The ordeal may have ended another way if not for one child who slipped out of the house and ran for help, a moment of bravery the Crown said may have saved the woman’s life.
Now, the man, who can not be named, has been jailed by Judge Greg Davis in the Whangārei District Court for 13 years and six months on 35 charges of offending against his family.
The court heard that for two years, the man inflicted assaults on each of his children.
There was strangulation, the use of weapons, and he stomped on one child’s face when they would not get up for school, and held the child by the throat, off the ground, while punching them.
In early 2024, matters escalated when the man became angry at the woman as she lay on her bed with her laptop.
The man was sentenced in the Whangārei District Court.
He dragged her off the bed by the hair, threw her laptop at her and told her to get up.
Once she stood, he punched her in the face, and she fell unconscious.
The man went to seek help, but then returned and moved her to the passenger’s side of a vehicle.
When she regained consciousness, she moved over to the driver’s side.
However, the man pulled her out of the car and punched her again until she was unconscious.
He put her back in the car, sat on her and drove to a family member’s house.
When she regained consciousness, while he was sitting on her, he punched her another six times to the head.
The woman managed to flee and made her way to hospital.
She underwent several tests, had blurry vision, could only eat liquid foods and was scared because the man had taken their son.
“I had never felt so low. I felt like I had failed as a mum, like I couldn’t protect and love my children enough for letting them see this life,” she said in her victim impact statement read to the court.
“I was so worried for [their son’s] safety, especially because he was not even 1 year old yet, and he needed me as his mother to provide food and nurture to him.”
The man was eventually arrested and granted electronically monitored bail to another city.
But six months later, he showed up at her address after cutting off his bracelet.
The man gave the woman cannabis, which the woman said paralysed her, then he raped her. Photo / 123rf
The woman was hanging washing outside when the man pounced on her and dragged her into the house.
He threw her on the ground and repeatedly strangled her until she lost consciousness. When she came to, he would repeat the process.
For two days, he locked her in a room and repeatedly beat her, throwing her against walls, strangling her and putting a pillow over her face, all while their children were in the house.
On one occasion, he made her smoke cannabis, and the woman said she felt paralysed in her legs and could not move. The man then raped her and she lost consciousness due to the pain being inflicted.
In another assault, he placed her into an MMA hold known as the scorpion position and every time she tried to stand, he punched her in the head. He also dragged her into the shower and ran hot water over her.
The two-day nightmare eventually ended when one of the children escaped and alerted the neighbours.
“She truly is my forever hero,” the woman told the court.
The victim said her recovery was slow, not only physically but also because of the deep psychological trauma.
“I felt shame, guilt for my children, loss of dignity. I felt powerless in trying my best to hold it all together again and I fell into a depression and was getting frustrated with my kids,” she said.
“My home started to feel like a place I didn’t want to be in no more. I would sleep on the couch or sleep in my children’s rooms because of what had happened in my bed and room.
“For every court hearing that I was informed about, I made sure I was out of town or at a family member’s house for at least two days before going home because I was so fearful his friends or family could retaliate against me because of the outcome of the hearing.”
‘I am proud of who I see’
Despite the horror the woman endured, she has since created a life for her children full of laughter, love and hugs, she said.
“I am proud of who I see in the mirror. I am proud of me taking all these steps to be the person I am today.
“I have no regrets knowing I did the right thing in being the third generation of breaking a cycle of abuse towards women in my family – so it stops with me.
“My children will know not to stand for any kind of behaviour by a man or a woman.”
The woman had some final words for her ex-partner.
“I want to give you back your korowai, your whakapapa and every negative intention you gave to me, my children and my family because it was never my responsibility to carry or hold, as well as it was never my responsibility to turn a boy into a man. That choice was always yours and yours alone.”
Defence lawyer David Reece said the man was now a changed person and was remorseful for what he had done.
“He had a good job, he had a good income but he spent money on drugs. That drug use is the basis for offending which has led him down the path he is now,” Reece said.
Reece submitted that the man had been going through a tough time following a family death, but Crown lawyer Richard Annandale hit back.
“The loss of [the family member] has to be seen against the fact that this was family violence against family members. He’s effectively pushed himself away by his own conduct,” Annandale challenged.
Annandale said if it was not for the bravery of the child, who knows what would have happened.
Judge Davis pointed out to the man that it had taken two years for the victim to get back on her feet.
“She’s had to completely relocate just to get back to a measure of reality. I have to impress upon you the significant impact on her and the children as victims of this offending.”
Judge Davis said the most serious charge was the kidnapping, integrated with the violent offending that occurred.
“You subjected her to a prolonged, sustained period of assaults. She tried to get away but you prevented her from doing so.”
Judge Davis jailed the man for 13 years and six months.
He must serve a minimum of five years before becoming eligible for parole.
Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/ Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.