A few weeks ago, my tiny two-year-old daughter broke her leg. An innocuous trip from a couple of steps up resulted in a “toddler fracture” – a hairline fracture in her tibia caused by falling awkwardly – a plaster cast, and a couple of weeks of her surgically attached to me while she healed.

I hadn’t cared for her so intensely since she was a baby and as I carried her from room to room, I found myself thinking about her life and her future. If I couldn’t protect her from a broken leg now, how was I going to protect her from the big, bad world at 18, 21 or 35?

At least part of the answer, in my opinion, is teaching her about money. As a financial coach and author, I want her to learn from my mistakes and make smaller, less catastrophic ones of her own.  (At the age of 29, I had over £27,000 of credit card debt, which was pretty much my whole pre-tax salary.) I want to do what I can to ensure that her financial health compounds in a positive direction straight off the bat, rather than spending over a decade in the shallows, as mine did.

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A huge amount of adult financial well-being can, of course, be predicated on parental wealth – the Bank of Mum and Dad – but the other component is the knowledge and education that they impart, and I’m determined to do my bit.

It’s important to note that I also have two sons, whom we are already actively engaging with about all things money, but until all the various gender pay and wealth gaps are closed, it feels like our daughter’s financial education needs special, tailored attention.

There are certain fundamentals that I feel will set her on a solid path (whether or not she chooses to stay on it).

Align your career with your lifestyle aspirations

I first heard the term “lifestyle design” at least five years ago and while it might sound like girlboss jargon at first, it actually makes a lot of sense on reflection. We are incredibly young when we make the choices that will inform what we earn for at least the first part of our adult lives and generic career advice is often all that we get. We may have a rough idea of our talents and ambitions but rarely do we think about what kind of lifestyle our chosen career might afford us, at least without a bit of encouragement from our parents.

I genuinely don’t mind what sort of life or career my daughter chooses, but I would like her to walk into that decision with her eyes as wide open as they can be. I would like to make sure she knows what sort of salary her chosen profession can command, what sort of hours she might work and where to set her sights when it comes to lifestyle – because when there’s a mismatch. It can lead to frustration, resentment and a lot of debt if you try to make up the shortfall with credit.

Always keep a ‘Freedom Fund‘

A little more than your standard “Emergency Fund”, a “Freedom Fund” (or “F**k Off Fund”), is specifically designed as an escape hatch from a difficult situation. I don’t want my daughter to feel bound to a horrible partner, or a bad boss, or any other situation that jeopardises her physical or mental health, safety, or wellbeing because she doesn’t have enough money to extract herself.

Of course, we would hope to always be there as backup but I want her to feel confident standing on her own two feet, safe in the knowledge that she can pay her own way and make her own choices.

Start investing from your first paycheck

I often fantasise about what my life might currently be like if someone had sat me down at 21 and explained compound interest to me, but, in lieu of a time machine, I can at least pass on what I know now to my children.

Rather than lamenting the over £50,000 that I could have saved if I’d invested £100 per month since 2011, I want to encourage my daughter to see what an opportunity this could be for her. We have been investing in a junior ISA for her since she was born – small, consistent amounts that should give her a good starting point to continue her investing journey herself.

As she gets older, I’ll show her how investing even just a tiny amount of her pay could help her to grow real financial security over the years, without even really noticing. We’ve even discussed matching her contributions for a few years of her early adulthood, to really get the habit bedded in.

Clare plans to teach her daughter the power of investing

Always negotiate

Negotiating salary at every life stage – from early career to midlife- is essential for a strong growth trajectory but for women, the additional benefits, like a generous pension, paid leave and health insurance, can be where the real difference lies.

Before I became self-employed, I had only rarely had salary conversations. I would often be too nervous to ask about compensation in job interviews and be happy to accept what was on offer, rather than being confident enough in my abilities to ask what the company could offer me in return for my skills. My pay only ever increased in small increments, and I only ever got statutory benefits.

Negotiating better parental pay (and encouraging a partner to do the same) can reduce earning loss if starting a family, while asking for a higher pension contribution from your employer can help to compensate for any time spent out of the workforce. It can help reduce the gender pension gap between men and women, which, according to recent data from PensionBee, currently sits at 37 per cent.

Liking yourself is your armour against overspending

Not all of the wisdom I want to pass on is practical – some parts of financial education are deeply emotional. I could not tell you how much I have spent over the years, trying to “fix” the parts of myself that society told me were not good enough.

At times when I didn’t like myself, it was all too easy to fall for marketing promises and spend money that I didn’t have, and it hurts me to think that my daughter – easily the most beautiful creature I’ve seen in my life – might ever feel this way.

I am not quite sure how to protect her from all of the forces out there that would conspire to tell her that she needs to buy this powder or that gadget but I hope that I can teach her to like herself and that this might form some sort of armour around her.

Use credit wisely – or not at all

Fortunately, I have a well-documented cautionary tale to share here. Before my daughter was born, over the course of 10 years, I amassed a huge amount of debt, spread across several different credit cards. Some was down to high living costs and a low salary in my twenties; a significant amount was for my wedding and a little was for trying to keep up with the Joneses (i.e. mumfluencers on Instagram).

But, crucially, I just didn’t realise how much it can spiral, and how much credit can facilitate unhealthy shopping habits. I want to teach her how easy credit makes it to hide your own spending from yourself, to separate the pleasure of buying from the pain of paying to such a point where you can’t appreciate the value exchange going on. I want her to understand that if she wants something, there is a price to pay.

I don’t want her to be scared of credit, though – because that’s a recipe for misuse and shame spirals. Instead, I’m hoping to teach her how to use it well, what the red flags for over-reliance are – is she bumping up against her credit limit or reaching for credit to bypass her budget, for example – and what she can do if she finds herself stuck with a big balance.

Give yourself an allowance for enjoyment

As much as I’d like my daughter to spend and save wisely, I don’t want to see her feeling forced to monetise every hobby or to save every penny to the detriment of her enjoyment of life. I’ll always encourage her to keep a pot of money for guilt-free spending and show her how, especially if you start young enough, spending on your lifestyle and saving for your future don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Now, in my thirties, setting aside £50 or so per month to spend as I see fit helps me to look after myself without worrying that I should be spending it elsewhere – especially as a mum.

I know that some of these endeavours might be futile and that my daughter will inevitably make her own money mistakes throughout her life but we shouldn’t underestimate the influence of parents on our attitude towards money as we grow into adulthood. I want to set her up to the best of my ability.