Part of this change is welcome. People do not leave grief, housing pressure or relationship breakdown outside the workplace. Those circumstances can affect attendance, concentration and safety. A humane employer should acknowledge that.
But acknowledging someone’s difficulty does not give a manager the expertise to resolve it. My concern is that we have expanded managers’ emotional responsibilities without redesigning their jobs.
A technically capable employee becomes a supervisor, attends a leadership course and is suddenly expected to receive sensitive disclosures, recognise risk and know when professional help is needed.
For entrepreneurs and small business owners, the pressure can be particularly personal. There may be no human resources (HR) team or employee assistance programme. The owner may know the employee’s family and feel responsible for keeping them well, while also managing cashflow and their own family pressures.
A lack of specialist support does not remove the need. It leaves the nearest available person trying to meet it.
WorkSafe’s guidance on psychosocial risks identifies high emotional demands as a potential work risk. That makes support for managers an issue of how work is organised, rather than simply whether an individual is caring enough.
Managers still have an important role. They can listen respectfully, consider immediate safety concerns and discuss appropriate workplace adjustments.
They should know where to seek advice and how to connect an employee with qualified support. They also need to explain the limits of confidentiality before making promises they cannot keep.
That role does not extend to diagnosing a condition, providing therapy or assuming responsibility for another adult’s recovery. The same manager may later need to address attendance or performance. Clear boundaries protect both people from confusion about the relationship.
Through my HR Unlocked podcast, I want to keep asking who supports the people everyone else turns to. The answer needs to include practical help: an identified referral service, access to confidential advice and a clear route for urgent situations.
Training should help managers recognise their limits as well as improve their conversations.
Time matters too. After a demanding disclosure, someone may need to arrange support, record necessary information and recover their concentration. If the organisation expects that work, it should decide what other work can wait. Compassion cannot depend indefinitely on a manager’s lunch break or evening.
Smaller employers may need shared or external support rather than a large internal programme. HR professionals need support too, including opportunities to discuss difficult work appropriately and access specialist advice.
Care belongs in leadership. Unlimited emotional availability should not be the price of being considered a good manager. The people supporting others should not have to reach their own crisis before their work is recognised and properly resourced.
Lisa Oakley is the founder and director of People Associates and host of the HR Unlocked podcast.