We’re only a few days into the season, and host Scotty Cam has already read one team the riot act while another has been caught playing corporate spy.

With her eye firmly on securing House 4, Sev couldn’t resist snapping a sneaky photo of the property’s floorplan when Lisa foolishly left her blueprints unattended on the table.

“The plans were right there in front of me. I didn’t even have to go looking for them,” Sev shrugged. “I just saw an opportunity and thought Courtney and I could have a little squiz over it. I thought it could give us a little advantage if we do slide over into that house.”

Before anyone can steal the keys to their dream home, however, they have to pull off an impressive guest room. The judges’ scores will determine the official house selection order, making Week 1 high stakes.

Despite a rocky start — having to perform a sudden U-turn on their moody nautical theme in favour of a Kardashian-approved beige aesthetic suggested by Darren Palmer — Sev and Courtney are throwing everything at their space. As a commercial building site manager, Courtney has taken to the chaotic environment like a duck to water, bossing trades around with a confidence that gets results. Hilariously, none of her rivals have clocked her professional background yet, and she plans to keep it that way.

“I am not planning on telling anyone,” she smirked. “It will just come out naturally whether that’s in one week, three weeks, at the end of the competition when they see it on TV… I am not really concerned.”

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Rick has to undo his insulation from the wrong guest bedroom.

Father-daughter duo Rick and Tayla have also suffered early missteps, despite Rick’s decades of experience as a builder. After misreading the plans, Rick powered ahead and insulated the entirely wrong room, only realising his error — and having to rip it all back out — when foreman Dan pointed it out.

“A guest room is a guest room to me,” Rick offered by way of explanation. “We probably got three quarters of the way through before we realised we had insulated the wrong room.”

The blunder cost them their head start, but certainly not their motivation.

Tayla’s boundless energy and relentless enthusiasm are already grating on fellow contestant Jolene.

“I don’t know if I am going to find my people or if I am going to gel with all the girls,” Jolene complained after getting irritated by Tayla’s loud phone chatter with Sev and Courtney. “It’s like, are we all going to connect and become friends like we have seen in previous seasons? Am I just going to be stuck with Adam? I am glad I’m in the caravan. I am in my mid-40s so I am a little bit older (than the other women).”

Jolene’s appreciation for the caravan set up waned quickly, however, when her partner Adam emerged completely naked at the front door.

Taking a cue from fellow contestant Wyatt (who dubs himself “Big Dog”), Adam decided to christen himself “Insoman” after receiving a few rare compliments for his insulation efforts.

Rick also earned brownie points from Dan and Scotty for prepping his guest room completely solo without calling in extra trades. Scotty was left utterly incredulous upon learning that Rosco and Lisa had three carpenters toiling away in their room — though in fairness to Lisa, she was far too busy shopping for bedheads using her unorthodox design method of licking the one she liked. Heaven knows how she plans to stake her claim on the toilets come bathroom week.

Scotty was rendered further speechless to discover that Sev and Courtney had a staggering four chippies on the clock.

Scott is concerned the girls’ are already overspending on trades.

“Four? You’re stitching yourself up!” he declared. Sev feebly reasoned that she was saving money by making her own bedhead, prompting a sarcastic, hands-in-the-air “Well, hallelujah!” from Scotty.

“As a project manager, you have to manage your project better,” he lectured. “It can’t be: ‘we’ve got to win so we will throw everything at it’ because that doesn’t work on The Block. It just doesn’t.”

When the girls protested that they originally intended to be fiscally conservative — only to panic when Scotty emphasised how much was riding on the first reveal — the host scoffed, “Oh, so it’s my fault.”

While Scotty was happy to throw the term “stitch up” around regarding the girls’ budget, he took severe umbrage when hyper-fit couple Chantel and Wyatt accused production of doing the exact same thing to them.

After catching wind that the pair were whining about being “stitched up” after failing their first two insulation checks, Cam sternly reminded them that nobody is set up to fail on The Block; the goal is simply ensuring rooms are built properly before auction.

“Do not say those words to me. Never use the term ‘this is a stitch up’. I will blow up deluxe, mate. I will shut you down,” he warned.

Chantel and Wyatt are threatened with shut down after uttering some forbidden words.

Faced with Scotty’s wrath, Wyatt immediately threw his partner under the bus, claiming Chantel was the one who uttered the forbidden phrase.

“So, you’re stitching her up now?” Scotty laughed.

Poor Wyatt appears completely out of his depth in a hard hat and hi-vis vest. The contestant revealed how his military career was abruptly up-ended by a diabetes diagnosis, forcing him to shift his focus to health.

Now, every waking moment is spent either pumping iron or shoving protein-heavy meals down his gob. Yet, for reasons beyond comprehension, his partner Chantel — who is an actual qualified carpenter — decided to handle the shopping, leaving the musclebound PT/online coach/actor to run the construction site solo.

Utterly baffled by every aspect of building management short of microwaving sponsor meals by the dozen, Wyatt had to ask a Truecore steel rep to walk him through the plans. Even with a sketch and a painstaking explanation, the basic geometry required to plot entryways and windows went straight over his head.

“I build flatpacks and Lego, that sort of thing. But never houses,” he admitted. “I have all the gear and no idea.”

Wyatt asks everyone on site how to read his plans.

Luckily for him, Block royalty has arrived to save the day. Legendary tiler duo the Cursio brothers received a hero’s welcome this season, with every team attempting to recruit them — Rosco even tried bribing them with a box of chocolates. Rather than playing favourites or succumbing to confectionery, the brothers decided to work on the house they liked best: House 2. This means they are currently assisting Chantel and Wyatt until house selections are finalised.

Even though there is zero tiling required in a guest bedroom, Wyatt still called upon the brothers to explain his floorplan to him yet again. After offering a quick steer, the Cursio brothers gently suggested that Wyatt might be better off sticking to the gym and letting Chantel manage the site.

Wyatt remains convinced he can learn on the job, but it remains to be seen whether you can teach a Big Dog new tricks.

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Episode 1: First tears shed on season 22 of The Block