“I was so swept up in early stages of relationships that I overlooked deeper stuff,” Lesina reflects. “We view things really differently and neither perspective is right or wrong, but there was too much we didn’t gel on. Like communication and conflict resolution.
The star ended her Bachelorette NZ stint by choosing none of the eligible contenders. Photo / Woman’s Day
“It’s always important that each person in a partnership really understands their own attachment styles as well as the other person’s. Without that, unhelpful patterns can start forming.”
Still, Lesina remained “super-hopeful” they would pull through.
“I was holding onto glimpses of the good times, but that wasn’t our reality. The bad times were outweighing the good.”
The two even attended therapy but ultimately ended their engagement.
“I genuinely thought he was The One and I’d never felt that before. It was a hard thing to let go of because I thought, ‘What if I don’t feel that again?’ But I’ve realised love alone isn’t enough to keep a healthy, sustainable relationship alive.”
Loved ones showered her with support after the split, turning up for sleepovers, dinner dates and movie nights.
Lesina has since been working on herself and reflecting on how they each contributed to the relationship’s breakdown. She’s also been reading relationship guide Attached and Secure, and utilising her “happy list”, which includes nature walks with her bestie and Duck Island’s milk chocolate fudge ice cream.
Dr Lesina Nakhid-Schuster with her friend Thinh. Photo / Woman’s Day
And while she remains busy with an intense five-year training programme to become an ear, nose and throat surgeon, she’s also getting back out there.
Lesina shares, “It’s been easier than entering the dating scene after previous break-ups because I know myself and my needs so well now, which is empowering.
“Having a cool, aloof partner’s spicy and exciting, but I need someone who’s stable and grounded. It sounds boring, but I live such a big life with so much going on, so I need someone who’s happy, secure and supportive of that.”
The split isn’t the only low Lesina has endured in recent months. She’s still devastated by the loss of her bestie Thinh, who went swimming one weekend in Tauranga and drowned. Lesina was at work when she got a call from police who were trying to contact his family in Vietnam.
“That was a hard one,” she says. “More tears than the break-up. He was so young and bright, so it was totally tragic.”
Dr Lesina Nakhid-Schuster at a Christmas gathering. Photo / Woman’s Day
The low was followed by the high of her visit to sister Shani and brother-in-law Eric in New York, where her family gathered for Christmas and Santiago’s birth.
“We were there six weeks and went to the hospital with her. We’re that family where they have to go, ‘OK, visiting hours are done now!’
“It reminded how much I can’t wait to have my own kids,” admits Lesina, who’s considering freezing her eggs. “Of course, now I’m like, ‘Who am I going to have kids with?’ But on social media, so many people are like, ‘I’m a late mum,’ which is encouraging. I’ll face any challenges when the time comes.
“But I’m still excited for all those things and haven’t lost hope. I’m big on manifesting, so it’ll happen, but my person’s just taking a while. Come on now!”