HBO Max; CBS; ABC
It’s the end of another weekend, so you know what that means: We’re serving up another edition of TVLine’s Quotes of the Week.
In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including “Dancing With the Stars: The Next Pro,” “Next Gen NYC,” “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” and “The Ultimatum.”
Also featured in this week’s roundup: “Big Brother” gets catty, “Days of Our Lives” gets creative with the game Clue, and “Beyond the Gates” celebrates the waffle fry. Plus, we’ve got a double dose of “Stuart Fails to Save the Universe.”
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Ryan Schwartz, and Andy Swift)
Dancing With the Stars: The Next Pro
ABC (2)
“I don’t know what it is. I already feel for this boy, and he hasn’t moved yet.”
“It’s like a puppy dog!”
Judges Shirley Ballas and Brandon Armstrong feel the way we all do when looking into Benji’s sad eyes
Big Brother
CBS (2)
“Here’s the message: America loves me and wanted to protect me against you. But guess what, Jason? Every time you looked in that camera and you gave that little pissy [face] against me, America’s laughing at you. Laughing at you, messy boy!”
We could have quoted the entirety of Angela and Jason’s fight at the nominations ceremony, but this line from Angela sticks out as especially memorable
Big Brother (Bonus Quote!)
CBS
Stuart Fails to Save the Universe
HBO Max
“Human meat isn’t kosher, but I guess that only matters if the cannibal is Jewish.”
Bert (Brian Posehn) has a peculiar response to discovering Gary’s girlfriend was eaten alive
Stuart Fails to Save the Universe (Bonus Quote!)
HBO Max (2)
“Gahhhhh… I can’t say his name! If I say his name, bad things happen!”
“Is it Voldemort?”
“I wish it was Voldemort. That’s a guy you can reason with.”
Raj’s (Kunal Nayyar) response is even funnier once you learn he’s referring to Barry Kripke
Days of Our Lives
Peacock
“Did I ever tell you I once attended a Clue-themed Halloween party as Mrs. Peacock? Professor Plumb and I did it in the ballroom… with the rope.”
Leo Stark (Greg Rikaart) really does have a story for every occasion, doesn’t he?
Beyond the Gates
CBS
“So you got the waffle fries?”
“You practically moaned the last time you had them, which is why I got two orders.”
“Listen, some girls like flowers. I want fries with that.”
Ashley (Jen Jacobs) is a woman who knows what she wants — Grayson (Jordi Vilasuso) and waffle fries
Next Gen NYC
Bravo (2)
“Why would I do that if you’re sending messages, quasi-threatening, that I should keep your name out of my mouth?”
“Sending messages, quasi-threatening?”
“‘Brooks better keep my name out of his mouth’ is, like, a quasi-threat, in my opinion.”
“Okay, well, I’m quasi-sorry.”
Charlie can only offer Brooks a half-apology for his veiled threats
The Ultimatum
Netflix
“Yes, dinosaurs are real! There’s, like, six really good movies about it. You should watch them.”
Luke makes a compelling case for the existence of dinosaurs (thank you, “Jurassic Park”)
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
ABC
“Meanwhile, we could have yet another ‘Odyssey’ movie on the way. Now, Elon Musk is planning to create what he calls a ‘historically accurate’ version of ‘The Odyssey’ using his Grok AI. And by ‘historically accurate,’ he means whiter than Christmas at Cracker Barrel. Of course, this is all because Elon and his musketeers are upset over the diversity casting of ‘The Odyssey.’ And I don’t want to get technical here, but you can’t make a historically accurate version of something that is totally made the f**k up.”
Guest host Colman Domingo shares his thoughts on Elon Musk’s next project
Criminal Minds: Evolution
Courtesy of Paramount+
“As far as Director Madison is concerned, Elias Voit shall not darken the door of the BAU ever again.”
Rebecca (Nicole Pacent) says the words many fans of the show have been waiting to hear for a while now
House of the Dragon
Courtesy of HBO
“All this time we’ve been together, from the moment you were injured, in fact, flying drunk into a battle to which you were not invited, you’ve done nothing but whinge and self-flagellate with a tenacity I find astonishing. You, who had every advantage in life. You, who had every chance to shine. Firstborn son, prince of the realm, the finest tutors, the finest knights instructing you in the sword. A dragon so beautiful, they named him after the sun itself. You could have risen to greatness. But instead, you trampled your birthright in the mud. You lazed, reveling in mediocrity, f***ing anything in sight and drinking yourself into oblivion with your sycophantic friends. I will tell you the truth: You were a terrible king. But worse than that, you are a terrible man.”
Larys (Matthew Needham) finally tells Aegon what he really thinks of him