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Our Strictly stars™
Alan “Deadly” Dedicoat, voice of the balls (no sniggering at the back), announces our couples for the first time this year. They emerge blinking at the top of the staircase for a mildly terrified wave. Fancy dress includes masses of fringing and see-through shirts for the boys. Karen and Carlos in a football kit. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink in Chelsea blue. It’s like Match Of The Day around here.
A shout out to Dani Dyer in her surgical ankle boot. Get well soon.
Motsi looking amazing. GREAT HAIR.
ShareJudges are in the house
Here comes the quartet of Judgey McJudgefaces, aka Craig Revel Horwood, Motsi Mabuse, Anton Du Beke and Shirley Ballas. Spins, side-to-side steps, sparkle and…. a synchronised sit-down.
ShareFrockwatch
Here come our presenting pair, so time for our finery face-off. Tess Daly is dressed as an asymmetric Quality Street. Claudia Winkleman in monochrome with a silk shirt and cigarette trouser. Claud clearly wins.
A good opener with a whiff of Butlin’s/a cruise ship.
Now we’ve moved into the Noughties, with Motsi Mabuse dancing a rumba to Alone by Heart. Tune. Not enough wind machines and dry ice for my liking, though.
And now we’ve moved into the 80s with “the Queen Of Latin herself”, head judge Shirley Ballas. This is quite fun, albeit a tad self-indulgent.
ShareGroup number from the pros and judges
We open with the Strictly troupe showing the stage-frightened celebrities how it’s done. It’s a 70s Come Dancing theme with Craig and Anton in period fancy dress.
ShareNew-look titles
Our first look at this year’s title sequence. Rictus grins and novelty dance moves all round. You’ll be slightly sick of these by Christmas, especially Thomas Skinner’s finger guns.