There are many of us who grew up feeling like our emotions were “too much,” or that we were simply “too sensitive.” Maybe you were called “dramatic” when you tried sharing your perspective. Maybe you were told to “toughen up” while crying about an injury or insecurity. Whatever the case, you are likely familiar with the experience of feeling as if your emotions, concerns or viewpoints were easily dismissed.
Dr. Sasha Hamdani (known online as @thepsychdoctormd with one million followers on Instagram), a renowned board-certified psychiatrist and one of the country’s leading mental health experts, understands this experience well. So well, in fact, that she wrote her newest book on the topic: Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply (out August 25).
The book cover also says: “Understanding RSD and turning emotional sensitivity into strength.” RSD stands for rejection sensitive dysphoria, which Cleveland Clinic defines as “when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected.”
Here, Dr. Hamdani weighs in on whether this type of rejection in a conversation says more about the person using a dismissive phrase, or the person they’re about. She also tells Parade why some people are quick to disregard someone’s feelings rather than validating them in their responses, and how to best communicate with condescending individuals.
Related: 12 Signs You Might Be a ‘Highly Sensitive Person,’ According to a Therapist
Do Dismissive Phrases Say More About the Person Saying It, or the Person They’re About?
When someone uses a dismissive phrase like “toughen up” or “you’re too sensitive,” does it say more about the person speaking, or the person being talked about?
Dr. Hamdani explains, “I’m not sure because each scenario has a unique context, but I do think that sometimes when someone says ‘toughen up,’ they may be uncomfortable with emotion, unsure how to respond or trying to shut down a feeling they do not know how to hold.”
On the other hand, “That does not mean the sensitive person is reacting perfectly or that every feeling needs to dictate the outcome,” she adds.
However, either way, these comments are not helpful.
“But dismissive phrases usually do not help anyone regulate; they just add shame on top of pain (and I know anyone who has heard those phrases repeatedly agrees with that!),” she tells Parade.
Related: 11 Phrases To Use if Someone Says You’re ‘Too Sensitive’
The Best Phrase to ‘Instantly Shut Down’ a Dismissive Person
When someone is dismissing your feelings, it can be hard to know exactly how to respond. So, how does a psychiatrist suggest shutting down this type of rejection?
First things first, Dr. Hamdani stresses, “I would be careful with the idea of ‘shutting someone down,’ because the goal is not to win the interaction. The goal is to protect your emotional reality without escalating the dynamic.”
That being said, she has a go-to response that she recommends.
“A phrase I often like is: ‘You do not have to agree with my feelings for them to be valid,'” she reveals. “It is direct, grounded and it reminds both people that emotional validation is not the same thing as admitting fault.”
3 Other Expert-Backed Responses To Use
Besides “You do not have to agree with my feelings for them to be valid,” Dr. Hamdani has other go-to responses she recommends.
“I think it helps to have a few phrases ready because when you are emotionally flooded, language can disappear,” she tells Parade, explaining that you might use one of the following responses:
“I am not asking you to fix this, I am asking you to hear me.”
“When you dismiss this, it makes it harder for me to feel safe in this conversation.”
“I can take accountability for my reaction, but I still need you to acknowledge the impact.”
“The key is to stay anchored in your experience without over-explaining or begging someone to care,” she shares.
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Related: 7 Signs You’re Not ‘Too Sensitive’—You’re Actually Highly Perceptive, a Psychologist Says
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This story was originally published by Parade on Aug 25, 2026, where it first appeared in the Life section. Add Parade as a Preferred Source by clicking here.