Christchurch’s new One NZ Stadium: The best (and worst) seats in the house

But that’s enough hyperbole – I’m here to find the bad bits.

Too high

Welcome to the nose bleeds! Destination: Row JJ in the East Stand – as high as a ticket will take you at One NZ Stadium.

The view from the top of the stairs at One NZ Stadium – all 111 of them from the concourse to the top. Photo / Mike Thorpe

This is a hike; pack snacks from the throng of vendors you are about to leave behind on your journey to the top. Row JJ is exactly 111 vertical steps from the concourse at an incline reminiscent of the old Millard Stand at the long-demolished Athletic Park in Wellington.

There’s a sense of curiosity at the start of the climb – but by step 50, the wonder is whether you’ll have any feeling in your legs when you get there. The answer to that will vary depending on your aerobic fitness. I was numb from the waist down. That’s the price you’ll pay for a view that is unparalleled across New Zealand’s entertainment landscape.

The steep ascent puts you right on top of the action. There’s no better place to wait for your blood circulation to return to normal. A full 24 hours afterwards, my legs were still reminding me of that time we went “Sir Ed” at One NZ.

The climb will catch a few out – especially when lugging a full tray of refreshments… or rather lugging another full tray of refreshments after consuming the previous full tray of refreshments.

Too low

If you don’t want to feel like you’re sitting on the reserves bench – Row A is not for you.

In the front row, your eye line is actually lower than the players’ own perspective at the lineout. You’ll be eye-level with the actual front row as they pack down for a scrum.

And you couldn’t be much closer. At a guess, in Row A you’ll be sitting 6-7m away from the touchline. For reference, a typical sneeze can propel respiratory droplets and gas clouds up to 7m-8m. Make of that what you will.

Too far away from the beer

Back to Row JJ and specifically seat 14. Here you will find yourself bang-on halfway and higher than diesel prices.

Row JJ Seat 14. As high as you can go and right on halfway. Incredible view, terrible spot to need a beer. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Refuelling from this position will be just as painful – 222 steps won’t lie. If you’re heading to a game with a crowd, my advice is to offer to buy the first round before you set off to your seats.

Once lubricated with the beverage of your choice (and there are many choices), you’ll enjoy sitting in arguably the best viewing seat in the stadium. You’ve earned it.

Now, where are the loos?

Row CC Seat 55. The bladder-buster. The furthest you’ll be from the loos with the most spectators you’ll have to shuffle past. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Too far from the toilet

This is probably Row CC Seat 55. The bladder-buster. Perched high up in the southwestern corner, you’ll find yourself smack bang in the middle of the longest row in the stadium. You’ll say, “excuse me”, “sorry”, “thank you” and “I’ll be back” to 17 people on your way to the aisle before making a not-insignificant descent to the concourse. Relief will be found in some of the nicest bathrooms a stadium could ask for.

“Sorry”, “I’m back”, “there’s no queues if you go now”, “thank you”, “excuse me”.

And just like that, you’re back at Row CC Seat 55. Should’ve got some chips.

Right behind the big screen at the southern end. Unobstructed views of the field – but you’ll get plenty of traffic if you’re on the aisle seat. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Too much traffic

Same row, different seat. The aisle custodian at CC-73 could see a procession of toilet-trekkers, beer-buyers and snack-seekers pass by them. However, unlike other stadiums, there is a sensible gap between seats, meaning you shouldn’t have to stand to let them shuffle past. This is a huge shift in comfort from Christchurch’s previous stadium.

The rows at Apollo Projects Stadium were so tight your knees could touch the seat in front. To let somebody through, you’d have to shuffle to the left or step to the right before bringing your knees in tight. Next thing you know, you’re doing the sitting time-warp – minus the pelvic thrusts, of course.

No more awkward squeezes. Results may vary.

Beer, please! The seat next to the mini bar could make you the unwitting barman. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Too close to the beer

How can that be? Welcome to the corporate suites. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and comforts – but one seat could be bittersweet. Some rows in the Western Stand include a mini bar. The small refrigerators hold a couple of dozen drinks, catering for the five seats adjoining them.

Bliss, surely? Yes, but the person sitting next to the fridge will become a surrogate barman for the four other people in the row.

The requests will get tired. “Sorry, mate – can you … ”

The wedge. The bottom row is only three seats across. Also note how close the front rows are to the action. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Too weird

The northern end of the stadium is where the seating bowl is broken. A wide gap is where a temporary stand will be erected for big matches (like All Blacks tests) and where the stage will be built for concerts.

To the immediate left and right of that gap are a couple of wedge-shaped stands that get skinnier at the bottom. By the time you’ve reached the front row, it is only 3 seats across. This would have more charm (how good is your own row?) if it wasn’t for the fact that the aisle seat offers a seriously compromised view due to a necessary safety feature.

It is officially considered “restricted view seating”, so the price of that seat (if offered for sale) would reflect that. It is one of only a handful of bad seats.

Again, by comparison, Apollo Projects stadium was held up by a row of poles that, by the law of Murphy, always seemed to be between the spectators’ eyeballs and the action on field.

Lancaster Park had a full house of restricted-view seats during the Super Rugby final of 2006 when thick fog rolled in. There’s some certainty that fog will not impact play at One NZ Stadium.

Restricted viewing. The safety barrier at the bottom of the stairs prevents people from tumbling over. It also prevents spectators in that seat from a full view. Also note the gangway in the roof rafters – a unique opportunity? Photo / Mike Thorpe

The best seat not for sale

If you’re not good with heights, this idea might sound like a nightmare, but there is one view that this stadium could offer to truly set itself apart from any other.

A steel gangway that sits in the rafters of the solid roof section stretches from the Western Stand to almost the front row of the Eastern Stand. If it was ever used for a select group of spectators, you’d have a view like a human spider-cam.

It’s not without precedent. Several stadiums offer roof walks during cricket matches. Eden Park has its own roof-walk experience. None of those stadiums has a roof, though. At a premium price, One NZ Stadium could potentially offer the best seat in the house.

Until then, there are about 24,996 cracking views. Enjoy, Canterbury. You’ve waited long enough.

The wait is nearly over. One NZ Stadium in Christchurch will make its debut next Friday night. Photo / Mike Thorpe

Mike Thorpe is a senior multimedia journalist for the Herald, based in Christchurch. He has been a broadcast journalist across television and radio for 20 years and joined the Herald in August 2024.