Fame has its perks — private jets, designer clothes, front-row seats at whatever sporting event you want. But one thing it doesn’t always come with? A healthy dating pool.
For all their privilege, celebrities still face a surprisingly universal dilemma: Dating is hard. The difference? Their every move is monitored. Their trust circles are microscopic. The risk of exposure — emotional or otherwise — is sky high. While regular people turn to dating apps, mutual friends or “just met at work,” celebrities often have far fewer safe, vetted options. Dating a costar? Been there. Another A-lister? Risky. An athlete? That’s a different kind of media machine altogether.
Enter the noncelebrity partner, a person who isn’t regularly walking red carpets or making headlines. While articles may frame them as “regular people,” many of these partners are anything but — often accomplished, wealthy and deeply connected, just outside the spotlight. And when you look closely, they tend to fall into three distinct categories.
1. The money guy
In this first category, discretion is the ultimate currency. These partners tend to come from the worlds of finance, private equity and high-powered entrepreneurs. Think Reese Witherspoon and her European investor beau, Oliver Haarmann. There’s Sofia Vergara and her rumored love interest, businessman Douglas Chabbott, who reportedly has his own set of famous acquaintances. Adele and Rich Paul, one of the most influential sports agents in the world. Sofia Richie and music exec Elliot Grainge, whose family fortune predates his red carpet appearances.
“It’s very common for famous and high-net-worth clients to want to date outside their profession, as many people do,” celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray tells Yahoo. “They spend so much time at work, and having a partner who can offer them space away from the chaos has its benefits.”
Ray says these relationships are often about stability and emotional safety — especially when there’s a shared financial footing. Take Haarmann, for example, who has a reported impressive net worth reportedly around $440 million. “One can assume he’s not intimidated by her earning potential, and they share similar financial status, making their relationship seem more traditional,” she explains.
Investor Oliver Haarmann and Reese Witherspoon are dating. (Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: Rob Latour/Shutterstock, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)
What can make dating in this pool work? Independence and a grounded sense of self. “We screen and qualify all potential partners for compatibility, discretion and lifestyle fit,” Ray says. “Many celebrities are concerned about meeting people who are only interested in the fame [and] the power, instead of an authentic match.”
These partners may not be actors or entertainers, but they’re hardly “ordinary.” As Ray puts it, “The healthiest dynamic happens when both partners feel valued for who they are, not what they do.”
2. The mystic
If the moneymaker brings financial stability, the mystic offers spiritual grounding — at least, in theory. This category includes wellness CEOs, energy workers and spiritual healers, all common phrases if you’re located in L.A.
Aniston is dating Jim Curtis, who describes himself as a “wellness pioneer, author and hypnotist” via his website. Denise Richards married and later divorced Aaron Phypers, a self-proclaimed frequency healer. NFL star Aaron Rodgers made headlines when he was linked to Blu, who founded a “modern mystery school for women to reclaim the magical, radically authentic, wise, wild, unapologetic you.”
Wellness coach and author Jim Curtis is dating Jennifer Aniston. (Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photos: James Devaney/GC Images via Getty Images, Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
For some celebrities, these relationships offer something rare: stillness. “When one partner has global visibility and massive star power like Jennifer Aniston, it’s important the other offers grounding energy, privacy and confidence,” Ray says. “Spiritual types can bring that — but it can also get murky.”
Ray believes these types of connections appeal to celebrities seeking balance and serenity, in contrast to their high-pressure careers. “He can offer spiritual groundedness, peace and calm for [Jennifer], in contrast to her Hollywood lifestyle,” she says of Curtis. But just because a partner isn’t a public figure doesn’t mean the relationship is simple. “Celebrities are normal people and crave the same things non-famous people do inside their romantic partnerships — safety, love, communication, and support in all areas of their life.”
That support can be powerful — or it can create imbalance. According to Ray, “Foundationally, a healthy relationship requires strong communication, clear boundaries, agreed-upon roles and a shared vision.” Without that, fame, spirituality and blurred lines can quickly become a risky mix.
3. The maker
These are the low-key power couples of Hollywood — where one person is ultra-famous and the other is in the creative industry, but not in the spotlight.
Producer Tom Ackerley and Margot Robbie are married. (Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
Case in point: there’s Margot Robbie and Tom Ackerley, her now producing partner she met on set. Emma Stone and Saturday Night Live writer Dave McCary. Jimmy Kimmel and writer Molly McNearney have been going strong for over a decade. There’s also Jennifer Lawrence and art gallerist Cooke Maroney, as well as Keanu Reeves and artist Alexandra Grant. These are some of the quietest, longest-lasting celebrity relationships around.
These couples may thrive on shared passion and creative rhythm. They get the pressures of the job, but they’re not chasing the same kind of fame. There’s respect, alignment and often deep collaboration. Ray believes these partnerships can thrive when both people bring emotional maturity and a strong sense of identity.
“Both can work, and they require different strengths,” she says. “What doesn’t work for the long term? Someone with no sense of self who gives up any sense of identity for their famous partner. That has an expiration date.”
She notes that the partner who’s not in the public eye often plays a key role in maintaining balance. “They’re not ‘flexible’ in a passive way,” Ray says. “They’re choosing to create stability and normalcy, which requires its own strength and mutual agreement.”
Whether it’s a creative collaborator or a family anchor, the underlying requirement is the same. “That strong sense of self feels like the minimum requirement.”
The bottom line
Do these celebrity-noncelebrity relationships actually work? Sometimes … but they come with challenges most people don’t face. When one person lives in the spotlight and the other doesn’t, the emotional balance can get tricky fast. Scarlett Johansson once reflected on the difficulty of dating outside the industry:
“I also think it’s easy to create a lot of jealousy when a person is not involved in the industry, because actors by nature are very free-spirited and they create very intimate relationships with people at work,” she said. “They can be loyal to a partner and also very engaged in all these other kinds of relationships, and I think it can be a blurry line for some people.”
That blurry line — between onscreen intimacy, public attention and fan obsession — is where many of these relationships fall apart.
“The biggest hurdle is adjusting to constant public attention,” Ray says. “A nonfamous partner has to navigate scrutiny, loss of privacy, distance when filming away and schedule imbalances. I’ve seen relationships crumble when one partner can’t handle being ‘on call’ to someone else’s career.”
And then there’s the fan factor. “Sometimes a nonceleb gets harassed online,” Ray says. “They’re labeled the ‘wrong’ partner for someone’s crush. I’ve had clients receive death threats. It’s a culture shock.”
That’s why emotional maturity, not just attraction or someone being “good on paper,” is key. “Strong sense of self. Secure attachment. Passion for their own purpose,” she says. “They can’t just be ‘the celebrity’s partner.’ That’s a recipe for resentment.”
Ray’s matchmaking firm believes relationship equity is essential — not matching fame or fortune, but shared values, boundaries and inner confidence. “It’s about emotional balance, respect and understanding the roles they play in their partnership,” she says.
Everyone, Ray says, wants to know the secret to celebrity relationship success — and there isn’t one. “Normal relationships are hard. Now add constant scrutiny and millions of strangers analyzing your every move, and it’s exponentially harder,” she says.
So, can you date a celebrity? Sure. If you’re wildly secure, deeply grounded, extremely private — and possibly worth eight figures. But hey, dream big.