Mike Fleming lives with his children and grandchildren in Waitākere and says the move has been a happy one. Photo / Corey Fleming
On a still morning, there is the rushing sound of Bethell’s Beach and the salty taste of sea air. Fleming says he finds peace in being able to escape into the bush for a walk and being surrounded by warbling tūī and birdsong.
Fleming’s three children, their partners and grandchildren all share the property. They have a love of animals and own three goats, two Kunekune pigs, multiple dogs, a Bengal cat and an elderly, yellow-crested cockatoo named Charlie.
Intergenerational living hasn’t just eased the financial stress that weighed on Fleming and his wife but enabled him to retire a few years before 65. Meanwhile, many of his friends continue to work well past this age, and he’s noticed it’s becoming harder to save enough for a comfortable retirement.
The affordability of housing has been a niggling worry for Fleming as he has watched the Auckland property market skyrocket over the past decade.
“This allowed the kids to have a mortgage that’s reasonably affordable, and they’re not in a spot where they’re saving forever to get a house. So, it’s our way of giving as well,” he says.
Of course, living in close quarters still takes effort, and Fleming says it’s been relatively smooth sailing because they knew from the outset they would need clear boundaries and communication. It also helps that the family naturally get on well together.
“We’ve always been a very close family and there’s not too many secrets that we have from each other, we’re all pretty level-headed,” Fleming says.
“We all get together and have a BBQ and a bit of a laugh; it works perfectly.”
As a family, they are now also facing a tough reality with Mel Fleming receiving ongoing treatment for myeloma – a type of blood cancer.
Fleming says living in a property immersed in nature with all of the children has been a great comfort.
“It makes it much easier for her too,” he says.
Fleming says intergenerational living has helped his children get into homes and the family remain in Auckland. Photo / Corey Fleming
In New Zealand, data from the most recent 2023 Census shows 45,243 families were living with two generations in one home and 75,015 families living with three or more generations.
Recently, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced National will campaign on lifting the age of eligibility for superannuation at this year’s election.
As the ongoing fuel crisis, high cost-of-living, lack of affordable housing and now potential lifting of the Superannuation age affect older Kiwis, affording a comfortable retirement – or to retire at all – is becoming increasingly difficult.
A 2024 study by Massey University’s Financial Education and Research Centre found the primary drivers of rising costs for retirees were housing, household utilities, transport and insurance.
Most households, the report highlighted, even those with “no frills” budgets, were significantly exceeding the NZ Super payment and most retirees were supplementing their pension with additional income or savings.
Money expert Liz Koh, who specialises in retirement planning, says older people need to secure affordable housing when retiring; otherwise, they are essentially living in poverty, since NZ Super payments often cannot cover rent or a mortgage.
“You can get an accommodation supplement if your income is not too high, but the reality is you’re trying to live off the smell of an oily rag,” Koh says.
“This is forcing people to consider alternative arrangements … I do think people need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to secure affordable housing when they retire and that might mean doing things that are outside of their comfort zone.”
Intergenerational living is not a new phenomenon and is a source of pride for many cultures as it symbolises care and respect for older generations. In these instances, parents living with their adult children isn’t so much about financial saviness as it is fulfilling cultural expectations.
Cora Sitchon-Laquindanum (right) says she moved in with her mum Gloria Sitchon for cultural and religious reasons. Photo / Anna Heath
Filipino-Kiwi Cora Sitchon-Laquindanum says asking her mum to move into her Hamilton home was influenced by her cultural upbringing and Catholic faith.
Sitchon-Laquindanum says she would feel guilty if she put her 82-year-old mum into a rest home because caring for your parents in old age is deeply rooted in her culture.
“I think personally I won’t let her go into a rest home, I would rather get her through her old age with me,” she says.
“My mum, back in the Philippines, she looked after her sister and her mother as well. It runs down generations.
“It’s more of a religious thing, I’ve always felt I’m blessed because people tell you: you’re blessed your mum lives with you.”
Her mother Gloria Sitchon contributes and helps with some household payments such as electricity bills, but Cora never asks her for money, as she wants her to be able to spend her pension on items for herself.
Cora Sitchon-Laquindanum (from left), Rainelda Felizardo, Ronella Felizardo, Gloria Sitchon and Teodocia Felizardo. Across two households, both families are living intergenerationally. Photo / Anna Heath
She wants her mum to have financial freedom in retirement.
The lack of a superannuation scheme in the Philippines means many families pour all their resources and finances into their children’s lives, knowing their children will help them when they reach old age, she says.
“I think it’s a responsibility that was culturally embedded in us, that you have to financially look after your parents,” she says.
“If you ask any Filipino person in New Zealand, maybe 90% of them still send money back home, and their income here is divided. They might be sending money to support their nephews, not even their children, to go to school.”
Sitchon-Laquindanum’s sister also lives intergenerationally with three generations of women in the same household.
Koh says she has spoken to families in New Zealand who are exploring options such as moving to a remote area and putting a tiny cabin on a piece of land to avoid large mortgages or paying rent.
Building granny flats or tiny homes on properties for their parents or grandparents to live in is another option Kiwis are trying out to help family members in retirement, Koh says.
In Waitākere, Fleming says the financial load is lessened as everyone in the family pays into necessities like power, rates and insurance and they have a free water supply from rainwater tanks.
However, he was surprised by how difficult it was initially to raise the finance for the property to secure a combined mortgage for the family.
Koh says New Zealand and the Government are entering a difficult situation with a huge number of people from the baby boomer generation entering retirement and needing affordable housing and to be paid NZ Super.
“I know there are some people who would say ‘that’s the last thing on earth I would do, my last resort option is to move in with the kids’,” Koh says of intergenerational living.
“But you’ve got to look at all options. Your number one priority when you retire is to secure some affordable housing and then to make sure you have a lump sum of money to top up your NZ Super with, which isn’t enough to live on.”
Intergenerational living is not for everybody and some families might view it as being out of the question, but for the Kiwis embracing the bustle of life within a larger family unit, they are not merely saving costs or fufilling customs but finding joy.
For Gloria Sitchon, she loves living with her eldest daughter and says she is well looked after: “I’m happy.”
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