Instead, without the family’s knowledge, the cremation did not go ahead that day as planned.
“We thought that we could pick up [our daughter] on the Thursday morning like we were told, only for that not to happen,” Buswell said.
It was not until three days later, when Buswell contacted staff to arrange a time to collect her daughter’s ashes, that she was told the cremation had not yet taken place.
“We’ve left our daughter with him, trusted him,” Buswell said.
“She was left at the crematorium for three days.”
Buswell said she and her partner were also not shown any urns or given options for how their daughter’s ashes could be returned to them.
“We were never shown any lockets or anything like that, like we should have been shown,” Buswell said.
This meant that when the ashes were finally handed over, Buswell said they were given to her and her partner in a plain cardboard box.
Unaware their daughter’s ashes were inside, her partner began to open it before she stopped him.
“No, that’s [our daughter],” she recalled telling him.
Shania Buswell and her partner Derek Calder say their daughter’s ashes were handed back to them in a cardboard box.
Buswell said the experience left her feeling as though her daughter “didn’t matter”.
“We’ve left our daughter with him, trusted him, and she was left at the crematorium for three days,” Buswell said.
“Everything just felt so rushed and like we were just some big burden.”
Christchurch Crematorium Funeral Services Group operations manager Neville Bamford said a “thorough review” found a staff member had failed to meet the standards expected by the crematorium and was no longer employed.
“As soon as the family raised their concerns, we carried out a thorough review of what had occurred,” Bamford said.
“Our review found that one of our staff members did not provide the level of communication, care, empathy and compassion this family deserved or that Christchurch Crematorium expects.
“While these failings were the actions of an individual, we accept full responsibility for the family’s experience.
“That staff member is no longer employed by Christchurch Crematorium.”
Bamford said the crematorium made direct contact with the family when the incident first came to light.
“Losing a child is one of the hardest things any family can go through, and we’re deeply sorry that the way we handled parts of this added to what was already an incredibly painful time for Shania, Derek and their wider family.”
The review also found the family had “not been kept properly informed about changes to the timing of the cremation”.
“The communication they received fell well short of the standard they had every right to expect from us,” he said.
Bamford said the crematorium had since worked closely with the family to address its concerns.
“We refunded the cost of the service, provided a memorial urn of their choosing at no charge, and arranged for the memorial jewellery to be repaired after concerns were raised that it had not sealed properly,” he said.
“That jewellery had been independently purchased by the family and provided to us to fill with ashes.”
He described the incident as “a deeply disappointing and isolated failure”.
“Every day we care for families experiencing some of the most difficult moments of their lives, and compassion, dignity and clear communication are at the heart of the service we strive to provide.”
Bamford said the family’s experience was “not what families should expect from Christchurch Crematorium”, nor the standard staff expected of themselves.
“We have reinforced our expectations around communication, care and support with our team to help ensure this does not happen again.”
He said the crematorium’s thoughts remained with the family.
The Funeral Directors Association of NZ (FDANZ) said it “immediately engaged” with the association-member funeral home involved after a family member raised the matter.
“The Funeral Directors Association of NZ extend our deepest condolences to Shania Buswell and family for their loss and for the further distress they have experienced from how the funeral was handled.
“We immediately engaged with the FDANZ-member funeral home involved as soon as we were made aware of the situation by a family member contacting us with their complaint.
“In accordance with our complaints process, the first step was for the funeral home to take responsibility for addressing the complaint.”
FDANZ said the funeral home reacted “very promptly”, including terminating the employment of a staff member who was found to have fallen short of both its own and the association’s standards.
It said this reflected the seriousness with which the matter was treated.
“We understand they were also in contact with the family throughout and had understood they were satisfied with that outcome.”
The association said its complaints process allows for further investigation and action if a complaint cannot be resolved with the funeral home involved.
“But in this instance the complaint appeared to have been resolved.
“We communicated this to the family, and had not been informed of any further outstanding issues to resolve.”
The association said its members were bound by “rigorous standards and codes of ethics” that focus on putting families first and respecting the deceased.
“They are also bound by our complaints process, which requires them to resolve any issues or face further investigation and action from FDANZ,” it said.
“Whereas there is no similar formal requirement for funeral directors who are not members of our association.
“Disappointing situations like this are rare among our membership, but when they do occur we also engage proactively with all of our members to reinforce the high standards we expect of them.”