TW: Sadly, I was slower than a rugby player trying to find a key inside a treasure chest on a moving train, and didn\u2019t get a sneak peek at the finale when it was uploaded here several hours before it aired in the UK. \u201cWe are deeply sorry that the final of The Celebrity Traitors was made available in Canada and New Zealand ahead of its scheduled BBC One premier transmission,\u201d a spokesperson for All3Media International said. \u201cThis occurred due to an internal miscommunication regarding release dates. The episode was taken down immediately once the issue was identified.\u201d I mean, what a perfect lead-in for a show that\u2019s based entirely on mistakes, miscommunication and misunderstandings.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Traitors UK host and general legend Claudia Winkleman (Photo: Supplied)<\/p>\n
AC: Was your so-called spokesperson Alan Carr himself? Honestly wouldn\u2019t put anything past that fella at this stage. I was at a birthday dinner on Thursday night with someone who had been lucky enough to snaffle up ThreeNow\u2019s snafu upload and she was sitting there like this<\/a>. It took everything in me not to give her the ol\u2019 Kate Garraway (ask a bunch of confused questions and then just do nothing with the answers). Alas, I waited to watch it along with the broadcast on Friday night, and it did not disappoint. That final challenge? OK Crunchie bar train robbery!!!<\/p>\n TW: Trains are cool, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the lid of that treasure chest donk Boulder Joe Marler on the noggin three times in a row while the train chugged merrily through the Scottish highlands. This finale had it all: suspense, scheming, surprise, humour, tears, and celebrities overthinking everything. It could have gone any way, and yet, by the time the winner Alan Carr was sobbing into his sequins, it felt like this was the only way it should have gone. What a redemption arc for Alan, who couldn\u2019t stop sweating in episode one but had grown into a cackling, cunning puppeteer by the end. Do you think he deserved the win, or were the celebs just really, really oblivious to the evidence right in front of them?\u00a0<\/p>\n AC: I definitely think he deserved the win, especially for murdering twice in plain sight and somehow flying under the radar despite a) forgetting he had a shield and b) laughing UPROARIOUSLY in front of EVERYONE while trying to get through the line \u201cI am a faithful\u201d. I guess that is the power of a chatty, chatty man \u2013 win everyone over with your never ending well of gags and pick them off one by one. It is truly remarkable to read our early reactions<\/a> and remember how close he was to crumbling in week one. A testament to both the resilience of the human spirit and the power of a pair of statement glasses. Were you expecting him to win?\u00a0<\/p>\n TW: I was sure Joe had convinced the others to banish Alan, but what I love about The Traitors is that one minute I want the faithful to sort their shit out and expose the traitors, but the next I hope the traitors deceive everyone until the bitter end. It\u2019s almost like it doesn\u2019t matter who actually wins, but it\u2019s more about how they win. Alan was the most consistent player, and also seemed determined not to take it all too seriously. It\u2019s a silly, silly game after all, and I loved watching the celebs hug it out at the end. They\u2019d just spent the past two weeks shrieking like banshees<\/a> down an ancient well, aka every celebrity\u2019s dream, so what is there to feel sad about?\u00a0<\/p>\n AC: Yes, that three-way hug was such a beautiful moment. I saw someone post a photo of it being like \u201cthis is what modern masculinity looks like\u201d which was hilariously earnest given the circumstances but also 100% true. Alan Carr\u2019s journey was obviously incredible and the sight of him in a bedazzled jacket sobbing \u201cit\u2019s been tearing me apart\u201d was instantly one the television moments of the decade. But as we approached the final banishment ceremony, pouches at the ready, it occurred to me that every possible outcome for The Celebrity Traitors finale would have made for incredible television \u2013 the format just can\u2019t lose!\u00a0<\/p>\n It\u2019s also interesting how the show kept the charities quiet until the very end, which is a very different approach to something like Celebrity Treasure Island where they are so frequently discussed. I guess it would look a bit bad to see a celebrity Traitor snatching cash off animal rescues etc, but just another example of how the show so deftly manages tone. Claudia Winkelman did an incredible job of navigating the rollercoaster that was Alan winning, Nick saying \u201cfuck\u201d and Alan then unleashing full banshee sobs. A Traitor win is always a weird feeling, but at least this felt nowhere near as rough as when a civilian Traitor wins<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Is there anything else you wanna say about this impeccable season?\u00a0<\/p>\nDeath comes for us all, unless you\u2019re a celebrity traitor (Photo: Supplied)<\/p>\n