‘Smash the taniwha’: Riqi Harawira’s journey from addiction to redemption and being back on stage

“Substance abuse was affecting my ability to manage socially and psychologically,” Harawira said in a deeply personal interview.

Riqi Harawira has opened up on the battles he faced that had him lose his spot in the Dead Flowers, and how he is now helping others. Photo / Neil Reid

“It was dangerous … poly substance use. I was using a lot of different types of drugs. I had a desire; I needed a lot of stimulation.”

It was the mid-1990s and the Dead Flowers were a big name in the New Zealand music industry.

As well as their albums and singles, they earlier supported Guns N’ Roses in front of an estimated 50,000 people at Mt Smart Stadium in 1993.

The band – who had then had a string of charting singles including Lisa, Be Someone, Plastic, Watch Her Play and Home – were also one of the Kiwi acts selected to play at the first New Zealand leg of the Big Day Out tour in 1994, attended by 14,000 people.

An early 1990s promotional photo of the Dead Flowers with Bryan Bell (second from right) and Riqi Harawira (right). Photo / Supplied

A year later they supported Pearl Jam – whose hits at the time included Better Man – at the Mt Smart Supertop, a gig that attracted more than 12,000 fans.

But as the band’s profile grew, so, too, did the size of Harawira’s drug abuse; something he believes “unresolved childhood wounds” had contributed to the “risk-seeking behaviour”.

That included abusing heroin, amphetamines, meth, speed and ecstasy.

“Unpredictable” behaviour followed and that led to Harawira leaving the band.

“I was given to outbursts and … I guess embarrassing behaviour,” he said.

Kiwi rock band the Dead Flowers released three albums in the 1990s: Skin of a Stone, Sweetfish and the 1998 self-titled Dead Flowers. Riqi Harawira co-wrote and played on the first two. Photo / Neil Reid

“I probably burnt a lot of bridges which may not have done the band any favours.”

The drug use – and ultimate exit from the Dead Flowers – also came at a time when he was considering going solo, singing his own songs in his own way.

The Dead Flowers had earlier given him “a purpose” after being left rejected by the break-up of other rising bands he was part of.

Those splits had come after being left with feelings of rejection as a child – including while in state care as a teen.

Harawira’s journey into the Dead Flowers came after previous stints with Whiskey and Lace and My World Crazy bands – tipped for a bright future, but who broke up.

As a teen he was involved in a band that later evolved into Push Push.

Widely respected as one of the country’s leading guitarists, he was approached by fellow Dead Flowers founding members Bell and David James to join them.

His initial response was lukewarm, telling them he was having a “hiatus” after the disappointment of his previous bands folding.

Dead Flowers’ biggest gig had them support global chart-toppers Guns N’ Roses in front of 50,000 fans at Mt Smart Stadium in 1993. Photo / Supplied

But he fronted up for a band practice and quickly realised the band could be something special.

“The first practice was electric. I said, ‘Look, let’s just write a song right now. Let’s just do it. Let’s just go’. And from that minute onwards, we just started punching above our weight.”

From being “heartbroken” and disillusioned after the splits of both Whiskey and Lace and My World Crazy, Harawira said: “Brian and Dave sort of saved me. They gave me purpose again, I felt important again”.

‘I broke my heart again’

Standing on stage at Te Teko in his first gig in a three-piece covers band, Harawira asked himself: “What am I? What’s happening?”

He had set up his big “Marshall stack” of amplifiers and was playing his precious Les Paul guitar – reminders of his former rock ’n’ roll status.

Riqi Harawira went from supporting Guns N’ Roses and Pearl Jam, to playing in front of a handful people of people in Te Teko. Photo / NZME

The crowd was sparse.

“I broke my heart again. [I was] heartbroken again,” he said.

“But [the cause] was my own behaviour; a huge sense of entitlement and denial to keep me going.”

Fulltime work for a stage after his Dead Flowers exit was a job as a labourer – a role that included him moving public address systems at Auckland’s Aotea Centre.

Dead Flowers guitarist and former bandmate Damon Newton worked at the venue as head of sound and vision.

As much as he liked Newton, the thought of running into him while on the job was something he dreaded.

“I felt so whakama [ashamed], so crestfallen,” he said.

Riqi Harawira (second from right) says he always feared running into ex-bandmate Damon Newton (left) when he was moving music gear around Aotea Centre. Photo / Supplied

“I was just like, ‘Oh my god, this is terrible. You know, [from where I was] I’m actually pushing speakers in and out of venues now’. And I dreaded seeing Damon. I didn’t want him to see me because I didn’t want to be embarrassed.”

They were rock-bottom moments that led to Harawira thinking: “I’ve got to change. I have got to find a way to change.”

Healing Strings: How Harawira saved himself and is now helping others

Harawira did change and not only himself, helping countless others since the early 2000s both as an addiction clinician and now as a family harm practitioner based on the Hibiscus Coast.

It’s a story that Harawira is happy to tell with the aim that it might help others battling their own demons.

“I work with men with complex issues,” he said.

“So, if people can see that’s what I’ve done and where I am now, then it’s quite a good healing story.”

Riqi Harawira took control of his life by confronting the demons that had made things spiral out of control. Photo / Neil Reid

Harawira believes the “trauma” of parts of his childhood and adolescence was the catalyst for issues led to him falling into drug abuse in later life.

For a time he was a ward of the state. In his mid-teens he had “very low self-esteem” and too many weekends involved “drinking, fighting”.

When asked what had helped him turn his life around, Harawira said: “Self-awareness. It’s an awareness to accept the pain and the rejection, to forgive, to find gratitude.

“Tough times and strong emotions are like clouds, they don’t last forever. You build resilience and then [you can] start unravelling the maladaptive behaviours, which I’ve been doing.”

Being honest in confronting the demons of the past played a huge part in his turnaround, Riqi Harawira says. Photo / Neil Reid

The talented guitarist and songwriter also gained strength by embracing his Māori roots – that included changing his name from Riqi Hadfield (as he was known during his Dead Flowers days) to his ancestor’s surname of Harawira.

Drug free, in the early 2000s he did a year’s study at Te Taketake in addictions counselling.

Once qualified, his counselling work took him into Waikeria Prison where he worked as part of its drug treatment programme.

His role included teaching waiata and mau rākau – a traditional Māori martial art – to male inmates and helping as a peer support worker.

Waikeria Prison was Riqi Harawira’s workplace for a time. Photo / NZME

“It was a very important part of my journey, the first step into wellbeing,” he said.

Occasionally, an inmate would recognise him from his time in the Dead Flowers – as some do now in his present role – but he would “always play it down because I’m not there for that. I’d really like to be known for the change agent that I am now.”

Nowadays he works as a family harm practitioner at Man Alive in Henderson, working with men and families affected by family violence.

Riqi Harawira says helping make a difference in other people’s lives has been a source of pride. Photo / Neil Reid

His role – which has him working with the Ministry of Justice, Oranga Tamariki, Hestia and Women’s Refuge – includes carrying out comprehensive assessments to triage men in personal counselling or in a men’s group that he co-facilitates.

“My experience with the dysfunction helps me understand other people’s dysfunction,” Harawira said.

“I guess music’s always been a bit of a Peter Pan fantasy. I guess unconsciously, I always thought of it as something that wouldn’t last. I always feared not being able to find my purpose beyond music.

For a time, Riqi Harawira thought music was his voice – now he has found a purpose in working in the community. Photo / Neil Reid

“I really wanted to have a job that was a meaningful job that helped people. And I discovered that my own pain was the doorway.

“I thought music was my only voice. But it turns out that working with the community is another pathway.”

Harawira called Hawke’s Bay home for several years until mid-2025.

He has since moved to the Hibiscus Coast.

Unexpected late-night reunion rekindles hit songwriting duo

In early July, 250-odd punters packed Napier’s Kiwi-famous gig venue The Cabana to watch the Jordan Luck Band perform.

The headline band featured Bell on guitar and backing vocals.

Napier’s legendary live music venue The Cabana – the longest running music-only venue in New Zealand – was the scene of the start of a special musical reunion between Riqi Harawira and Bryan Bell. Photo / Supplied

While the set list consists of mainly cover versions of Luck’s legendary former band, The Exponents, Bell got the dancefloor pumping by leading a version of the Dead Flowers’ 1998 hit, I Wanna Know.

Among the crowd was Harawira.

Later he met with Bell backstage; one of the first times in about 15 years that they had spent time together.

The Herald was there as the duo caught up on lost time.

Former Dead Flowers lead singer Bryan Bell (left) and Jordan Luck (right) on stage with the Jordan Luck Band. Photo / NZME

“Seeing Brian reminded me of how close we were and how much we bonded through music in our early 20s,” Harawira said. “It was a very special time.

“Brian and I had developed a co-writing partnership. We used to joke we were like [John] Lennon and [Paul] McCartney. You needed that sort of sense of cockiness to believe in what you were doing.”

And that night at The Cabana has had the duo unite musically again more than 30 years after they first wrote hits for the Dead Flowers; with Bell collaborating on Harawira’s new single Patua te Taniwha (Smash the Taniwha), set to be released in late January.

Harawira sent Bell an audio clip of the song, but added he wasn’t happy with some of the verse structures.

The pair have since worked on the song, with Harawira saying what Bell had offered was “brilliant”.

Bryan Bell (sitting in the middle row) and Riqi Harawira (bottom right) were the main songwriting forces for the Dead Flowers. Photo / Supplied

The musical reunion had proved to be “cathartic” for Harawira.

“Bryan Bell collaborated with me just as we once did back with Dead Flowers, before my substance use and behaviour took me out of the game,” he said.

“It shows that life still holds surprises. It’s been 31 years since we wrote together and it reminds me that if you kia mau (hold on), redemption is always possible.

“The way this came together with Bryan was natural. I feel truly blessed to be working alongside him again.”

Not only was it a blast to work with his old bandmate again, the meaning of Patua te Taniwha – which will feature on an album called Te Karanga (the calling) – was hugely special.

Reuniting with Bryan Bell proved to be cathartic for Riqi Harawira. Photo / Neil Reid

“It means smash the demons of shame, which is about my healing journey and others’ healing journeys; feel the fear and do it anyway, don’t let the whakama of shame hold you back,” Harawira said.

“If you’re new to speaking te reo, speak it. Make mistakes. Who cares? The ones who might take the risks are the ones that acquire the language.

“The kids out there that feel misunderstood or rejected, smash the demon of shame and put yourself out there.

“My hope is that this waiata resonates with all those who feel the noose of shame around their necks, encouraging them to have the courage to rise above fear and anxiety and smash the taniwha of shame.”

Neil Reid is a Napier-based senior reporter who covers general news, features and sport. He joined the Herald in 2014 and has 33 years of newsroom experience.

FAMILY VIOLENCE – DO YOU NEED HELP?

If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault – violence is never okay.

Where to go for help or more information:

Women’s Refuge: Crisis line – 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7).Shine: Helpline – 0508 744 633 (available 24/7).It’s Not Ok: Family violence information line – 0800 456 450.Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. Crisis line – 0800 742 584 (available 24/7).Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence ServicesWhite Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men’s violence towards women.