For example, her father was often worried he had forgotten to take his daily heart medications.<\/p>\n
Maria said Bill would call up her sister Jeannette and argue because he was worried his medication had been missed, or call up the pharmacy and ask for another prescription.<\/p>\n
Nothing worked to help reassure Bill that he had taken his medicines: when Maria and Jeannette got him to sign on a calendar he had taken his pills, he would later argue it wasn\u2019t his handwriting.<\/p>\n
After finding her sister stressed out, Maria devised a loving lie to tell Bill<\/a>: he didn\u2019t need to take the heart pills anymore because the doctor said he was in good health.<\/p>\n The loving lie worked almost instantly, helping Bill become less worried within just a few days, Maria says.<\/p>\n It also didn\u2019t stop him from taking his pills when he needed to – he simply took them, then would forget five minutes later, she says.<\/p>\n Maria says the six years she spent helping look after her parents with dementia in their own home<\/a> was like looking after teenagers – they often didn\u2019t want to shower and couldn\u2019t make meals for themselves.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was quite stressful. Over those almost six years, I learnt a lot because my sister and I had no idea\u201d.<\/p>\n While Bill was sometimes angry, anxious and confused<\/a> – including having vision problems – Rosa was happy and joyful, she says.<\/p>\n Both ended up having to go into care, when it became too hard to keep them in their own home.<\/p>\n By this stage, they had very little awareness of where they were, with Rosa often standing in her own kitchen and saying \u201cI want to go home\u201d, Maria says.<\/p>\n \u201cThey couldn\u2019t be together [in the end]. Dad lost the love of his life and he was devastated but Mum absolutely loved it – she thought she was on holiday.\u201d<\/p>\n Maria also ended up working in the same rest home, as a part-time diversional therapist.<\/p>\n \u201cAt the rest home I thought I knew what I was doing and I fell flat on my face because I found out what worked for Mum and Dad didn\u2019t work for anyone else. I realised everyone with dementia is so different.\u201d<\/p>\nMaria Nicol says her late parents, Rosa and Bill Corbett, were her biggest teachers about dementia, leading to her starting Dignified Minds. Photo \/ Denise Piper<\/p>\n
Maria Nicol says her mother Rosa Corbett was mostly happy when living with dementia and thought she was on holiday when she had to go into care. Photo \/ Denise Piper<\/p>\n