He delivered a crass, veiled dig at Luxon, who often has an affectionate nature when meeting with foreign leaders with whom he has a rapport, such as Modi, who visited New Zealand last weekend.
“Labour Party, National Party, Act Party, Green Party, the next time you go to an ethno-nationalist rally to receive a foreign leader, take off your kneepads.”
Modi’s visit was the first by an Indian PM in 40 years and was described by Luxon as historic. The two nations recently signed a free trade deal.
Jones defended his party’s opposition to the India free-trade agreement, declaring it was “not racist” to hold concerns about social cohesion and the infrastructure deficit, promising to call out a rising Indian population “every day, every week, every month”.
“Labour, National: you can sign as many dodgy trade deals as you like and import people from wherever you like. Unless they’re citizens, they will never vote in the New Zealand election,” he said in reference to his party’s policy to prevent non-citizens from voting.
“To have foreigners running slave gangs in our kiwifruit industry, never paying tax, owing more to the IRD than the GDP of Kaitāia, put them on the first plane and send them home.
“That’s not racist, that’s standing up for the hinterland.”
New Zealand First deputy leader Shane Jones was in a jovial mood at his party’s convention. Photo / Adam Pearse
His speech started on a more jovial note, referencing NZ Herald political correspondent Audrey Young’s recent observation that the election was becoming focused on celebrity candidates.
Noting Act recently announced Paul Henry as a candidate, Jones mocked the broadcaster’s appreciation of nudism.
“The thought of Paul Henry, the secret weapon of the Act Party, turning up and creating a small naked colony on the backbench brings a whole new meaning to the expression ‘Point of Order’.”
Jones then pointed to the party’s own “celebrity” candidates, describing former broadcaster and new candidate Michael Laws as “our celebrity wizard Gandalf”.
Of former Labour minister-turned-NZ First candidate Stuart Nash, Jones described him as the “former Parliamentary gym bunny” and joked again about Henry in the nude.
“Stuey, in the event that you encounter the exhibitionist at the gymnasium, keep your distance.”
He later took the mickey out of Nash, who had previously dyed his hair.
However, it was his own appearance which he saved the greatest jibes for. He said he had been told to go on a diet.
“As you can see, the diet hasn’t really worked.”
Jones said he had been convinced to use medicine to help drop weight, indicating he had used the weight-loss drug Wegovy.
“I’ve got to tell you, in Parliament, it’s not only verbal jabbing that’s been happening.
“They introduced me to Wegovy. [They said], ‘Shane, it’s been proven … see if that can help you lose a little bit of weight, get rid of the double chin and be a bit more sporting-like’.
“I soon discovered that I’m one of those few males upon encountering Wegovy, you develop an odour in your breath not far from a septic tank.
“And then one daughter says to me, ‘That shouldn’t be a problem, Papa, because according to the Opposition members in Parliament, most of your content flowing out of your mouth has a septic quality to it anyway’.”
Jones ended his speech by taking a swing at National Party campaign chairman Simeon Brown, who recently criticised NZ First and Act members for behaving like children.
“When the campaign manager of the National Party described the 66-year-old Dalmatian Māori from Kaitāia as a child.
“All I wanted to say is, ‘Son, you’ve been running the National re-election campaign for 10 weeks, approximately. Your polling is 28%, similar to your age.”
Brown is 35 years old.
Adam Pearse is the Deputy Political Editor and part of the NZ Herald’s Press Gallery team based at Parliament in Wellington. He has worked for NZME since 2018, reporting for the Northern Advocate in Whangārei and the Herald in Auckland.