“I honestly couldn’t believe it when we found out he didn’t have to leave,” says Jay-Jay. “I was jumping around and crying. We still don’t know what’s going to happen, but at least we have a few more weeks together.”
For Minou – who’s taken extended leave from his medical sales job in Algeria to be with the woman he loves – it’s a dream come true. He insists he’s always had faith their relationship would work out and happily admits he’d marry Jay-Jay tomorrow if he had the chance!
The couple’s unlikely union began back in 2018. Photo / Babiche Martens
“I know I will love her forever, so of course I want to get married,” he declares, gazing at Jay-Jay as she has her hair and makeup done. “It’s my duty to love her.”
Jay-Jay, who confesses that Minou already calls her his wife, says, “He’s so romantic – much more than I am! He’s very affectionate and loving, and he’s always leaving little notes for me. He probably kisses me too much! We’ve talked about marriage, but I don’t think we need to rush. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”
Their unlikely union began back in 2018, when Minou stumbled upon a photo of the former More FM star while scrolling on Facebook. Liking her smile but having no idea who she was or where she lived, he sent a playful message. Jay-Jay, bemused by a “young hot guy” sliding into her DMs, initially sensed a scam.
But eventually, they began chatting and a friendship developed. Taking a chance, they met for a holiday in the Maldives later that year, and romance blossomed. After another getaway in Malaysia, where they both realised things were serious, Minou visited Jay-Jay in New Zealand in late 2019, spending Christmas with her family.
Because of Covid border closures, the pair made the heartbreaking decision to split in 2020, and Jay-Jay started dating again. But when the star ended a relationship early last year, she realised she still had feelings for Minou and they got back in touch. Cue a romantic holiday reunion in Bali, where their love was rekindled.
Jay-Jay has battled to get their relationship taken seriously by the authorities. Photo / Babiche Martens
Since then, Jay-Jay’s been forced to become something of an expert on immigration as she’s battled to get their relationship taken seriously by the authorities.
“For anyone who thinks it’s easy to immigrate to New Zealand, they’re very wrong,” she explains. “It’s such a difficult, expensive and complex process. We’ve had to prove over and over again we’re a legitimate couple.
“We’ve had to provide our messages, photos and emails. It’s felt pretty uncomfortable and violating at times. For all those people who are saying he’s just using me for a visa, the reality is it’s pretty bloody impossible!”
However, after several failed applications, Minou was finally granted a visitor visa in June and soon afterwards, he arrived in Auckland for a 10-week stay. It would be the longest period the pair had spent together, and while she was delighted to see her beau again, Jay-Jay admits she was a little worried about how it would go.
“Every other time we’ve been together, we’ve been on holiday, and it’s been fun, exciting and amazing,” she says. “This time, though, I knew I’d be busy working, and I was worried about what Minou would find to do during those hours. I didn’t want him to be bored and miserable.”
As it turned out, Minou loved exploring the city while Jay-Jay worked. He’s become a regular at the local mosque, has joined a gym, made new friends, and happily goes sightseeing solo on an electric scooter.
The pair are from vastly different backgrounds, and Minou’s continually amazed by how open-minded and free it is in New Zealand. Photo / Babiche Martens
“Often, he’ll turn up at work out of the blue and poke his head around the door to say hi,” says Jay-Jay, who runs the Podlab podcast studio with her ex, Dominic Harvey.
Aside from a fabulous trip to the South Island and a quick visit to Taranaki, the couple have simply enjoyed being together at home in Auckland, feeling like they finally have the chance to do “normal couple things”.
Jay-Jay says, “It’s been quite a good test of the relationship because we’ve had the chance just to hang out together, cook dinner and watch TV.”
Culturally, the pair are from vastly different backgrounds, and Minou’s continually amazed by how open-minded and free it is here compared with his deeply conservative Muslim homeland. In Algeria, same-sex relationships are illegal, landlords often refuse to rent to unmarried couples, the concept of flatting is unusual, and social conventions limit friendships between men and women.
While Jay-Jay’s an atheist, Minou’s deeply religious. It’s a subject they discuss a lot, often with a good dose of humour thrown in.
She smiles, “I’ll tell him, ‘Say hi to Allah from me,’ when he goes off to pray and when Minou tells me he’s here in New Zealand thanks to Allah, I’m like, ‘Er, no, you’re here because of Immigration New Zealand and me!’ I’m lucky he has a good sense of humour.”
Jay-Jay says her feelings for Minou continue to grow. Photo / Babiche Martens
Minou’s aware he’s breaking the rules of his religion by sharing a bed with Jay-Jay, but sometimes the heart must win.
“I love her so much that it feels like I don’t have a choice,” he says. “Sometimes you have to be like, ‘Oh, my God, this will be hard to explain,’ but you have to live your life.”
While the pair are incredibly happy together, they’ve been hurt by some of the negative comments made online about their unlikely union. Jay-Jay knows that as someone who’s in the public eye, she’s fair game for judgment, but she’s still been shocked by the strength of strangers’ opinions on their age gap and Minou’s perceived motives.
More often than not, it’s middle-aged Kiwi men who are the nastiest.
“I still don’t understand why people feel they can share their thoughts on someone else’s relationship,” muses Jay-Jay.
Despite the detractors, she says her feelings for Minou continue to grow. And while they wait to hear the outcome of the visa application, Jay-Jay’s doing her best to enjoy this extra time with Minou, rather than worrying about what their future will be.
“It’s been hard, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” she smiles.
“I love that he’s so open-minded, intelligent and funny, and I love his curiosity for the world. But mostly I feel so safe with him. I’m really lucky.”