“I was at home struggling with the two kids. My wife’s saying, ‘John, look, you’re a psychologist. Would you please do something?’ And I’m like, ‘Okay, what am I gonna do here?’
“We turned to Nigel’s books.”
Aiken remembers a particular piece of advice he still calls on.
“When they’re playing up, when they’re pushing back, make the problem their problem.”
He says that rather than stepping in to fix every problem, he puts the responsibility back on his children.
“That really stayed with me throughout my entire parenting life because it was very easy for me just to go, ‘Oh, it’s not their problem, it’s my problem. I’ve gotta solve it for them.’
“It’s okay to make it their problem to see what they do about it because they’ve gotta learn.”
Aiken says he even draws on Latta’s advice when dealing with challenging participants on Married at First Sight.
“You’ve crossed that boundary. You’ve behaved poorly. Now what are you gonna do about it?”
Now Aiken isn’t just relying on Latta’s work; he’s also bringing it to the screen.
Lessons on Living is a new three-part documentary based on Latta’s book of the same name. It explores three of Latta’s principles for navigating life’s challenges, and Aiken is fronting the series.
When he was invited to be involved, Aiken says he needed a few assurances before he would agree to take part.
One was that Ruckus Media, the team behind much of Latta’s previous TV work, would also produce this project.
“I wanted it to be authentically Nigel’s, and they knew how to do it.”
Another condition was ensuring that Latta’s brother Craig and wife Natalie were on board with the project.
“If I couldn’t have them, then it just wouldn’t work.”
Aiken says taking on the documentary came with considerable responsibility, particularly given Latta’s legacy.
“There’s a lot at stake, and I felt like I’ve really gotta deliver.”
Listen to the full episode for more from John Aiken on:
Losing his colleague and friend Mel SchillingThe problem with dating appsWhy he believes resilience is something anyone can develop
Lessons on Living is available on Sky Open, ThreeNow and Neon
Ask Me Anything is an NZ Herald podcast hosted by former Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett. New episodes are available every second Sunday.
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