{"id":105818,"date":"2025-10-28T20:50:23","date_gmt":"2025-10-28T20:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/105818\/"},"modified":"2025-10-28T20:50:23","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T20:50:23","slug":"i-felt-big-emotions-to-my-core","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/105818\/","title":{"rendered":"‘I felt big emotions to my core’"},"content":{"rendered":"

A Christchurch woman who felt life was no longer worth living has become the first person to take clinically prescribed psilocybin to help treat her depression. Gill Higgins reports.<\/p>\n

For decades, Alice Brent has lived under the heavy weight of depression \u2013 a relentless illness that no medication, therapy, or effort could shift.<\/p>\n

‘Everything ceased to exist’: Watch this story on TVNZ+<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI think I was first diagnosed when I was about 18,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s never gone away. It starts with feeling kind of devoid of any emotion\u2026 and it can get to a point where it\u2019s just despair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Alice<\/p>\n

Alice Brent (Source: 1News)<\/p>\n

There were times she thought the world, and her family, might be better off without her. \u201cMy husband wouldn\u2019t feel this need to fix something he can\u2019t fix. My children wouldn\u2019t have to worry about what they say around me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Alice<\/p>\n

Alice Brent, at home with her husband Jono. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

Alice Brent went to see Christchurch psychiatrist Dr Cameron Lacey. He\u2019s the first and only psychiatrist in New Zealand authorised to prescribe psilocybin (administered in a clinical setting) for treatment-resistant depression. His approval came after years of research into psychedelic therapy and a rigorous assessment due to its potential risks \u2013 for example, psilocybin can cause psychotic symptoms in vulnerable individuals. <\/p>\n

\"Dr<\/p>\n

Dr Cameron Lacey (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

But Brent felt lucky to be \u201cwith the right psychiatrist at the right time\u201d. She was ready and willing to be the first person in New Zealand to legally receive psilocybin \u2013 the active ingredient in \u2018magic mushrooms\u2019 which until now has only been used recreationally and illegally \u2013 as part of her treatment for depression.<\/p>\n

\u201cUntil now, nothing\u2019s worked,\u201d she says. \u201cThere were times I felt I had no future.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Alice<\/p>\n

Alice Brent’s depression has been debilitating. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

Disrupting ‘entrenched, unhelpful patterns’<\/p>\n

As for Dr Lacey, he welcomes the opportunity to have another therapy option for people who feel they have nowhere to turn. \u201cIf you think of depression as having entrenched, unhelpful thinking patterns about yourself and your connection to the world,\u201d he explains, \u201cpsilocybin gives you the potential to see things from a very different perspective.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"lice<\/p>\n

lice Brent, pictured before the treatment, kept a daily video diary throughout the experience. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

He\u2019s at pains to emphasise that the psilocybin pill is only one small part of the overall therapy. Unlike with recreational drug use, patients have several weeks of psychotherapy sessions leading up to the treatment day, followed by weeks\u2019 more psychotherapy after the treatment to unpack the experience. The patient also has to carefully taper off antidepressants before dosing. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s very intense,\u201d says Lacey. \u201cPeople can experience a whole range of challenging thoughts, emotions and memories, so they need to be carefully prepared and supported.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Pre-psiolocybin<\/p>\n

Pre-psiolocybin nerves: Alice and Jono driving to the clinic on the day of the treatment. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

On dosing day itself, the patient receives a \u201chero\u201d dose of psilocybin. The single pill will transport them into a psychedelic state for around five hours. Brent says she was nervous. \u201cI felt jittery. I hoped I\u2019d done everything I could to make it work.\u201d<\/p>\n

While cushioned in a comfy chair with a warm throw, she swallowed the capsule, put on an eye mask and headphones, and lay back as two clinicians guided her through the session.<\/p>\n

\"Music<\/p>\n

Music is a key element of the psilocybin treatment. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything else ceased to exist,\u201d she recalls. \u201cIt was like I was in a green, beautiful forest with dappled sunlight\u2026 and then the music changed, which really changes the dynamic. I felt sorrow. I felt anger. They were big emotions and I felt them to my core. There was a lot of crying. I think I was tripping for about five hours and I don’t think I was expecting the sorrow.”<\/p>\n

The journey wasn\u2019t easy but Brent has no regrets. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t pleasant, but it was extremely insightful. I wouldn\u2019t want to do it again. I really wouldn’t.”<\/p>\n

\"Alice<\/p>\n

Alice and Jono Brent at home. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

‘This is where the hard work begins’<\/p>\n

Two weeks on, Brent says the hardest work is still ahead. \u201cI\u2019ve been left at times thinking, I don\u2019t know if I can do it but I don\u2019t want to go back on antidepressants. I think this is where the hard work begins.\u201d<\/p>\n

Psilocybin therapy has already been approved in Australia and used by thousands worldwide, with about two thirds of patients reporting significant improvements. <\/p>\n

\"Where<\/p>\n

Where to get help. (Source: 1News)<\/p>\n

Here, Lacey says about 40 patients have been referred for the therapy. Of these, 15 were found to be suitable following a strict screening process and seven are proceeding with treatment. <\/p>\n

One barrier is the cost. A single course of psilocybin with the weeks of psychotherapy in this country can cost about $20,000. The high cost is largely due to the clinician hours for the talking therapy. <\/p>\n

Alice Brent and her husband Jono say they felt it was worth it. <\/p>\n

\"Alice<\/p>\n

Alice chatting about the experience with her husband and three children. (Source: TVNZ)<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt I was only sticking around because others wanted me to,\u201d she says. \u201cBut I want to now. I want to see weddings and grandchildren and travel and see the world with Jono.\u201d<\/p>\n

She hopes others like her will get the same chance. \u201cThere will be people who feel there\u2019s no hope, who look down the barrel of the rest of their lives and feel horror. I do feel this has given me enough insight into the cause to say, \u2018Up yours, depression. We\u2019re not doing this anymore.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

‘Everything ceased to exist’: Watch this story on TVNZ+<\/a><\/p>\n

The morning’s headlines in 90 seconds, including Hurricane Melissa makes landfall, the new low mortgage rate from a smaller bank, and new research into whether gluten is the dietary devil it\u2019s made out to be. (Source: 1News)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A Christchurch woman who felt life was no longer worth living has become the first person to take…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":105819,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[5901,134,5944,111,43,139,69,1297],"class_list":{"0":"post-105818","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-new-zealand","8":"tag-1news-recommends","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-life-issues","11":"tag-new-zealand","12":"tag-news","13":"tag-newzealand","14":"tag-nz","15":"tag-wellbeing"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105818"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105818\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/105819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}