Fred Mitchell, 33, died suddenly on July 12 after years battling ADHD, worsening mental health and addiction.
His parents Caroline and Kevin say the shock of losing him, and stories of his quiet kindness, inspired them to set up Fred’s Place, a charity and hub for men struggling to find help.
Fred, who lived in Andover, was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but reacted badly to medication, so his family managed it through diet, routine and sport.
Fred Mitchell with his mother Caroline Mitchell (Image: Caroline Mitchell)
As he grew older, Fred self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, falling into addiction that pushed him away from help and those closest to him.
Caroline said: “Fred loved people and he loved life.
“He was always there for everyone else, helping friends out of abusive relationships, supporting people when they lost loved ones.
“But when it came to his own struggles, shame and fear held him back.
“He just couldn’t bring himself to say ‘I need help’.”
In the last few years, a series of family bereavements and personal setbacks left Fred increasingly isolated. His parents now believe that, at times, his calls and long conversations were attempts to reach out without knowing how to say what he really needed.
Kevin explained: “That’s part of why we want Fred’s Place to exist.
“We want a space where men can come without judgment, where they don’t have to find the perfect words.
“If they’re struggling with ADHD, mental health, or addiction, they can just walk in, have a coffee, and start somewhere.”
The couple hope to open a charity-linked coffee shop where men feel more comfortable than they would in a clinic or office. They want men to drop in for a bacon sandwich and coffee, then quietly tell staff when life is hard.
The parents have already developed one simple idea to make that first step easier: a discreet “wooden spoon” code. At a partner café or future Fred’s Place premises, anyone feeling vulnerable could ask for a wooden spoon with their drink. Charity-trained staff would recognise the request as a call for help and gently offer a private chat.
Fred Mitchell. (Image: Caroline Mitchell)
Caroline said: “There’s so much shame around ADHD, mental health, and addiction.
“We know from Fred’s experience that people often self‑medicate with weed, cocaine, or alcohol because they don’t know where else to turn.
“We want to offer another way, somewhere they can speak to someone who understands, be signposted to proper help, or eventually get funding for an ADHD assessment without waiting years.”
As well as creating a physical hub, the family hope to build a network of professionals and organisations, from local mental health charities to addiction services, so Fred’s Place can help men navigate a system that often feels fragmented and overwhelming.
They also want to support families carrying the “should have, would have, could have” guilt of watching a loved one battle addiction and mental illness.
Caroline and Kevin have raised £5870 for Fred’s Place, mainly through local social media and word of mouth.
They are also seeking trustees, volunteers and people with experience of ADHD, mental health problems and addiction to build a registered charity for Fred’s hometown.
Caroline said: “Fred would be mortified to be the face of a charity, but he’d be incredibly proud if it meant even one person didn’t have to walk the path he did on their own.
“That’s what this is about, compassion, Andover looking after its own, in Fred’s name.”
To keep informed on the charity’s updates, visit their Facebook page on: facebook.com/profile.php?id=61592133041072 and to donate to their GoFundMe page, visit: gofundme.com/f/help-us-create-freds-place.