DEAR ANNIE: My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we’ve always kept separate finances. It worked well until about a year ago, when he got laid off and started dipping into our joint emergency savings without telling me. I only found out when I went to pay our property taxes and the account was almost empty.
When I confronted him, he said he didn’t want to worry me and that he planned to “put it all back.” He’s since picked up freelance work but hasn’t replaced what he used.
The problem is, I don’t trust him anymore. I’m still working full-time, paying most of our bills, and handling all the insurance and retirement stuff. I feel like I’m being asked to hand over the keys to the car he already crashed. He says I’m being dramatic and that couples shouldn’t be so “transactional.”
Is it wrong to want to keep our finances separate going forward? — Guarding My Wallet
DEAR GUARDING MY WALLET: Of course not, and a breach of trust like that is all the more reason to stay separate. A couples therapist can help rebuild what’s broken. Until then, protect yourself and your future.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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