“When it comes to family, these things are very personal. They’ve been there for a long time and never bothered anyone. Mum left the sleeping Labrador with Dad to keep him company. It’s a sentimental thing.
“Mum was very upset. She was crying,” Lee said.
A sign at Purewa explained the situation, advising families that plastic flowers and unapproved items would be removed from Y Block on May 1, 2025.
The sign encouraged families to instead use natural flowers, and vases approved by the cemetery’s administration office.
Lee’s sister, who asked to be identified only as Juliet, was also offended. “Why does everything have to look the same? Why must every resting place be stripped?
Purewa Cemetery erected a sign introducing its plan to “green up” and explaining that plastic, glass and ceramic items must be removed, unless approved by its administration office. Photo / Dean Purcell
“Imagine burying a child and then being told you can’t leave a little memento or tribute; natural flowers die.”
Juliet contacted Purewa Cemetery’s general manager Alistair Crombie on July 22 to question why families were no longer allowed to leave personal mementoes on the graves of their loved ones.
“Not everyone can get to the cemetery to leave fresh flowers regularly,” Juliet wrote in her email to Crombie.
“I think this policy is uncaring and mean-spirited. The rows that have been cleared looked sad, unloved, boring and lifeless now.”
Juliet wrote that she could understand restrictions on items such as plastic windmills, but questioned how a “relatively flat concrete dog”, a painted stone and small succulent garden could pose any risk of being damaged by, or becoming caught in, lawnmowing equipment, which was the explanation she said she had been given.
Richard Lee’s sister, Juliet, told the Herald Purewa Cemetery’s Y Block looked sad, unloved and boring without the mementoes. Photo / Dean Purcell
“My mother was very upset … she especially bought that little dog to be with my father as he had always had Labradors. It had been there causing no issue for over 30 years. She lived in Napier for 11 years and was comforted to know that dad had a little companion with him,” she wrote.
Juliet received a response on Tuesday after the Herald sent questions to the cemetery.
Crombie apologised for the delayed response and for the distress caused to Juliet’s mother, Bev.
Crombie wrote that the initiative was aimed at addressing plastic flowers and other items such as windmills that are non-compliant under cemetery bylaws.
“This is proving very difficult though and we are finding some visitors really like it and some others are not keen on it, so yes there is a bit of tension about this project. We haven’t progressed this initiative very far yet, as you will have observed, due to these concerns.
“There is also a safety component involved for our maintenance staff and cemetery visitors where broken vases can be mowed over or walked on, and wire from the plastic flowers punctures mower tyres, which happens quite often.
“The berms are also not designed to hold a lot of items, so there’s also an issue with things encroaching on to neighbouring plots, that’s also quite common.”
Crombie wrote that he thought there was merit to Juliet’s suggestion of a review of the “green up” project, and he would look into it further and communicate with her about that. He also offered to meet.
“I would also like to offer you a custom-built concrete planter box designed for the Y Block berms at no charge,” he wrote. “The stone that was removed could be placed in the planter along with your plants.”
Richard Lee’s father, Bruce, with one of his pet Labradors. Bruce died on his 61st birthday and family put a small concrete Labrador on his grave.
Bruce Lee died on his 61st birthday. His family said he was a quiet man who owned a small orchard in Hawke’s Bay and loved gardening, the outdoors – and his Labradors.
Crombie acknowledged in an email to the Herald that the “green up” policy had become polarising and would take years to implement.
“We acknowledge the customer’s complaint as valid and deeply regret the sadness they have experienced. As this was a new trial initiative for Purewa, we will review how we continue it.”
Bruce Lee’s empty memorial will soon have his sleeping dog back. Photo / Dean Purcell
Richard Lee said being offered a free vase at this point “feels off”.
Juliet and her mother plan to take Crombie up on his offer to meet them.
And in the latest twist in the plot, Purewa Cemetery has emailed the family to confirm their beloved Labrador can return to its spot on their father’s grave.
A small victory for a small dog that was never really the problem.
Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland-based investigative journalist who won Best Documentary at the Voyager Media Awards. She worked for the Herald on Sunday from 2007-2011 and rejoined the Herald in 2016 after working as an award-winning current affairs producer at TVNZ’s 60 Minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.