Over a long weekend, I walked the equivalent of a marathon, rarely straying beyond a 2km radius of the inner city, and yet I barely scratched the surface.
In the Southbank arts precinct, I took in two exhibitions at the magnificent NGV, where a towering 5m-tall “dancing pumpkin” sculpture by Yayoi Kusama straddles the foyer. Down by the river, rowboats streaked past and dog walkers clogged the promenade.
Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama’s “dancing pumpkin” sculpture at NGV International. Photo / Joanna Wane
Across the Yarra, gritty laneways patchworked with graffiti hid secret doors to underground bars. On Bourke St, a busker wearing a gas mask played electric guitar.
At dusk, a crowd gathered in Federation Square for a sunset screening of Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away, and there was a queue at Shanghai Street for Chinatown’s most famous xiaolongbao.
The comedy festival was on, so I grabbed a ticket to see Aussie stand-up Lizzy Hoo and spotted Kiwi comic Sam Wills camped out on the footpath, promoting his Tape Face show.
Duckboard Place, one of Melbourne’s graffiti-covered laneways, was once where World War II troops came to be entertained. Photo / Joanna Wane
Another Sam was my guide on a free (koha appreciated) Melbourne Sights walking tour that passed the Old Melbourne Gaol, where Ned Kelly was hanged.
The youngest prisoner ever recorded was a 3-year-old sentenced to 12 months for being idle and disorderly, Sam told us. “He was released six months early for good behaviour.”
After the 1850s gold rush, Melbourne became the richest city in the world. It’s all about new money now. In 2023, a young billionaire bought a CBD penthouse for A$39 million, craning his McLaren supercar to the 57th floor.
That night, on Sam’s recommendation, I climbed the stairs of a converted inner-city apartment block to Berlin Bar. Evoking the Cold War, it’s divided in two – a dark Soviet bunker to the East, opulent capitalism to the West. To be honest, the East looked more interesting.
Disuko, a cool new kid in town.
I’d already dined at Disuko, a “low-lit, disco-drenched homage to 1980s Tokyo” that opened late last year with an all-vinyl playlist and a cocktail bar on the terrace.
For lunch, I’d gone Eastern Mediterranean at Cleo, a sun-drenched bar and eatery on the 12th floor of the Hyde Melbourne Place hotel, where “twin eye” brick portals frame the city skyline.
One of the twin “eyes” at Cleo, on the 12th floor of the Hyde Melbourne Place, where the menu leans Eastern Mediterranean (below). Photos / Joanna Wane
As always, though, some of the most memorable moments were also the most unexpected ones. On a behind-the-scenes tour of the Arts Centre Melbourne, the guide ushered us into a “hidden gem”, the Truscott Lounge in Hamer Hall.
Named in honour of the Arts Centre’s interior designer, John Truscott, the elegantly furnished egg-shaped room is concealed behind a one-way window and is rarely open to the public.
Truscott Lounge, where Princess Diana once held court (but didn’t use the loo). Photo / Joanna Wane
An adjoining bathroom, tiled in royal blue and stocked with lavish toiletries, was built for Princess Diana’s 1986 visit to Australia with Prince Charles.
Finding it positioned uncomfortably close to her guests, she was escorted downstairs by the house manager to use the loos on Level 2, which had been cleared before her arrival.
And that’s the power of royalty – you never have to queue.
Winter Calendar
Melbourne Winter Masterpieces: Cartier (NGV, to Oct 4): Dripping with diamonds, including a 1930s brooch owned by Princess Margaret, this love letter to Cartier was created by the V&A in London.
Winter Night Market (Queen Victoria Market, Wednesdays, to Aug 26): Mulled wine, campfire cocktails, hojicha lattes, hot jam doughnuts, live music and street performers. I’m in.
Melbourne sparkles at the Winter Night Market.
Lightscape (Royal Botanic Gardens, to Aug 2): Melbourne’s award-winning immersive light experience returns with new installations by artists from around the world.
ROME: Empire, Power, People (Melbourne Museum, to Oct 25): From priceless antiquities to a virtual soak in the Baths of Diocletian, the splendour of life in the Roman Empire is unveiled in all its glory.
A Beautiful Noise: The Neil Diamond Musical (Princess Theatre, from Aug 5): The hit Broadway production, billed as “the uplifting true story of how a kid from Brooklyn became a chart-busting, show-stopping American rock icon”.
Melbourne’s 19th-century Princess Theatre, where the songs of Neil Diamond will soon be in residence. Photo / Joanna Wane
Encore! (AMPA, from Sept 16): In its second major exhibition since opening last December, the Australian Museum of Performing Arts will display rarely seen items from its extensive archive collection.
The journalist’s stay in Melbourne was supported by Visit Victoria, visitmelbourne.com