first time I had sex with Shaun I was so excited I phoned my mum, dad and grandma to let them know. We’re all very close and I don’t have secrets. They were pleased for me.

Shaun and I had known each other at school since we were 12. But it was only when I turned 16 that I developed a crush on him. I’m not sure I was even on his radar at that point. Undeterred, I invited him to my house on four occasions. When he stood me up each time, I was gutted.

When our date finally happened on the fifth occasion, we hit it off. We slept together and it was the first time for both of us.

I’d been out with guys before and in situations where I could’ve had sex, but I didn’t. I respect my own body and know what’s right for me.

Shaun and I are body-confident and have a matched sex drive. I proposed to him, in a leap year, when we were both 23 and we married a year later. I don’t feel I have missed out by having just one sexual partner. I listen to friends who get their hearts broken time and again and feel grateful to be with Shaun. I like to think we’re a good example to our children.

‘The one man I wish I hadn’t been intimate with? A famous pop star’

Claire Reilly, 39, a concert booker, lives in West Sussex with her partner and their two children, aged five and four. She says: I have had seven sexual partners. There are another two I could add to this list but I won’t – alcohol was involved so they were ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ encounters.

I decided I never wanted to go beyond double figures when I was in my teens, out of self-respect.

My mum was always very open about sex. When I was 17 she bought me a double bed after I started sleeping with my first boyfriend. My older sisters were outraged, but Mum said she’d rather I was safe at home than having sex elsewhere.

My boyfriend even ran me a bath before our first time (Mum was out at work). Little wonder we were together for three years. We only split after I moved to London to study.

I slept with two other guys I had met at university, and – because I enjoyed it – went on to have regular casual sex with them.

After I graduated, I found work in the music industry. At one festival in Norway, a famous singer pursued me using the line, ‘I’m in a band.’ I turned him down flat because I had a boyfriend of three years at the time.

I did sleep with one now famous musician – his band was up-and-coming at the time – and it’s the only one I regret. That’s because we were friends, and should’ve stayed that way. One evening, when I’d had a few too many, I gave in to his persistent come-ons. Things were never the same between us.

When I was 30 I started a two-year affair with my boss. I ended it because I didn’t want people to think that’s why I’d been promoted. Eventually I left the company.

I met my current partner soon after at my best friend’s wedding: he is her brother. He spent his formative years working as a holiday rep in Kavos in Greece and has slept with hundreds of women. I never would have been interested in him at that time.

We’ve been together for seven years. Now nearly 40 and with two young children, I wonder if I’ll ever have impulsive sex again!

‘I would advise my daughter not to follow in my footsteps’

Model Naomi Forbes, 28, from Glasgow, is in a long-term relationship. They have three sons aged nine, five and three, and a seven-year-old daughter. Naomi says: I’ve been intimate with approximately 60 men – and I regret it.

Most of my conquests happened in the small town where I grew up when I was 18 to 19. Even though I wasn’t a fully-fledged adult at that time, people who knew me back then still judge me for it today.

My parents had me via IVF so, when I finally arrived, they wrapped me up in cotton wool throughout my childhood. But I rebelled and was just 16 when I first had sex with someone I met through mutual friends. Part of me was glad to get it out of the way.

We were together for two years and it became so serious that we planned to have a family together. As I was conceived via IVF, I worried I’d be infertile. As bizarre as it sounds now, we tried to conceive and when it didn’t happen, I assumed it was down to me.

After we split up, I slept with a lot of men in my late teens – as many as 30 – believing I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. But none were one-night stands; if I slept with someone, it was because we’d been dating for a week or two.

At that point I did get a lot of male attention. I’m easy on the eye, outgoing and have a natural curiosity about people.

I can see now that I was naive. One guy, who was quite a bit older than me, would only take me to his mum’s house when she was out. After a month of sleeping with him, a friend told me she’d found out he was married. I felt so stupid; he was just using me for sex.

Shortly after, I met my current partner. We have broken up and got back together twice. Apart for eight months and six months, we did sleep with other people. But I never invited men to my home; they didn’t get to meet my children.

Becoming a mum was all I ever wanted to do and I’m happier and more settled in my relationship these days.

Working as a model for corporate shoots, I do meet lots of men but I have never mixed my personal and professional life.

As for raising a daughter, when she is older my advice to her would be not to sleep with so many partners. And, in all honesty, I’ll dish out the same words of warning to my sons. You assume you know someone after a few hours in their company, but you can’t make a serious life judgment about someone in that time. 

‘If I want to sleep with two men on one night, I will’

Media business owner Joyce Bofenda, 24, is single and lives in Romford, East London. She says: I have never had a boyfriend but what you don’t know, you don’t miss. I have slept with 17 men, which might sound a lot at my age but I’ve always known my 20s would be my bachelorette years.

Besides, this way I get the best part of a relationship – the physical side – without the mundane aspects. I see my friends living on their nerves while negotiating their decisions with their boyfriends, and that’s not for me.

I lost my virginity at 16, a month after I’d finished my GCSEs, to a boy I’d known for a month. I went on to have sex with another guy a month later and then another before I was 17.

I then took a break from sex until I was 19 so I could focus on my studies.

I’m a singer and when I was 21 I was invited to the US for a talent showcase in Miami. On the last day, a guy who had expressed interest before propositioned me. He persuaded me that life was about living in the moment so we ended up having sex.

Back in the UK, aged 22, I was online dating, which sometimes turned into spontaneous connections.

When I was 23 I was intimate with two guys at two separate parties on the same night. The first man was a friend of a friend, and the second – a rich, popular artist – was someone I was set up with at a separate event later that evening. I was seduced by the environment: an expensive apartment with wealthy people and fizz on tap. The whole experience felt fun.

For my generation it isn’t about sexual empowerment – we don’t think in those terms. If I want to have sex with two different men on the same night, I will. Last year I had two regular partners in a no-strings-attached situation.

I do not usually talk numbers with guys. If pressed, I might say I’ve been with two or five guys. It depends if I think he can handle my honesty.

Now 24, I’m happily single and focused on my work. I don’t regret any of my experiences: they were fun and taught me about myself.

While I haven’t found a life partner yet, I’ve got plenty of time for that.

Some names have been changed to protect identities.