Ancestry: Waikato great-grandmother meets biological father in Germany thanks to DNA test

“[I’ve done] so much thinking over the last two years … and to finally, actually get there and meet [him], … I would think it’d be up there with some of the biggest things that have happened in my life, through having children, through getting married – [if not] the biggest thing.

“Knowing the father that made me, to find him [when I am] at 80 years of age and to connect with him … There are no words to describe [the feeling].

“It was extraordinary. I’m still processing it, and we’ve been back three weeks.”

What happened

Halina had always believed her father was Ernest Petersen, a British-born Kiwi soldier who became a prisoner of war in Poland during World War II.

Her mother was Daniela Bem, a Polish woman from Sosnowiec.

Ernest and Daniela, who have since died, eloped in Krakow, Poland, in March 1945, before arriving in New Zealand in 1946.

No one suspected anything was amiss until Halina gifted her daughter, Wanda, a DNA test for Christmas 2023.

The results revealed Ernest couldn’t have been Halina’s father.

A search began.

Throughout her life, Daniela had repeatedly talked fondly about a German man named Hubert Kroll.

Daniela Bem as a young girl in the early 1940s. This is one of the photos Hubert kept close to his heart.

Daniela’s wartime recollections, the DNA test results, and a hidden letter helped the family piece together that Hubert must be Halina’s biological father.

They tracked him down through his niece and social media.

Last month, they all met.

Forbidden love

Hubert confirmed the love story that Halina and her family already suspected.

During World War II, nearly three million people from Poland were deported to Germany for forced labour.

In 1941, Daniela, then 16, and her sister, Krystyna, were forced to work for a farming family, the Krolls, in Germany.

Daniela Bem (back left) with Hubert Kroll (centre) with some of his siblings, his mother (bottom left) and grandmother (second from right), and Daniela’s mother (right) and sister Krystyna (back row, third from left) on the Krolls’ farm.

The Krolls had many children, including Hubert.

Hubert told Halina and her family that he quickly fell in love with Daniela, who he described as beautiful.

But a relationship was forbidden because Daniela was Polish and Hubert was German.

They would sneak around to spend time together, with Hubert fondly remembering dancing with her.

But it didn’t take long for theirfamilies to find out.

Hubert said Daniela’s father, in particular, was not happy.

Around the same time, Daniela met another man, Ernest, through her father.

Daniela and Ernest Petersen, pictured a couple of days after their elopement in Krakow, Poland.

Hubert ended up being drafted into the German Army to fight in France. He was captured and taken to Scotland for four or five years as a prisoner of war.

After the war, Hubert hoped to reconnect with Daniela, who had since gone to New Zealand with Ernest.

Hubert said he wrote her countless letters, but never received a response.

After waiting for Daniela for nearly 20 years, Hubert married an old school friend in 1964, mainly because he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life.

“I think it broke his heart that she had [seemingly] chosen someone else over him,” Wanda said.

Hubert and his wife were already in their 40s, so they never had any children together.

Hubert never knew he had a daughter with Daniela – until Halina and her family reached out last year.

Surprise visit

In 1974, Daniela went on a three-month trip to Europe with granddaughter Wanda, during which they also visited Hubert and his wife in England.

Hubert Kroll and Daniela Petersen (nee Bem) in England in 1974. Her granddaughter Wanda was with her, but too shy to be in the photo, Hubert said.

Hubert said he was surprised by the visit, because Daniela turned up unannounced.

He is still uncertain where she got his address from.

Wanda, 9 at the time, said she did not remember meeting Hubert, but has just found an old diary entry about it.

“Me and Nana caught a train to Cambridge to see Nana’s friend and she hasn’t seen him for 30 years,” the diary entry reads.

“We had a nice tea there, but we were going to go back to the Pento Hotel [in London], but I was so tired I went to bed on the chair and so we stayed there the night.”

Connecting the dots

When Halina, Wanda and their family visited Hubert, he remembered that visit.

“‘We’ve met’, he told me. And he said I was too shy to be in any of the photos,” Wanda said.

Meeting the family last month went better than any of them could have imagined, Halina said.

Halina Tilsley, her daughter Stefania Sarnecki and granddaughter Summer Sarnecki-Capper, and her other daughter, Wanda Sarnecki-Butcher, with Hubert Kroll.

“We were so accepted, [when we were] just random strangers really, yet we sat around a table like we had been there for years.

“There was no awkwardness, nothing.”

Halina said Hubert mostly just held her hands and looked at her.

“‘Who would have thought’, he said, ‘How did this happen?’ And …. ‘It hit me like a bolt of lightning out of a blue sky’. He did repeat that a lot,” Halina said.

“For me, having a dad that accepted me as his daughter … this is just awesome, so precious beyond comprehension.”

She said Hubert had been exactly how she had imagined him to be.

She described him as warm-hearted, witty, knowledgeable, humorous, and generous with his time.

The ornament that Hubert had planned to give to Daniela. It’s a Royal Doulton piece called Fair Lady. Photo / Danielle Zollickhofer

One afternoon, he brought out a special porcelain ornament that he had always planned to give to Daniela.

He gave it to Halina, who has a special place for it in her home.

“When he said that he bought it for mum … [it made me emotional]. It just symbolises the connection between mum, Hubert and me.”

Family plans

Wanda said she and her family would stay in touch with Hubert and his nieces and nephews.

They are in contact via WhatsApp every week, and Halina and Wanda are writing letters to Hubert.

Halina Tilsley with the ornament her father, Hubert Kroll, initially bought for her mother, Daniela, but never got to give it to her. Photo / Danielle Zollickhofer

They hope to see each other again and have already been invited to Spain, where one of Hubert’s nieces lives.

Halina tries to be realistic.

“I don’t know if I ever get to see him again … [but] I’m content. If I go back, I go back. If I don’t, I don’t.

“I just know who I am 1775771169. It brings a smile to my face and a warm feeling inside.

“I know who my daddy is and I’m the result of a beautiful love story, and that’s even more precious.”

Danielle Zollickhofer is the Waikato news director and a multimedia journalist at the Waikato Herald. She joined NZME in 2021 and is based in Hamilton.