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The pressure to always be strong, provide for others and hide emotions is taking a toll on many South Africans, with experts calling for more open conversations about mental health.

This follows the recent death of the Bafana Bafana player Jayden Adams. While the circumstances surrounding his death are still under investigation, experts say the tragedy has created an important opportunity to talk about men’s mental health and the stigma that often prevents men from asking for help.

Industrial psychologist Mpho Ashley Motene said many men carry emotional burdens without feeling they have a safe space to share what they are going through.

“Too many men struggle with silently being overwhelmed by their thoughts and feelings while trying to provide care and support to everyone but themselves,” she said.

“Not all men have psychologically safe friends or family to talk to who won’t shame or ridicule them for their mental unwellness.”

Motene said seeing a psychologist or counsellor should be viewed no differently from seeking treatment for a physical illness.

“It is important for men to have someone to talk to, especially a trained, neutral professional counsellor or psychologist who will not be shocked by any of your mental health challenges or see you as being weak for crying or talking about everything that bothers you.”

She said the pressure is even greater for professional athletes, who are expected to perform at their best while appearing mentally strong.

“The need is even higher when men are faced with a lot of pressure to perform at their level best or deliver at work like sports arenas and have something to show for their hard work through golden achievements,” she said.

“Once men in sports are famous, this can be a lonely position to be in as you are not sure who to trust with your deepest struggles or even suicidal thoughts.”

According to Motene, many men grow up believing they must always have the answers, solve problems and never show vulnerability.

“Given the sociocultural expectation of men to be fixers who can provide solutions to life problems in the family and at work, there can be the fear of failure, the overwhelm of struggling to juggle work, life, as well as relationship strain that many men silently face while trying to bravely do it all,” she said.

“This societal pressure adds to the stresses of men, thus worsening mental health struggles.”

Recent figures show that suicide remains a major concern in South Africa. Discovery Life’s latest claims data showed that in 2025, one in six death claims were due to unnatural causes, with suicide accounting for 27% of those deaths. Suicide made up 5% of all life cover claims among men and 3% among women, affecting people across different age groups.

Momentum Life’s latest claims statistics paint a different picture. Rather than reporting suicide separately, the insurer groups it under broader unnatural causes. It found that 62% of death claims among clients younger than 30 were due to unnatural causes. The insurer also reported mental health-related disability claims, including one from a 29-year-old woman living with post-traumatic stress disorder, major depression and anxiety.

While more and more men are asking for help than ever before, we know that there are still many who never reach out at all

—  Cassey Chambers, Sadag operations director

For the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag), the recent attention on men’s mental health is a reminder that many men continue to struggle behind closed doors.

Operations director Cassey Chambers said it would not be appropriate to speculate about the circumstances surrounding Adams’s death while investigations were continuing.

“What we can say is that whenever there is a high-profile death, it creates a really important opportunity to talk about men’s mental health and the fact that many men are struggling silently,” she said.

Chambers said Sadag continued to receive thousands of calls and messages from people seeking mental health support every month, including many men living with depression, anxiety, overwhelming stress and suicidal thoughts.

“While more and more men are asking for help than ever before, we know that there are still many who never reach out at all.”

She said South African men were four times more likely to die by suicide than women, not because they experienced emotional pain more often, but because they were less likely to seek help before reaching crisis point.

“Men remain significantly more likely to die by suicide. In South Africa, we know that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, but not because they experience emotional pain more often than women, but because they are less likely to seek support early on.”

Chambers said one of the biggest misconceptions was that someone who is suicidal would always appear depressed or hopeless.

“Many people, particularly men, become incredibly skilled at masking emotional pain. They continue to work. They continue to train or care for their families. They make jokes. They go out and they’re social. They achieve professionally and even appear to be coping while privately they’re feeling overwhelmed or completely alone.”

She said warning signs often looked different in men and could include:

irritability; anger; withdrawing from family and friends; changes in sleep or appetite;increased alcohol or substance use;risk-taking behaviour or becoming emotionally distant.

If you are concerned about someone, don’t wait until you’re certain that something is wrong. Reach out, ask directly how they’re coping, how they’re managing

—  Chambers

“We often hear, ‘He seemed fine,’ after a tragedy. The reality is that many people become experts at hiding their distress because they don’t want to burden others or fear being judged.”

Chambers said many South African men were dealing with financial pressure, unemployment, relationship problems, trauma, violence and social isolation while also feeling they have to stay strong for everyone around them.

“When all these pressures build without healthy ways of coping or enough opportunities to talk, they can become all too overwhelming.”

She said families and friends should not wait until someone openly says they are struggling before reaching out.

“If you are concerned about someone, don’t wait until you’re certain that something is wrong. Reach out, ask directly how they’re coping, how they’re managing, or even just say, ‘I’m worried about you.’”

She encouraged people to keep checking in, even if someone initially says they are fine.

“Sometimes it’s just that consistent, compassionate conversation over and over that can make the biggest difference.”

Motene echoed that message, saying mental health struggles affect people regardless of where they live.

“I have noticed that living in a more affluent area brings about feelings of anxiety from the extra financial pressure to stay affording life here while likely overworking, shame for saying you are not happy yet living in a sought-after leafy suburban area such as Northcliff and loneliness because you can be surrounded by so many people yet feel depressed or burnt out without any of your neighbours noticing it until something as drastic as suicide or a stroke happens.”

She urged families, friends, coaches and teammates to look out for changes in behaviour, including someone repeatedly saying they are “fine”, withdrawing from loved ones, struggling to sleep, becoming irritable or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed.

For men who may be struggling, both experts stressed that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.