All the news you need to know from the week that was…

PublishedSeptember 6, 2025 8:06 AM EDT•UpdatedSeptember 6, 2025 8:06 AM EDT

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Well, well, well; if it isn’t another Saturday morning? So, what better way to start than by getting caught up on all the news you may have missed this week with a little help from another edition of The Punch-Up?

I can’t think of one.

What a week it was, too. We had Sabrina Carpenter debuting some new moves, Steve Buscemi explained that pretty much everyone says his name wrong, and the decision to add commercials to NFL RedZone might be the least popular one ever.

All the news you need to know from the week that was… (Getty Images)

So, let’s dig right on in, shall we?

Sabrina Carpenter performed a pole dance in her latest music video. This has left fathers around the nation wondering how they’ll explain what it is she’s doing without sounding too much like they know a lot about it.President Trump announced that the US Space Command will move from Colorado to Alabama. The old location will now be turned into a Spirit Halloween store.Air Force football fans can order nachos served in a cardboard container shaped like a B-2 bomber. Fittingly, by halftime, most of the toilets in the stadium looked like they had been hit by a B-2 bomber.Steve Buscemi has finally revealed the correct way to pronounce his last name. It turns out it’s actually, “Hey, there’s that guy from that thing!”Orlando Bloom says he survived on tuna and cucumbers to lose weight for his latest movie. Fortunately, he was able to shed even more dead weight by breaking up with Katy Perry.The only female starfighter pilot in STAR WARS: Episode I: The Phantom Menace says George Lucas yelled at her for wearing lipstick. He was reportedly upset because he wanted to put lipstick on her using CGI.The son of celebrity chef Guy Fieri has married Tara Bernaśoni, the world’s No. 1-ranked pickleball player. Coincidentally, dinner included Guy Fieri’s signature pickle balls as an appetizer.For the first time, NFL RedZone will include commercials. It’s not because they’re selling out. Scott Hanson just really needs time to pee.

Got all of that?

Good. See you back here next week.