First-time feature director Paloma Schneideman delivers a classic Kiwi coming-of-age movie

Review by

Sarah Watt

Film reviewer·New Zealand Listener·

9 Oct, 2026 05:06 PM3 mins to read

Sarah reviewed for the Sunday Star Times until 2019. After a career change to secondary school teaching, she now she works in alternative education with our most disadvantaged rangatahi.

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Life’s a beach: Newcomer Ani Palmer excels as Sid. Photo / Jen Raoult

Big Girls Don’t Cry, directed by Paloma Schneideman, is in cinemas now.

This remarkably assured and compelling New Zealand feature takes the coming-of-age genre in a disarmingly moving direction. Anyone who was once a 14-year-old girl will find some resonance in the travails of teenager Sidney Bookman, played with
startling luminosity by quiet newcomer Ani Palmer.

Socially awkward, pensive and yearning for connection, Sid shares her uncomfortable existence with her misanthropic solo dad (a brilliantly dark and hilarious turn by Australian actor Noah Taylor) and the infrequent visits of older sister Adele (Tara Canton).

When Adele comes home for the summer holidays with new American friend Freya in tow (The Summer I turned Pretty’s Rain Spencer) Sid finds herself beguiled by the self-assured exchange student, who brings a nonchalant erotic frisson to the beach suburbs populated by an influx of spoiled Auckland teens there to party at their parents’ Ōmaha baches.

But just like all of us once upon a time, Sid also longs to fit in.

Portraying relatable scenarios while avoiding the narrative clichés that normally plague the genre, director Paloma Schneideman depicts a youth ostensibly set in the early 2000s that is beautifully reminiscent of many a Kiwi kid’s upbringing.

Making her feature directorial debut with her own script, Schneideman’s predominantly female crew included the talented cinematographer Maria Ines Manchego, whose astute eye elevated previous Kiwi coming-of-age movies We Were Dangerous and Uproar, as well as Caterpillar from earlier this year.

Her work here demonstrates the crucial distinction between filming youthful bodies as the subject of Sid’s reflective fascination, and objectifying them for the audience. As the camera glides across bikini-clad cleavage and sun-kissed torsos, it’s all from Sid’s point of view – positioning the viewer as achingly empathetic to the young teen’s confused sexual awakening.

The cast is perfect, from Taylor’s raging dad to the cool girls and cruel guys who exploit Sid’s desperate need for inclusion. But it’s Palmer, appearing in every scene, whose Sid effortlessly anchors this deeply real and painfully authentic story. Schneideman’s screenplay beckons Sid down difficult paths yet cleverly sidesteps the outright histrionics of young-person TV dramas like Euphoria, placing this squarely in the Kiwi experience.

At the same time, there are universally relatable situations: Sid may be grappling with queer leanings, but in her burgeoning exploration of identity and self-acceptance she also has to contend with the heterosexual pressures that go hand in hand with gaining “popularity”.

These well-realised scenes are discomforting for any viewer, particularly in the current climate where headlines about consent and coercion abound. The film prompts the sobering reflection that growing up has always been perilous, knocking off the rose-tinted glasses often worn by safer, less honest coming-of-age fare.

From the vintage Warehouse TV jingles to the excruciatingly slow dial-up internet, Big Girls Don’t Cry acts as both a squirm-inducing trip down memory lane and a reminder that we all went through it – and we all came out okay.

Rating out of five: ★★★★★

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