Gray, who hosts the NZ Herald podcast No Such Thing as Normal, says perimenopause can intensify the symptoms of ADHD in women, which can be especially challenging for those who are not diagnosed.
“Because women have no idea about this and many don’t know that they even have ADHD, they’re still going, ‘What is wrong with me?’ And it is nothing wrong with you. This is a natural biological change,” Gray says.
Gray was diagnosed with ADHD in her 40s and says many women reach diagnosis carrying years of anxiety, burnout and self-blame.
“We come to a diagnosis with a history of anxiety and depression, and a belief that it’s a character flaw, that we’re not good enough,” she says.
“To have someone say, ‘actually, this is just how your brain works. Your internal filing system is a bit different’, it just takes a little while to adjust to that.”
According to Gray, many women with ADHD have spent years masking symptoms to everyone around them.
Sonia Gray, broadcaster and host of the No Such Thing As Normal podcast, says perimenopause can intensify the symptoms of ADHD in women. Photo / Michael Craig
“The masking is exhausting, and the mask just falls away, and you’re just like, ‘Oh, God. Everyone’s just seeing the real me, the one I’ve been trying to keep hidden’.”
Gray says there is a research gap around women’s health and ADHD, citing a recent review of nearly 1800 ADHD studies found only four focused specifically on women.
“Adult women are the most underdiagnosed of all the demographics, so there’s some catching up to do,” she says.
Despite the emotional toll, Gray believes there can be freedom in finally understanding yourself properly.
“It’s not fun, but it’s a process and the outcome can be really positive.”
Listen to the full episode of The Little Things for more on:
The hidden burnout many women are carryingWhy ordinary tasks can suddenly feel impossibleThe surprising reason some women dread filling up the car with petrol.
The Little Things is available on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. The series is hosted by broadcaster Francesca Rudkin and health researcher Louise Ayrey. New episodes are available every second Saturday.