The court heard the couple met through the DJ scene in Auckland and quickly developed a relationship, with the complainant giving evidence she was “love bombed”.
The woman said they had an “exploratory” relationship and he insisted on filming their sexual encounters, directing her into certain positions and then uploading the footage to porn sites.
This progressed to having sex on live cam on three occasions.
The woman gave evidence that at first, she did it so he would not watch as much pornography as he allegedly did.
She alleged he had an addiction and would be downstairs all day and night watching material.
The woman also alleged she was physically and psychologically abused throughout the relationship.
A doctor’s statement read in court said the woman went to a clinic on one occasion with facial bruises and a haemorrhage to the eye.
At the time, she told the doctor she had an accident with her son while playing.
The two week trial was held at the Whangārei District Court. Photo / RNZ, Nate McKinnon
When the relationship deteriorated and the couple separated, the man sent screenshots of the sexually explicit videos to the woman’s mother and his “entire friend group”.
“I’ll post your a** everywhere”, he said to the woman in a message.
“Living the dream, everyone is going to know everything,” said another message.
The woman made a statement to an officer at an Auckland police station, reporting that he had intimate videos of her and was uploading them on pornographic sites without her consent.
“I asked if she knew, and she knew it was live but never wanted it and said he forced her to do it, often making her drunk,” the officer said at the trial.
“She was panicking and worried about herself, and that’s why she came to the police and reported the incident.”
Days later, the woman went back and made a second statement, this time that her ex was threatening her.
The officer told the court that while she was there, her phone was constantly lighting up with emails from the defendant.
“I went through messages to get a picture of the tone of those messages. Several of them there were threats,” the officer said.
The man’s lawyer, William Mohammed, told the jury that the sexual content was made with the woman’s consent and that he had forwarded the footage during a “brain explosion”.
The man had been released from prison for prior family violence charges and when they tried to resume the relationship, it hit rock bottom.
“The kids were at stake, there was no going back.”
The defendant gave evidence at the trial, telling the court he was deeply ashamed of sending the messages, which have resulted in him having no contact with his children.
He said he sent the footage to others because his ex was accusing him of being a “porno” and he had to prove his innocence.
In closing statements, counsel for both sides accepted that the relationship was toxic and the jury would have to decide who they believed.
Crown lawyer Danette Cole said the complainant was honest and admitted there were times she did not speak kindly.
Cole said the complainant was hopeful her ex could change to rebuild their family.
“But that didn’t happen … He began to get violent again.
“She told us there was a lot of psychological and emotional gaslighting… He pretended he was going to kill himself.”
Cole said the defendant reacted in the way he did because he didn’t like his character being questioned.
“It will be a matter for you what evidence you accept, what you reject and what weight you place on the evidence you do accept,” Cole said.
Mohammed said in his closing statements that both people came to court with “significant backgrounds” and it was not a trial about who was more perfect.
“It’s not a popularity competition.
“It’s not your role to sort out this mess, it’s abundantly clear this is a toxic relationship.
“He’s seen those awful messages he’s sent and he’s told you himself that was a grave mistake.
“It’s a slice of life, an opportunity for you to peer through the glass at the dynamic of two people at their most vulnerable.”
Mohammed said the woman was aware she was being filmed but his client does not know how the footage got online.
“You’ve seen the video and you can watch it again,” Mohammed said.
“That is an example of independent evidence because her description of her conduct is materially different from what can be seen.”
Mohammed said when the man tried to piece his family back together, it turned to custard and the complainant tried to “sell a version of herself she is not”.
“I am all good and pure and he’s not,” he said.
“That’s not quite true. I suggest she is not that person.”
The jury began deliberating at 12.30pm yesterday and returned their verdicts at 7.30pm.
He was found guilty of nine charges related to physical assaults, one threat to kill and one charge of causing harm by posting digital communication.
The man was remanded into custody ahead of his sentencing in May.
Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/ Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.