For Generation Alpha, the first cohort born into a world amplified by smartphones and social media, the stakes are higher than ever.
Kamran, who’s planning to study physiotherapy at university next year, believes social media is “100%” a factor in people her age feeling less secure in the world around them.
“You can basically be anyone online and there’s nobody to tell you that what you’re doing is wrong except your own moral compass,” she says.
“Personally, I think it’s a good thing to be wary of someone’s intentions. Some people have five personalities, so you don’t really know which one you’re interacting with.
“But at the same time, you don’t want to be overly cautious and seclude yourself from society. It’s the balance of finding the right people to trust.”
Born from the early 2010s, Gen Alpha is coming of age in a world where social cohesion is increasingly under pressure.
Social media is seen as a key factor in young people not knowing who they can trust.
A major 2025 study by the Pew Research Centre in the United States found trust levels have fallen to a record low since the 1940s, declining with each successive generation.
Among under-30s, only one in four believed most people could be trusted, reflecting similar concerns in other OECD countries, including New Zealand.
A report by the Helen Clark Foundation, released in April, warned the country’s social fabric was “fraying on almost every measure”, amid growing isolation, financial stress and institutional distrust.
Generational patterns identified in the Pew study show young people who grow up in an environment of diminished trust are not only more wary than previous cohorts at the same age but likely to remain less trusting throughout their lives.
Public health expert Samantha Marsh believes restricting access to social media could help break that cycle here. A senior research fellow at the University of Auckland, she specialises in digital technology and the impact on youth mental health.
When Marsh speaks to parents concerned about their teens’ social media use, she highlights the difference between real-life relationships and the more superficial nature of online “friends”, who can’t be relied on to show up when they’re needed.
Dr Samantha Marsh, a senior research fellow at the University of Auckland, says social media leaves young people struggling to identify who their real friends are.
Through her work on vaccine hesitancy, Marsh has also researched the trust paradox, where a person becomes invested in a one-sided parasocial relationship with someone they don’t know.
Some overseas studies have found people are more likely to believe influencers, who may have an undisclosed financial interest, than experts such as healthcare providers.
“Kids need to have digital literacy skills, which is basically teaching them you can’t trust people online. So, in a way, we’re priming them to be distrustful of the world they’re interacting with,” Marsh says.
“There’s plenty of research that shows the more time you’re online, the more conflict you have and the lower-quality relationships you have with people.
“Part of building trust is being your true self. In person or even on the phone, that’s a lot harder to hide.”
For teens, being authentic online has become an even riskier business with the advent of cringe culture, where “tryhards” are mocked and shamed for being too enthusiastic, too earnest or too vulnerable.
Producer Nadia Maxwell, who created the recent Under the Influence video series on the negative impact of social media, says young people talk about the fear of cringe driving their every moment.
“To be cringe is social death, so they are constantly checking themselves, obsessing over detail, wary that any embarrassing moment can end up as content.
“When that’s a constant consideration, you can see how trust among peers is declining.”
University student Anna Miller says “cringe culture” punishes the qualities required for trust and closeness.
Victoria University student Anna Miller, who was interviewed for Maxwell’s video series, says a “pack mentality” shuts down personal opinions or values that don’t align with the majority.
In her view, influencers wield less power than followers commenting on their posts; straying from the consensus can leave you isolated and open to attack.
So much of being online involves anticipating how you might be perceived, Miller says, and cringe culture punishes the very qualities required for trust and closeness.
“I think young people are often adapting rather rationally to an environment that rewards caution, performance and self-monitoring over openness, sincerity and authenticity.
“Maybe the real question is not whether young people trust less, but whether we have built environments that make trust more difficult.”
In last year’s Youth Health and Wellbeing Survey, almost a quarter of New Zealand teenagers reported feeling lonely in the previous two weeks or as if they didn’t have any friends.
Kylie Ryan, head of health promotions and programmes at the Mental Health Foundation, runs the youth-led Rangatahi Rise social action project.
Young people have to be far more cautious about who they connect with and how much they choose to share in a world that’s changed dramatically, she says.
However, she believes that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because it helps them stay safe and weigh up what a healthy friendship looks like.
“I think they’re far better than previous generations at putting those boundaries in place.”
Lynfield College student Nabeeha Kamran (centre), with fellow watchmates at a three-week Outward Bound course in Anakiwa last year.
For Nabeeha Kamran, her turning point was winning a scholarship to Outward Bound, where she spent three weeks embedded at the school’s Anakiwa base in the Marlborough Sounds with 13 other teens.
A year later, the group is still in contact almost every day.
“You go into it with people you’ve never met before and end up essentially trusting them to save your life,” she says. “They’re with you at your lowest and highest moments, and you’re learning to fall back on them if you need to.”
Disconnecting from technology while on-site is a core tenet of the course, which focuses on the collective rather than the individual to bond the group together.
Amanda Wheeler, who took over as chief executive of Outward Bound in June, says the most common feedback she hears from past students is overcoming FOMU – the fear of mucking up and being embarrassed on social media.
Over the past 15 years, she’s seen a significant rise in loneliness among the young people she’s worked with and how it undermines their self-confidence.
“Any embarrassment – all the things that happen naturally in life – can go far and wide these days with social media, which really does not help build genuine connections and trust.”
Kamran, who has since taken on student leadership roles at her Mt Roskill school, says her generation is quick to judge and slow to give second chances.
After being burned in the past, she says Outward Bound helped restore some faith in her peers.
“I used to trust people a lot with what I said and did. Now, I feel like I can trust people more with certain things that are important to me, but not with everything. And I’ve learned to be okay with trusting myself.”
“Belonging Matters” is the theme for Mental Health Awareness Week, which runs from October 12 to 18. For information and resources, visit mhaw.nz
Joanna Wane is a senior lifestyle writer with a focus on social issues and the arts.