Prince Harry shared the pain of his past – including the death of his mum, Princess Diana – in a moving speech in Australia, as experts give the Mirror their analyses
Harry talked about feeling ‘disconnected’ after Prince Archie was born(Image: SIPA USA/PA Images)
He’s known for wearing his heart on his sleeve, but Prince Harry opened up like never before during the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s much-hyped four-day tour of Australia last week. In an emotional outpouring in Melbourne, Harry revealed how he struggled in the early days of fatherhood, admitting he felt a “disconnection” while his wife was pregnant with Prince Archie, now six. He also spoke of the trauma of losing his mother, Princess Diana.
Hinting that Meghan’s first pregnancy had left him feeling alone and isolated, he said, “Certainly I felt a disconnection, because my wife was the one creating life, and I was there to witness it.”
He also confessed to struggling directly in the aftermath of his son’s birth. “Every single time I went to work and I came back – if I was stressed, the moment that I held Archie, he would start crying,” he said in a discussion with charity Movember’s global director of men’s health research, Dr Zac Seidler.
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Harry talked about his late mother, Princess Diana, and why he blamed her ‘role’ for her death(Image: Daily Mirror)
The Sussex’s four-day trip to Australia included an Invictus Australia Reception at the Australian War Memorial in Canberra(Image: Getty Images)
Former royal editor Duncan Larcombe, who worked closely with Harry and his brother, Prince William, as youngsters, says he wasn’t surprised by the emotional outburst, having seen Harry, 41, suffer “major trauma” in his childhood – especially after the tragic 1997 car crash that killed his mother.
“He’s been quite open about his childhood being flawed and traumatic, and his personality is very much ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’, which is maybe why he is the one – as opposed to William – who seems tortured by it and why he’s making these emotional outbursts,” says Duncan. “There must have been times when that’s been difficult for Meghan, too. But he seems more unhappy now than he’s ever been.”
After Meghan, 44, filmed her guest spot on MasterChef Australia, she watched on as Harry delivered a keynote speech at the InterEdge Summit in Melbourne, where he talked about fighting against his royal destiny as a youngster.
“For me, after my mum died just before my 13th birthday, I was like, ‘I don’t want this job’,” he said. “I don’t want this role. Wherever this is headed, I don’t like it. It killed my mum, and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years.”
A young Harry with a young Prince William and their late mum Princess Diana (Image: UK Press via Getty Images)
He went on to admit he has felt “lost, betrayed or completely powerless” in the past, adding that having to put on a brave face piled on the pressure even further. The prince also talked about how he felt the need to “cleanse myself of the past” in order to be the “best version” of himself for his own children.
Child and educational psychologist Dr Ahmar Ferguson agrees that Diana’s death, coupled with Harry’s life under the royal microscope, has inevitably impacted his emotional state today, saying it also explains some of his early struggles during Meghan’s pregnancy and after Archie’s birth.
“Growing up with grief and periods of perceived emotional unavailability from a parent can shape a child’s internal working model of relationships and leave them feeling more sensitive to connection and disconnection in adulthood,” he says.
He adds that Harry’s experiences likely left him feeling “particularly attuned to emotional distance” and when Archie was born, keen to do things differently.
Harry said he wanted to ‘cleanse’ himself of his past in order to be the best dad to Archie and Lilibet(Image: INSTAGRAM/@MEGHAN)
“It’s very common for new parents to reflect on their own upbringing and step into parenthood with an intention to do things differently,” explains Dr Ferguson. “That might be wanting to be more present and emotionally available to create a sense of normality for the kids, and in Harry’s case it speaks to a conscious effort to break patterns.”
Of course, the one person who truly understands Harry’s experiences – and would have been well-placed to guide him through the early stages of fatherhood – is his elder brother, William, 43.
“Whenever I spoke to William about Harry back in the day, he was very, very protective of him,” Duncan says. “So I’m sure there will have been times in recent years when Harry missed the relationship with his brother.
“Their royal statuses aside, he will have missed having that person he turned to for support and advice, and maybe felt less isolated, especially when it came to becoming a father himself and struggling with elements of that experience.
“William had young kids already when Archie was born and he experienced the same childhood as Harry, so he would’ve been the perfect person for him to talk to, but sadly that’s not how it’s played out.”
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